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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fecking annoyed

22 replies

Hoppinggreen · 24/09/2014 22:19

So I'm going to a Bollywood do n Friday night and wasn't sure what to wear.
Our neighbours ( who I know quite well) are Asian and I popped next door to ask for suggestions. She insisted I borrow a gorgeous sari, I wasn't sure I wanted to as firstly I want sure I could carry it off and secondly I was worried I could damage it. She absolutely insisted I borrow it, I was there for about 30 minutes where I said I wasnt sure and she just kept telling me I really should take it and try it and see how I felt. This was on Monday.
I brought it home and tried it on and really liked it and then yesterday the daughter from next door came round ( unasked) with a load of accessories as well. I decided to definitely wear it, tried it on to show my mum when she came round and told the friends I am going with on Friday I am wearing it.
Anyway, there has just been a knock at the door and it was the daughter saying her mum had changed her mind and could she have it back?
I'm working tomorrow and Friday and am going to struggle to get anything else suitable and I'm bloody annoyed about the whole thing now!!
Her husband was there when I visited and he was also insisting I take the bloody sari to wear so I don't think he's the issue either.
I don't know if there is something cultural going on - they are all British born, wear western clothes etc but I don't know.
I appreciate it's her sari and so she has the right to do what she wants with it but she really did push it on me, I didn't ask and I had to be persuaded by the whole family for 30 minutes to take it - she even wanted to come Round and help me put it on properly on Friday!!
Basically I'm really pissed off and am going to have to find something else to wear with not much time.

OP posts:
LadyLuck10 · 24/09/2014 22:21

Did you speak to the mum herself to check what's going on? It sounds very odd this sudden change.

MrsWinnibago · 24/09/2014 22:22

YANBU! Cultural schmutural that's just rude!

Can you get to a fabric shop at all? a few yards of something red with shiny bits on?

Or maybe there's a sari shop doing next day delivery?

123upthere · 24/09/2014 22:23

Just politely ask her could u return it the day after the event? As you won't have time to find anything else
Prob she has forgotten already what you said you needed it for and when ( I forget details like that quite easily family life can do that)
I'd give them benefit of the doubt rather than take it as any bigger issue

MrsWinnibago · 24/09/2014 22:24

Well she's asked for it back 123...so OP can't really go back and insist she wear it!

Hoppinggreen · 24/09/2014 22:25

I live quite close to an Asian area so will be able to get something IF I have time to go. I'm self employed and have a busy couple of days, which it can juggle but it won't be easy.
To be honest this family have behaved a bit erratically before with another neighbour.
Not going to let it spoil my evening though

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MrsWinnibago · 24/09/2014 22:26

Look here OP! A sale on and next day delivery for a tenner!

Sarees for as little as 9 quid and pretty enough to wear to a Bollywood do.

Hoppinggreen · 24/09/2014 22:30

Thanks Mrs W!!

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LadyLuck10 · 24/09/2014 22:30

Great link MrsW!

YoSkylar · 24/09/2014 22:30

Nowt as strange as folk....

FreudiansSlipper · 24/09/2014 22:32

Mmm maybe it was not really an offer she expected you to take up

Or she has changed her mind sari's are often made from very delicate material if you do not have it pinned properly and not used to wearing one could easily be torn

MrsWinnibago · 24/09/2014 22:33

I want a Saree to wear now. And an invitation to a Bollywood party! They've got cheap accessory sets too....necklaces and earrings for a tenner. All very sparkly.

MrsWinnibago · 24/09/2014 22:34

Oh as Freud says....could it be one of those things where they insist and insist but you're "not meant to" say yes? I know some cultures are like that.

MrsWinnibago · 24/09/2014 22:36

Oh I am going to HAVE to get my DDs an outfit like these so gorgeous.

Hoppinggreen · 24/09/2014 22:36

She didn't just offer she went upstairs to get it and put it on me - then the whole family spent 30 minutes insisting I take it.
I refused quite a few times so if she hadn't wanted me to borrow it there were plenty of chances for her to say so!

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LadyLuck10 · 24/09/2014 22:39

Op if you can find an outfit rather than a saree it might be better to manage. You won't have to worry about tying it properly. Also you would need a matching sari blouse which might need altering and could end up being a bother. A two piece might be better.

Hoppinggreen · 24/09/2014 22:39

The daughter also told my DD that she would find one of her old outfits for her - she s not coming to the Bollywood evening but would have loved it for dress up. Guess we won't be getting that either now!!
I just hate people letting me down last minute, I have had today off and would have had time to go shopping if I had realised.
Anyway, I'm sure I will get sorted and have a great evening anyway

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 24/09/2014 22:40

Hmm very odd. If she'd have just sat there insisting then you could comfortably have refused. I'd be inclined to forget all about it...you may never know why unless you've got the nerve to ask why.

FreudiansSlipper · 24/09/2014 22:41

Yes that does not always mean you accept not sure what their take is on this but certainly I do not mind often means I do mind but too polite to say and you should know that even harder when presented with the head wobble too obviously not in this case

Or she has changed her mind

MrsWinnibago · 24/09/2014 22:41

You can get beautiful sets for kids on that site for as little as a tenner. I'm getting one for my 6 year old...she loves clothes and especially things like these...silky and gold embellishments

Hoppinggreen · 24/09/2014 22:42

Ladyluck - I agree, I will probably try and get a nice Indian style top to wear with black skinnies and blingy jewellery.

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FreudiansSlipper · 24/09/2014 22:44

I would go with that too some lovely earrings and bangles

Hoppinggreen · 24/09/2014 22:46

DH has an IT company based in India and visits every couple of months. All his employees are Indian and he has Indian friends there too. He tells me this isn't cultural as far as he knows and he is pretty surprised that the lady " changed her mind" as he doe at think it's the done thing as far as he knows.
And yes, I realise he could have got me a saree or similar at some point but oven ever had the opportunity to wear one before and he wouldn't dare buy me clothes anyway as he has no idea.
Anyway, thanks to everyone who replied . I am going to forget about it now and just focus on having a bloody good time tomorrow

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