to ask for your experiences of Emotional Vampires.

[Darkesteyes]

Yesterday i bumped into someone i used to be at college with. Ive lost some weight in the last year and she mentioned it. Which was nice. But i remember how obsessed she is with the way people look from when we were at college 24 years ago and she hasnt changed. She launched into a tirade where she mentioned the hair on my upper lip (its fine but dark) saying why dont you get it lasered or waxed off I told her its been there since childhood Ive learnt to live with it. Then she started on the tiny amount of hair on my chin. I told her that im between waxes which i am And it will have to wait. Ive just had to buy new bras. Then she complimented me on my hair. Then she insulted my clothes saying i dress like a 50 year old (Im 41 and i dont) I was wearing an orange and green outfit by Per Una. Skirt was quite long but straight down....it wasnt shapeless. She asked me where i shopped. I said Yours but their stuff is getting too big for me now so im starting to shop in other places. She told me i should shop at Next and wear similar to what she was wearing.....tracksuit bottoms/loose black trousers and a loose top. Im not really a trouser wearer. I thought my DM was obsessed with how people look but this person knocks her out of the park! Then she mentioned underwear and i said "Its a pity there is no one to wear the pretty new bra ive bought for. (she knows the intimacy and sex has long gone from my marriage) and she said "well its the same for me Ive got no one to wear anything like that for either. Shes bloody single That is NOT the same as my situation at all.

Then she moaned about being single. She was like this at college I remember dating a lad and all she could go on about was how "ugly" he was.

I was asked out recently and she kept saying "Is he good looking" Its all she bloody well seems to think about. Sexual chemistry between 2 people is so much more than that FFS! In the early 90s i used to wear a raincoat and when i bought a new coat to replace it she said "Oh you have ditched the trenchcoat. Good for you!

Has anyone else experienced ppl like this? Emotional vampires who just like to suck the joy out of life.

She's not an emotional vampire, she's a nasty sack of shit who enjoys putting you down.

an emotional vampire is someone who is so self obsessed that all they do is go on and on and on and on about themselves and their problems and their life and demanding you focus and attention on them and your sympathy and support and nobody in the history of the world has ever had a life as terrible and tragic as theirs and oh don't you think everything is so awful for them until you are so bloody knackered from being their emotional support that you're crawling away on your hands and knees, but don't try to get support from them because you won't get it!

me me me now enough about me what do you think about me

But they don't realise that's what they are doing because they'd stuck in the middle of their misery and they can't see outside it.

whereas the woman you describe? She sounds like she was flat out trying to kick every last scrap of confidence out of you in a spiteful and calculated way.

Cut her out of your life.

Had so many friends like this and eventually just got rid. See ya losers.

I have an example of an emotional vampire - your woman is just a twat.

A child I knew was very ill, diagnosed swiftly with a brain tumour and had to have it removed swiftly.
Emotional vampire arsehole phoned the child's mother while he was in surgery crying and distressed about how awful it all was. Poor mother had to comfort pathetic, self obsessed selfish arsehol. That's an emotional vampire.

Luckily i dont see her that much......its once in a blue moon. I shall be avoiding her in future.

Ive never met anyone so superficial and shallow.

Sorry if i got it wrong with the Emotional Vampire thing

I don't bloody blame you. She sounds vile.

Pag thats awful The poor mother having to deal with that. How can people be so supremely selfish.

I know. I see her sometimes and have fantasies of slapping her. The child died which makes it worse in my head.

And I bet she traded off the misery of that too, pagwatch

I work with someone who is always attending funerals. She will go if she has even the most tenuous connection with the person. I'm sure she revels in the atmosphere. It's so bizarre.

I have a few fb people who like to report local accidents and hearing police sirens from their windows. Followed by a chorus of speculative posts where everybody hopes people are ok and tries to seek info. I find that odd too.

I know someone like this but I cut her off after a particularly unbelievable episode.
The ex partner of a mutual friend dies very suddenly in awful circumstances, they had a son together and although they had split were still friendly. It was an awful time for them and we all rallied round as much as possible. Except this silly bitch who took to FB and text message to weep and wail about how devastated SHE was and how HER life would never be the same again. Not a word for our friend or her son.
She had always been a bit self absorbed and tbh a fun sponge but that was way too far.
She lost a lot of friends that day.

So you just bumped into someone you knew a while Ago and she launched into a 'tirade' just like that? She must be very unstable then.

Stop giving her ammunition. Why does she know there's no intimacy in your marriage? Or that you've been asked out by someone? Smile and be polite but keep your private self private.

Christ what is the matter with some people FFS.

She also embarrassed me at the till yesterday. Kept banging on about my weight loss to the young lad at the till. Trying to make it look like i need the validation of someone when im old enough to be his mum. Will have to apologise to him when i see him again.

Told me i should buy more magazines for the clothing tips (I get Red and Psychologies) and i like clothes but ive got my own ideas and style.

heebie the marriage stuff came out a few years ago at a reunion type thing. She wont be getting told anything else. She seems to have got even worse as shes got older At college it was bad but yesterday was something else.

Why did you even put up with it for so long

After the first insult I would have walked off.

Don't have the patience for such shit.

Username you are bang on I need to be much more assertive. Im only just beginning to feel a bit more confident again.

Looks like you bumped into my SIL she does similar, being partially deaf has some advantages - I can smile vaguely and ignore her when she starts at family do's
Utter fun sponge. You do not need weirdos like that in your life.

Darkest - I know, I'm the same, sometimes just to keep the conversation flowing I end up giving away way more than I mean too. I have a really nosey frenemy who I realised I was giving ammunition to all the time.

She'd open with things like "oh, I see you're all dressed up today, that's not what you usually wear on the school run" and look at me expectantly and I'd end up telling her my plans for the day when I didn't want to. I have had to train myself to smile politely and give her a one word answer.

Some people are really good at pumping you for information, especially if they know you don't like awkward silences! I have learned to embrace the silence!

Fun sponge

The most assertive thing you can do sometimes is just give them the old heave-ho ! They're designed to make you feel like crap about yourself. Which is fine. But you can decide to go 'fuck this for a laugh'.

Or enjoy the silence like Depeche Mode.

Yesterday i bought and was able to fit into a coloured bra for the first time (as in one thats not black or white or flesh coloured) its a gorgeous dark pink with a diamante bit in the middle. I was happy and she didnt manage to bring me down
I posted about it here because i wondered if anyone had experienced similar but it didnt bother me as much as it used to.

She sounds plain nasty and possibly a bit jealous.

I had a friend like that - told me it was my fault when my boyfriend dumped whilst I was ill with depression because "it must have been so hard for him".

She said other nasty things too. At the time I worked in TV and had some well known friends. I think she was only friends with me in the hope that she could meet them.

In the end, I moved away and didn't give her my new address.

Pag - so shocked by that stupid bitch.

So sorry to hear about the child

What a nasty piece of work Greyhound.