To feel really sad about this

[charmofavideonasty]

I had to fill in a form at my new workplace and it asked for who to contact in case of an emergency and I had to write 'no one.'

I know it's daft to get upset about it but it's put me in a really low mood!

You aren't daft.
Poor you. Do you have no family at all?

No, I sort of get used to thinking it's normal and then little reminders make me realise it isn't!

What about a friend or a nice neighbour?

That must be hard.
For safety / support have you thought of having a friend to be that person?

I'm exactly the same hun so i know how you feel

I'm from a different country and when my ExH left me I was in a similar position and felt pretty sad about it, too. I ended up putting a friend down which was fine by my employer. I hope you can do the same.

Thank you. I could maybe get a friend but the way it was worded was specific to next of kin, spouse really or parent or sibling or child.

It's good to know it isn't jUST me! Tend to think of sad little old ladies on their own, not working people in their 30s

Aww it's ok, do you have a neighbour or even a relative that may not be close by?

Maybe you should post this on your local page, I am sure that there will be some nice mners in your area who you can make friends with.

I've got friends thank you, but they aren't my next of kin from a medical or legal point of view, and I have no relations.

But it obviously isn't this that is the issue, I guess it's just the realisation that you matter to no one, that you don't really feature in anybody's life, that's hard.

I see this a lot (work in HR industry). Just put a trusted friend. It's who they should call if you were in an accident etc.

Purple, thanks, but it did specifically ask for a next of kin and I didn't have anyone to put. It's this realisation that has upset me really: not actually bothered about who to put because if I dropped dead at work, well, no one would care anyway!

But that's a really hard thing to have to say.

So it's not the practically but the feeling of being isolated?

Well I wasn't asking advice on who to put was explaining it had upset me, and had made my mood low.

Its understandable to feel sad. I didn't have a next of kin from the age of 25. I have dc now, but our company rules are it has to be someone over 18, so I still don't have anyone.

My DCs new school asked for 3 emergency family member contacts, which I had no way of providing, I can only give myself!

I completely understand and I remember the realisation made me feel sad (and even a little bit scared) that no one related to me would come to my aid had I ever required it. Even the friend I put was a friend for less than a year and if push came to shove would she have really wanted to leave whatever she was up to with her own family and act as my pseudo "next of kin?" Probably not, but I appreciated the gesture at the time. But I totally understand how you feel and here are some virtual and some .

I am calm :)

Why are you being so patronising Mrs Cumbersnatch?

Anything helpful to say?

charm I think many of us here can empathise or understand why you feel sad about this.

I do have a DH and DC but no extended family in this country and so often struggle to complete forms where you are asked to nominate additional next of kin available to contact in an emergency [apart from DH].

It does make me feel lonely and isolated at times and I do envy people who have family support.

So I think I somewhat get where you are coming from

thats shit op feel free to put 'BelleateSebastian offof t'internet' next time

I don't have a next of kin either. My DSis lives on the other side of the world and has health problems anyway so would not be able to do anything.

However, I have 'adopted' friends who matter as much to me as my own family and I tend to put those down.

I don't think it's at all uncommon, but I can understand why it may make you feel low. Just remember that family is as family does, not genetics.

Also some of the posters on here describe family members - even parents - who have been HORRIBLE to them. So blood relations aren't necessarily the be all and end all.

I'm glad you say you have friends - wouldn't they help out if you needed them?

Well I do think it's unusual to be my age and have had lost both parents to be honest - I know a couple of people who've lost one but not both by early 30s.

Yes friends are lovely but best will in the world have their own families - own parents, own partners and sometimes own children and obviously you will come behind these. I love my friends and words can't express what they mean to me, BUT I don't pretend that they substitute what I've lost because they don't, they can't.

(That's a statement of fact, I'm not being 'not calm!')