To not want to get my smear test done by the practice nurse and go to the family planning clinic instead?

[PleaseLetMeCuddleTheGuineaPig]

My mum thinks IABU and thinks I'm being petty and making a big deal out of nothing. It isn't a big deal and maybe I am being petty, but it's how I feel and I can't help that.

Basically I've just got my letter in the post reminding me to book my first smear test. I know that most people get this done by the nurse at their GP practice but there is something that I don't feel comfortable about. It's a small surgery and there is only one practice nurse. It just so happens that I actually know this nurse outside of a professional capacity, she is a family friend and we have known her quite well for years.

I do get along well with her and socialise with her at events, parties, etc but I think the fact that I get along well with her and know her well outside work is what makes me feel uncomfortable .

I know some people wouldn't have a problem with that, my mum certainly has no problem going to her for smear tests. But I just don't like the fact that I'll be spreading my legs for her, she'll be looking at my fanjo and sticking a speculum in it...and then we'll meet in the pub a week later outside of that enviroment for a drink and a gossip. I don't think I'll be able to look her in the eye .

I do know that the family planning clinic where I go to to get my contraceptive pill also does smear tests and I know a couple of people who have went there instead. I want to go there (and I probably will) but my mum thinks I'm being silly and petty.

But I'd imagine a smear test to be an uncomfortable awkward experience anyways so why make it even more awkward?

YANBU, DD1(16) won't discuss her painful periods etc. with the Dad she knows from primary school and other village events.

Busted ankles and earache, yes, matters gynaecological, no.

I wish she would, I suspect he'd be more help than the doctor she did see, but I do see her point.

No YANBU, your body your rules!

Of course YANBU.

Completely reasonable and I think your mum should just be pleased you're going for one to be honest.

I think as long as you go for your smear test it doesn't matter at all where you go.

Very sensible to go elsewhere. You don't want to be feeling stressed during that procedure!

YANBU, I have a friend who is gynaecologist and looks at a lot of lady parts but I wouldn't want her seeing mine!

Definitely have it done where you feel more comfortable. I had a new coil fitted recently and the nurse was really chatty. She told me absolutely everything she was doing including 'I'm just having a feel around to get my bearings', 'just wiping with a cotton bud so I can find the threads, 'do you want someone in to hold your hand?' . It was fine and quite entertaining really but I wouldn't have felt comfortable with someone I knew.

AnyFucker no I was actually planning on going to the clinic anyway. I just wanted to get another perspective to see if other people would think it's petty. I guess it's ot though. Other people have said they would do the same as me.

RevoltingPeasant eh, I think my point is something like this is very intimate and just plain awkward...especially when you already know the person.

Not at all unreasonable. The practice nurse at our surgery is the wife of a colleague of my husband. Just wouldn't feel comfortable having her doing my smear and then socialising with her at their work dos. So I booked my last smear for when dh had advised me they were on hol!

What's with the face ? You pretty much framed your whole question around what your mum thought, and was it ok ?

I am glad you have got validation from this thread though. Like I said...your cervix, your choice.

AF was on your side OP.

It wouldn't bother me personally but I've had a couple of kids and I feel no fanjo based embarrassment these days. Seems like everyone has had a look up there at some point .

Do whatever makes you comfortable.

Oops, sorry I misunderstood. It's been a long day.

Wednesdays often are

YANBU

It wouldn't bother me at all but I if it did I would book at the family planning clinic and not give it a moments more thought.

I'm a practice nurse and often will have women I know through my children's school, friends of friends, women I recognise from the local supermarket booked in with me for smears.

The joys of living and working in a small town.

I have no issue with it at all, to me it's like your ear or your elbow, just another part of the body that needs sampling/examining. But I am aware that for the patient it's not like your ear or your elbow and am very respectful that I am to be carrying out an intimate and potentially embarrassing procedure.

I will always offer to rebook them with a colleague (or see if I can catch a colleague to do it there and then) if they are someone I know in any semi-personal capacity.

I do resent the implication that FPC staff are better than practice nurses at doing smears though. I do between 1 and 6 a day when I'm working, which is usually more than I've done when working in a CASH clinic...

OP I think YANBU but I'm staggered that grown women still seem unaware of the correct terminology for their genitals.

"Fanny" indeed...
I think you'll find the word is "Fanjo".

YANBU
I once walked out of my GP's office and refused to have a smear test done.
When I walked through the door, she had a student there (who I recognised as being one of my daughter's friends )
It annoyed me that I was only told as I walked through the door ''oh by the way, hope you don't mind a student being present'' I did bloody mind.
Who wants an audience?

I ended up having it done at a different time and requested that only ONE person be there.

(It's very important thtat you have it done, but it's also important that you feel comfortable and not embarassed).
So, yes have it at the Family Planning clinic instead.
In fact, it's your mother that's being unreasonable.
And I'm saying that as somebody who is probably the same age as your mother.

I'm going for the coil and by the time I am old enough to have a smear test I will have been on the pill for 10 years. I think thats quite ridiculous. I can't even ask for one let alone choose where I get it.

As long as you have it, doesn't matter where. Perhaps don't give your mum so much info.

Yanbu. I always go to family planning clinic for this as my first time i was so nervous the nurse there gave me one hour of her time and showed me everything and explained everything. She built my trust up. I never missed a call back now and its not the same lady doing it. I just trust them. You go where you feel comfortable.

Your fanny, you choose who goes up there.

Nicely put.

YANBU. Go to the family planning clinic if you feel more comfortable doing that. Why do you discuss things like this with your Mum though? What has it got to do with her?

whatever5 probably because I have ASD and believe me when I say I can't help but talk about some weird shit sometimes...yup even with my mum.

Because of my ASD though she does tend to view me as being a bit more helpless and careless sometimes. She tends to see me as not being able to make my own decisions a lot of the time.