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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to punch my next door neighbours in the face??

33 replies

DaphneMoon1 · 24/09/2014 20:25

Joking. Not really. Confused

We live in a flat. I'm pregnant with #1 and our flat is up for sale as we want to move into a bigger place. The housing market is rubbish round here just now and not much is happening.

A couple around our age moved in next door a few months ago. Seem nice enough when you run into them on the stairs, say hello in passing etc. husband and I work full time so don't see much of them (no idea what they do but when I was off sick last week I heard one of them in their flat all day so maybe students?)

A month or so ago they bought a husky puppy. An odd choice for a flat which I know for a fact is even smaller than ours (really saying something!) but that's up to them I guess. I like dogs, and he's a lovely wee thing, very friendly. They're out with him a lot, we hear them coming and going all the time with him.

However, they keep letting him pee all over the stairwell, and there is dog shite all over the back path. They just don't seem to want to clean up after him at all and tbh it's driving me over the edge.

I chapped their door last week for a chat, and I was very nice. I said I knew how hard it was with a puppy, accidents happen etc but please could they be a bit more careful about cleaning up after him. The bloke was apologetic (if a little embarrassed - quite sure from his reaction that he knew what I was going to say before I said it) and said they'd try to be more "diligent".

There is still shit on the path but to be fair it looks like they've been making more of an effort to clean it up. The pee in the stairwell is still there though. It stinks and it's always in the exact same spot. It's driving me mad. The dog has also chewed up a big wad of paper which is now in bits all over the stairs. He is noisy and they're constantly banging the external doors taking him out at 12am, 1am etc. which makes our flat shake.

I'm not a confrontational person (neither is my husband). We're both quite shy and I really don't want to speak to them again about this tbh (I shouldn't bloody have to!!) I wondered if anyone had any bright ideas? Other neighbours in the block have moaned about the issue but no one seems willing to speak up.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 24/09/2014 20:31

Send them a note. Start by saying that you really appreciate the effort they've been making on the path but that there is still a problem with the peeing in the stairwell, etc. Go for polite but firm in the tone of the note.

If they've only had the puppy for a month they are most likely still house training it. Puppy bladders do not hold out for very long so they do pee more than an adult dog, and when they get into a habit of peeing somewhere it needs some effort on the side of the owner to stop them. However, this is not your problem and the owners have to deal with it.

The problem will most likely go away when the puppy is older and can hold on longer before going to the toilet.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 24/09/2014 20:36

Don't send a note! Too passive aggressive and you've already spoken to them face to face and they were reasonable enough.

Isn't there some kind of building administrator? We have one but we're in furrinland.

Your thread title is vile btw. It's why I clicked on the thread in the first place. To see what could have been so awful to justify such a nasty title.

pigsDOfly · 24/09/2014 20:40

Do they own the flat do you know? If they're renting pretty sure they wouldn't be allow a dog in the flat. If they are renting try to find out the name of the landlord: land registry will be able to to tell you that, or the name of the landlord's agent and speak to them.

Do they own the flat? Who owns the freehold? If you have a share of the freehold then you need to put your foot down about they way they are treating the common parts. If you do have a share in the freehold and there are more flats than just you and your neighbour speak to the people in the other flats.

If there is a freeholder you need to speak the them, I'm sure they'd been pretty annoyed to learn that the property is being treated in this way.

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 24/09/2014 20:40

You are 'too shy' to speak to them but want to punch them? I'd get some therapy or life skills YBH

Original poster
DaphneMoon1 · 24/09/2014 20:41

Oh FGS it's blatantly tongue in cheek! And quite frankly I don't see anything "reasonable" about letting your dog pee in the stairwell and them walking off and leaving it, do you? Particularly after someone has already pointed out that it doesn't exactly make for a pleasant living environment.

No, there is no building administrator.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 24/09/2014 20:42

Personally, I'd just go and speak to them again. The note idea was for if you are too shy to speak to them.

I wouldn't involve the landlord until I had given them another chance, personally.

pigsDOfly · 24/09/2014 20:42

Sorry, just realised you do have other neighbours who don't seem to be much help.

whois · 24/09/2014 20:43

Knock on their door every time there is dog pee and dog shit to be cleared up. Puppies might have accidents, but it's only a problem because they are lazy fuckwits who aren't clearing it up.

Or you could go really aggressive and start posting the dog shit thru their letter box and smearing it on their door. Probably best to only do that in your dreams tho!

Agree re phoning landlord/managing agent for the block/freeholder whoever is responsible for the building.

sonjadog · 24/09/2014 20:44

Too many "personally"s there. That'll teach me to post without reading through.

Icimoi · 24/09/2014 20:45

Have you checked the terms of your tenancy agreement and whether it allows pets?

Please, let's not have a load of self-righteous posturing about the thread title. It's really tedious.

Nohootingchickenssleeping · 24/09/2014 20:46

I remember that. I had a puppy in a flat and had to clean the stairwell carpet several times when my dog was really little. Wouldn't have dreamt of leaving it though.

Icimoi · 24/09/2014 20:47

Shove a note through their door with this link on it

formerbabe · 24/09/2014 21:28

How filthy! And what a ridiculous pet to keep in a flat! Check the lease/tenancy agreements.

borisgudanov · 27/09/2014 11:42

I'd be phoning the local authority's environmental health department. It's probably not just in and around the flats that they let their dug shite.

Topaz25 · 27/09/2014 11:58

I think if we're honest, we've all had angry thoughts, we wouldn't actually act on. The thread title is clearly venting not threatening and some people are taking it too seriously!

SaucyJack · 27/09/2014 12:01

YWBU to punch them. Bag up the shit and post it back through their door.

Topaz25 · 27/09/2014 12:02

Your neighbours are BU. A husky puppy is not an appropriate breed for a flat without a garden, huskies need regular exercise and the puppy is clearly having trouble holding his bladder till he gets outside. I would follow up on the earlier conversation saying the path has improved but the stairway still needs work, recommend a biological cleaner designed for pet mess as if it still smells he will be tempted to go back to the same 'potty spot'. If your neighbours don't take it seriously follow the suggestions from PP about contacting landlord, leaseholder, council etc.

SistersOfPercy · 27/09/2014 12:03

Your flat is up for sale? Do nothing. Grit teeth and carry on. Now isn't the time to get into a Neighbour dispute that you will have to declare in your sale.

Only1scoop · 27/09/2014 12:05

Hope you sell soon although unlikely with that mess around....

Do they rent? Can you speak to their landlord?

KirstyJC · 27/09/2014 12:06

Trouble is sisters - who would buy a flat that smells of piss in the stairway?

differentnameforthis · 27/09/2014 12:14

Who is responsible for the keeping the communal hallways clean?

When we lived in flat we have contractors over every week, if this is similar to you, could you ask them to talk to the neighbours?

soonasthesunsets · 27/09/2014 12:24

Call police 101 and report antisocial behaviour. You've already tried the neighbourly word, so time to escalate.
And I get that you're frustrated and that the thread title is meant to be tongue in cheek... :)

FraidyCat · 27/09/2014 12:53

Don't send a note! Too passive aggressive

Ok, this is a complete thread hijack, but can someone explain why sending a note (in any context of a small problem with someone, not this in particular) is considered "passive aggressive." (I know that it is because I've more than once googled "passive aggressive" to find out what it means, and this comes up a lot.)

Surely a polite note is the least aggressive and confrontational way of dealing with an issue? Why do some recipents regard them as a personal attack, and react with anger that the person "didn't have the guts to speak to me."

In another thread recently someone told of people putting up a huge banner on their house, addressed to neighbours who had the temerity to put a note through their door, telling them not be scared of speaking to them. I'm completely mystified by this reaction. It's the banner people who are being nasty and bullying in this scenario.

(With regard to this problem, I agree with not sending a note. As it's someone OP has already spoken to, that would be strange.)

FraidyCat · 27/09/2014 13:02

As a rule, whenever I come across someone complaining about "passive aggressive" behaviour, it's usually them rather than the person they're complaining about who's behaving badly, in my opinion.

TeamScotland · 27/09/2014 13:11

Don't punch him in the face, whack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper instead.

Hope you get a sale soon.