to wish DH would sit down! grrrrr!

[ohmychrist]

DH is always "busy doing jobs" and finds it impossible to just sit and relax. Unless there's a film on that he wants to watch (and must be done in absolute silence) he won't just sit on a sofa and have a chat about nothing important, in the evenings.

I find it really anti-social.

Who stands next to the oven "cooking", when nothing needs checking for a good twenty minutes?!

It's pissing me off.

Apparently a bike he never rides needs a gear change right now.

He gets LOTS of time off work to do this stuff.

Btw, I do my fair share of "jobs", they just don't take up all of my sodding time!

DH does this. I walk after him saying '(DH first name) Potter' in my best Dobby The House Elf voice. 'Cos he won't stop bloody pottering.

He's sort of stopped doing it so much these days.

That's good news, iklboo!

Irritatingly, DH does all these "jobs" with a sense of martyrdom, which pisses me off in the extreme.

My dh does this sometimes- he doesn't like to just sit down and chat he will relax if there is a TV programme on that he likes otherwise he tends to get on with DIY (we have quite a lot of it to be getting on with!) He always says oh I'll just be 2 minutes fitting that light and then doesn't come back for an hour I kind of just got used to it and if I ask him to sit and talk to me he will oblige and I do make sure we sit and eat our dinner together! Also now we have a baby he does spend time playing with her when he gets home from work and bathing her etc.

Maybe go to the kitchen and just start chatting with him there? Let him know you'd like to spend some time chatting before he goes off to do anything else!

The sense of martyrdom would wind me up!

Oh, I do Ihatestupid, but he says (exact phrase) "Bit busy". FFS!

Apparently his brother's the same.

Haha! This is funny. I had a housemate like this. Always pottering.

Well it's not martyrdom...it's being busy and liking to do things. I'm the same.

If we're on annoying DHs can I please complain about mine? He keeps interrupting me when I am inhaling my evening chocolate.

I don't like to be spoken to during this ritual. Any advice?

He does have a sense of "weight of the world". Agh! Taking the recycling out isn't difficult and I bloody well do it without sighing away.

He just won't SIT!

Reverse psychology, make him an enormous To Do list!

Worst case, it all gets done!

I've tried that. He didn't take it well.

Not a lot actually seems to get done, despite the fact that he's always "Bit busy".

MyDH is also of the 'Bit Busy' won't fucking sit down school of thought/action. I blame his parents, who spent his childhood doing up houses and taking up to and beyond an hour to make a cheese sandwich :)

Also, the martyrdom! Either do it or don't but stop muttering!

My DH is a bit like this. Ignore the martyrdom - let it wash over your head. Is it possible that you are feeling guilty? If so, don't! It's his choice!

I'm glad I'm not alone.

I don't feel guilty, especially when I've been at work all day he's had the day off.

He's just commented that the dishwasher'll be ready in an hour, so he can empty it then.

Agh!

How can it take an hour to make a cheese sandwich?! DH would do that too. Bbc.co.uk had to "pop-out to the shop" halfway through for an essential ingredient, no doubt.

It's just pottering of epic, time-bending proportions, OP! I don't have the constitution for it, myself, I'm more of an 'in, out, put the kettle on' person, much to PIL's horror :) DH can talk about his plans to caulk the windows, too. Fuck, just do it, stop telling me the life story of the build up to caulking the window frame...

Chuckling to myself picturing OP's DH hovering by the dishwasher with an hour to go, whistling to himself and muttering, 'dishes need to be put away...in an hour' :)

It has to be the jobs he wants to do though. The recycling could build to Everest height before he'd notice or take it out.

Married to a builder, here. My DF did a bunch of preliminary polyfillering on my walls (think old holes where stairgates have been, ripped out curtain poles, etc.)

That was a year ago and my DH still hasn't noticed it's been done. Despite it being on my (ha, ha) to do wish list.