something must be wrong with me to still be chasing a guy mainly because his very good looking

[mls3]

I feel like I'm some immature teenager.

Why am I still wasting time on guys that are rubbish just because they are very good looking?

Guy I'm wasting time on ATM probably knows nothing about me, probably hasn't even saved my number, doesn't have a good job etc.

Where as I have a good job, own my own house outright , think I'm a pretty good catch.

I'm mid 30s but im still wasting time on losers purely because of their looks and body. Is something wrong with me?

You may hate 'all that talk', Superstar, but there's no getting away from the fact that most couples comprise people of similar levels of 'attractivenes'. See matching hypothesis: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matching_hypothesis )

Pssh... That's normal. I didn't go on a date with a guy unless he was really good looking (I made an exception once because he seemed nice). That was just the foot in the door though. If they weren't interesting, or didn't go with my personality very well, I just dropped them and moved on.

If you're just going after looks though, you might want to accept that if it's just physical attraction it's not going to go further than a playmate. So you might want to also think about personality. Go for good looking guys, sure. But if they don't have anything deeper, drop them an move on.

The key is to be happy single. If you're happy with just yourself and your hobbies, then you won't want to bring in a guy unless he makes you happier with him than without him.

Looks are important. You need to be attracted to your partner or it's not going to work out. Anyone that says they don't care about looks is lying or having sex with the lights off. But don't just see the looks and then turn off your brain. It's ok to be picky.

I found DH who is quite handsome and has a good personality. It is possible to have both. :)

I think it's an increasingly shallow attitude the older we get. In my teens, when I was immature, it mattered. In my late 30's I'd far rather be with someone kind, thoughtful, funny and interesting to talk to. Looks are not going to keep you together for long.

A colleague once dumped her Topshop model boyfriend (and knowing her, I think she'd be the first to point out she's not model material) because although he was gorgeous, he was also dull. Once the initial physical thrill wore off, she was bored.

And I find the punching above your weight thing a horrible concept. Such a vile, superficial way to measure compatibility.

'Solvent with a good job and own house.'

I reckon Putin would say that about himself

Subjective, isn't it

My main point was that most women I know who go for looks over anything else usually have experience of poor relationships as examples of what's normal

But the fact OP you are at least aware of this maybe indicates you can at least do something about it

So you're basically a female version of Flavio Briatore or Peter Stringfellow? Hmm,

The daft thing tho is that if you found a decent, intelligent and funny man to fall in love with he'd soon seem like the best looking man on the planet anyway.

You summed it up better than me SaucyJack!

On 'I own a home' it's as much as a 'so what' from me as I'd give a 'I am well fit ' - that's nice but there is more to people and relationships.

Well thanks, I'll keep hoping to meet someone where looks don't mater. Sadly I meet most guys online...

I only say about owning my own home as its a reasonable achievement to own your own place outright by the time you turn 30 and I have q good job. Said guy is broke, works a shitty job he doesn't like and rents a shabby flat.