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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour complaining about noise in the middle of the day

19 replies

MrsWinnibago · 25/09/2014 10:11

So I live in a block of 4 flats. 2 up top and 2 down.

Upstairs there is me and my family and opposite is a single Mother with her baby (17 months)

Below me is one single elderly lady who is hard of hearing so she doesn't complain about our footsteps etc though we are careful just in case...ie no balls in the house...no jumping up and down etc.

My poor neighbour opposite me has had the brunt of the man who lives below her temper.

He had a go at me once because my DC were playing in the garden during the summer hols...ONCE at 6.00pm...normally they were in at 5 and certainly never in the garden early or ven daily as it's small and they play in the park.

HE shouted at me and I told him to back off in no uncertain terms.

My young Mum neighbour however is in her 20s and has been cowed by him shouting at her...he rasies his voice and "tells her off" whenever he's decided she's making too much noise.

Things like her Mum visited and was crawling across the floor chasing the baby and last week because my DC were visiting her and playing with her baby...he came up the stairs and shouted "Tina! Tina!" In a terrible tone of voice...and ranted and shouted at her that he would "report her"

It was 4.00 in the afternoon and the DC were playing normally...no screaming or banging...just playing with the baby and her toys.

Neighbour was very upset as she feels she can't have guests and can't relax. So she called the housing association and complained about him

Now she's in a panic as they've told her they will be calling in on him to "discuss the matter"

She's afraid that he will turn the tables and make her look unreasonable. I logged a complaint against him the 2nd time he shouted at me...and didn't escalate it to a visit as I felt he'd leave me alone once I made it clear I won't be bullied about the garden.

So...does it sound like they will be sympathetic to her? She's very scared as the girl who lived in the flat before her was evicted for anti social behavour...apparently she partied like a dervish though and I've tried to comfort my neighbour and tell her she's done nothing wrong...she hasn't has she? She's thoughtful, polite and considerate.

OP posts:

skylark2 · 25/09/2014 10:16

Maybe you could send the HA a note saying what you've said here?

UncleT · 25/09/2014 10:23

Yup, just tell it like you did here. Of course Mr Angry is in the wrong here, though perhaps it's somewhat understandable if he did live under someone who actually was evicted for constant partying....

LadyLuck10 · 25/09/2014 10:25

Short of sitting absolutely still and tying the baby down, I don't think she is doing anything other than what's normal. Off course her baby is going to move around and people will walk etc. The problem is maybe the structure of the building allowing noise to easily seep through, but what can she do about that.

Also he just seems to be a miserable man, picking on you both maybe because there isn't a 'man' around. Your poor kids were in at 5 during summer, they shouldn't have to tip toe around him.

Original poster

MrsWinnibago · 25/09/2014 10:55

uncle we thought that...he's been stung once and so is trying to exert his power before anything happens but she's been here a year now! He should be aware that she's not like the last tenant and really...she's anxious the baby will just continue to upset him as she's more mobile now and is only going to get noisier.

LadyLuck there is a man around. My DH. I didn't say I was on my own.

OP posts:

ithoughtofitfirst · 25/09/2014 11:03

I'd be tempted to get some one off legal advice if it were me and see what they suggest. He sounds really aggressive and i wouldn't and i wouldn't want to mess with him. You poor thing op

rainbowinmyroom · 25/09/2014 11:03

We have a dick neighbour like this downstairs. They threw his complaint out. 'Normal living' is allowed.

wheresthelight · 25/09/2014 11:05

Aww MrsW your poor neighbour!! it sounds like Mr Knobjockey has cottoned on to the fact that she isn't confrontational and is punishing her for the behaviour of the previous Tennant.

she has done nothing wrong and everything right IMHO and he is just an arse!

I agree that backing her up and acting as a witness is your best course of action. and the fact that there is already a log on file from you about his crappy behaviour is only going to help her cause

hope she is ok and you sound like a lovely neighbour!!

Original poster

MrsWinnibago · 25/09/2014 11:14

I have told her that I am prepared to put it in writing that she does not make excessive noise and that he is a shouty bully. I also told her to simply walk away when he does it...but I'm personally going to record the old shit if I catch him.

He's in his 60s...so not exactly threatening I could take him but that's not the point...she's in her 20s and just sees a "Dad type figure" telling her off.

The main point is that he's got us on the back foot which is annoying.

OP posts:

wheresthelight · 25/09/2014 11:30

definitely record him!

I hate people who think that just because they are old they have the right to verbally abuse and bully young people

RedToothBrush · 25/09/2014 11:34

I'm thinking 'harassment' is the key word you should think about here.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 25/09/2014 11:43

Record the bastard next time he does it and stand up for the poor girl.

I live in a semi, I can hear next door, dog bark, baby cry, them walking up the stairs, moving around. I dont care, it's what happens when you share walls/floors with people.

greenbananas · 25/09/2014 11:48

I'm glad your neighbour has you standing up for her. Oh and your children have a perfect right to play in the garden until at least 7pm in summer I should think!

Original poster

MrsWinnibago · 25/09/2014 11:55

What he does is have his say and then when anyone tries to respond he waves his hands and buggers off indoors!

It tends to be quick, shocking and then over. So I'm not sure I will have time to record him but I will bloody try!

I am SO glad she has complained. They have my complaint on record too...so hopefully he will get bollocked and shut up. If he does not then I will encourage her to keep a diary and I will too.

OP posts:

greenbananas · 25/09/2014 12:00

I'm not sure, but think there might be legal issues with recording people without their knowledge. a diary is a great idea

PlumpPartridge · 25/09/2014 12:04

The support of a neighbour in situations like this can help - I had an awful landlord (who lived in our block) and the support of my neighbour when I stood up to him was really really reassuring. She'll be glad to know you support her, I'm sure.

Original poster

MrsWinnibago · 25/09/2014 12:15

I'd show him the phone as clear as day green.

OP posts:

deakymom · 25/09/2014 12:35

legally you can make noise during the day just not after a certain time at night and if he is complaining about the baby making the noise thats tough luck too as until they are around ten he can do nothing about it HIS behaviour is awful and im pretty sure you can get it stopped dont bow to the HA if they say she needs to keep the noise down ring environmental health and the police they will be more helpful xx

MistressDeeCee · 25/09/2014 14:31

Unreasonable, aggressive bully. He is probably well aware he is frightening this poor young lady. He'd be happy if she was scared to make a move and had to tiptoe around her flat...I wish people like this would piss off and live in a detached property, or such-like, and if they can't then accept that human beings are actually going to be heard at some time, and aren't beholden to his choices. Just tell the HA what you've said here - and for all you know they may have an inkling as to what he's like anyway. In her shoes I'd be contacting the police, he sounds aggressive to the point of harassment.

Original poster

MrsWinnibago · 25/09/2014 14:44

Funnily enough that's what DH said..."Why don;t you consider moving to a retirement village....this isn't one and there are families here so there's bound to be some noise."

He went purple apparently...the man...not DH! Thing about DH is that he's one of those pleasant, calm and unflappable people...you could shout in his face with your fists raised and he'd still blink at you in a quiet way and not be scared...

He's not here a lot because of work though...so it's her getting the crap when she's on her own.

I will wait till' she hears back from their visit to the old shit and then advise her according to what they say. If he does it again to me I will certainly call police on non emergency number to report aggressive harassment.

OP posts:

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