My DS started secondary this year. Its a free school and has a very particular discipline system and places a lot of emphasis on 'Family Dining' which is a shared dinner time where everyone sits at one table to eat with a teacher so noone is made to feel excluded.
I had asked about packed lunches before the start of the year and was told that they don't encourage it but if we want to give packed lunches it would need to be agreed in advance.
We're a Muslim family and are very particular about where our meat is sourced from. Most of the time we eat free range and only from suppliers who we are 100% satisfied with. For the past 18 years we have only eaten vegetarian when eating out. The schools suppliers don't have the same standards or proper halal certification.
My DS initially opted for vegetarian meals at school but he hates them. I have encouraged him to try and for the past 4 weeks he has done so. However, he comes home ravished and says he can't eat the food on certain days.
One of the teachers noticed he didn't eat the meat in school and asked him if he eats meat at home. When he replied in the affirmative she said that in that case, he has to eat meat in school too.
I wrote to the school saying that DS has tried the school meals for a month, he ends up hungry and because he doesn't get home until 4:30pm is unable to concentrate because he is so hungry. As a result, I would like him to take a packed lunch and that he would continue to sit at the dining table with everyone else and participate in the family dining but that he would take a meal in from home.
The school have emailed me back and said that is not an option and he will have to eat school meals. They have said I am free to go in and discuss but that they are firm on this. They also wrote that I had agreed to family dining and that meant eating the same foods as everyone else. (I hadn't agreed to the obligation of school meals and this was the first I had heard of it.)
So, is this a reasonable response from the school? Should I write back and agree, even if that means DS hates the dinner and goes hungry and I end up paying £11 a week that he does not eat? Or should I pursue further?
I'd like to add that I find the £11 a week quite difficult to pay. We don't have much disposable income and I am very thrifty when cooking. Everything is homemade from scratch and £11 is 1/4 of our family meal budget per week for those still loving at home (2 adults, 3 children).