Here is my total income as a lone parent on benefits.

[HereBeHubbubs]

Inspired by a thread which is glorifying us lone parents as 'rolling in it', I'm prepared to declare my benefits income. It's not gauche to do so, because it's your money after all (looks at taxpayers), and you should probably know that I am also grateful for this support, prepad to pay back into the pool when working again, and am not extravagant nor consider this a 'lifestyle choice'.

I don't have Sky, a plasma tele, holidays, credit or catalogue accounts, smoke, drink and rarely socialise due to childcare issues. I buy all our clothes from charity shops. I do however have a concession rate council leisure centre swim membership of £18 a month and a £10 rolling contract mobile phone, with a phone somebody gave me.

I am terrible at budgeting and have been living on a £500 overdraft for at least the last couple of years - I never have enough income to return the account into the black, so I'm generally always at least £400 overdrawn.

My utilities are on prepayment meters currently eating up old debt weekly and a not competitive tariff.

I'm currently looking for work and can't understand how people sit at home without good reason, because since my youngest started school, I have been going stir crazy and begun to feel quite down and despondent about not working.

Fortunes will change in the near future as doubtless I will find work, but meanwhile, when you break down the cost of my outgoings, hopefully you can see that lone parents really are not 'rolling in it'.
Especially the ones who receive little or no maintencance from their absent children's father.
Unimagined outgoings include things like termly Brownies subs, school snacks at £8 a month, school shoes every new term, birthday and Christmas presents, rent shortfall £75 a month, winter utilities alone are £40 a week each gas and electric.

Lone parent age 45, two children 5 and 7, private rented three bed (officially two as one leads off the bathroom) terrace Anglia region.'Housing Benefit and Council Tax Benefit don't enter my bank account, they're paid direct to recipients.

Weekly Income
5.00 CSA
72.40 JobSeekers Allowance
34.05 Child Benefit
114.08 Child Tax Credit

£225.53 week
£902.12 every month

I wonder if, following the OP's frank admission and subsequent flaming, any MP would like to do a post explaining their income including expenses, and see if they cop the same shit

Beast, I'm thinking about friends of mine who earn 50k and 30k. They also have 3 houses between them and no child care as children are in school and are collected by family. I am also thinking about other friends, where the dad has his own business and the wife works for him. They too have 3 houses and they openly state that they have a very clever accountant and have not lost CB due to this. It just seems to affect those of us on PAYE. I do agree though that lot of working couple will have child care costs.

Oh boy, well they would drive me nuts too . But most families are a bit more close to normal . We see so many ppl agonising about whether to go back to work as childcare eats up all they earn, but on paper it's the gross, pretax income with no childcare costs that ppl count up. I had a colleague who just lost his CB but had no childcare costs at all as his wife cared for their family, and he is better off than two ppl earning the same salary between them with kids in nursery, no question.

Thanks ArsenicFaceCream he is an absolute delight and I am so proud of him.

Something about me busking and dancing in the street for money? That must be a deleted post from Sugar .

Really, I'm so shy I can barely look people in the eye. I can't see myself doing something so silly. But I appreciate it's just nonsense coming from Sugar. But this is what sits in my mind every day, that lots of people do think like Sugar, that I'm being judged badly for not being able to find work. I have crushing self confidence issues, and to be honest I'd be happiest sat in an office on my own doing repetitive data entry for the next 30 years. I feel bad enough that I've burdened my chikdren with a dole dosser mother.

Every day, I see the approx 30 year old single mother opposite my house, who has one 7 year old child, hanging out of her window smoking, and her tele is on all day, there's no curtains in the windows so I see it. She is fit ( I see her at the gym on my way to the pool), she is very confident and sociable and a lovely young woman, and I wonder why she isn't working and is happy to sit on the dole all day. We are both in an identical situation really, but I don't actually know her story.

She could also have fled DV and have self esteem issues but just hides them well, she could also struggle with transport issues, she could also be well enough maintained by her child's father not to need to bother finding work (he does turn up every other weekend for custody in his personalised plate Land Rover blingy thing and they are very warm and co-operative with eachother, so I assume ...)

But that's the only assumption I'll make about people in my situation. I'm not a curtain twitcher honestly it's just that my house is opposite a halfway house so there are police raids and drug dealing and all sorts going on right outside my window. It's irresistible not to take a peek.

I'm loving this let's all race to the bottom attitude.

People who don't have a job should just live on the streets. That'll definitely mean that employers will pay workers a decent wage.

I agree beast, where the family earns the same between them as one high earner in another family with a SAHP, this would definitely be the case. I realise there is no one size fits all in any family situation. We are all different. I just find the way this government have done this particular cut to CB very clumsy and not well thought through. I'm not massively convinced it will save much either. I would be interested to hear how effective it has been once the government have all the receipts for tax payments, etc. I wonder if they will tell us . I also think it is the start of the erosion of universality.

OP go to wordpress now, open an account, start blogging.

You're already doing it on this thread.

You are potentially the next Jack Monroe (with fewer recipes )

Ihave just noticed there are 11 Inboxes wishing me luck in jobhunting and so on Can I please say a collective thankyou to everyone who Inboxed me otherwise I'll run out of Internet credit at this rate replying to everyone. It might only be words on a screen but even hearing a few people say it's alright and things get better, platitudes they may be but reinforced by the fact MN does have it good points, it is a real support system, (you were all here for my DV years under a different username) and I warmly appreciate people taking time to message me. So Thankyou, AI feel very humbled. And a bit upset too for some reason . Blardyhell, AI shouldn't be getting emotional. As you can see, this is what sitting home all day is about , feeling like utter worthless crap most days and them having to go and stand at the school gates and feel even less of a regular citizen amongst all those hardworking normal parents. Those thinking they're better off on benefits than their wages. No you're not. This is the reality of it. Your personality starts to break down. Everything starts to break down.

You'll be ok OP.

I survived it, you will too. Lots of women have but the stigma of benefits keeps them quiet later. You have insight, which is half the battle

OP, you will indeed be ok. I just refreshed the page to post in reply to your comment:
I feel bad enough that I've burdened my children with a dole dosser mother.

No, you haven't: you have removed your children from a damaging situation, and clearly do not plan to remain on the dole. Good luck.

It feels a bit unnecessary now that you have posted just above, but even so I still wanted to say it.

Yes, it was a suggestion to do a 'silly dance' as a busking spectacle. Made me howl with laughter. Sure, can see that going over well when you apply for a license. 'What will you be performing?' A silly dance. FFS.

I have done busking with my violin when I was a student. People should not rule that kind of thing out.

On pensions - y es most of the budget on social payments it to the old but it's a difficult issue because those pensioners were told if they paid something like 12% of their income for 40 years in then on retirement they would get a state pension. We have a contributory system.

Some countries in the UK have no contributory system and just a safety net whatever your age of low benefits if you fall on hard times but most people who pay into it never need it. In the UK we don't have that we have a sort of system like I think some other EU tstate have of very high contributions (12% of pay is a good chunk) and if you work for 35 years (which can include 10 years caring for children) then in return you ger £150 a week once you are 70 or whatever state retirement age will be for most of us on the thread.

The problem we have is if you choose never to do a day's work in your life you won't get the £105 but you might well get pension credit and housing benefit which may well be worth more than the 150. So we reward the idl;e and those who never work and make a mockery of the state contributory pension. Iain Duncan Smith is trying very hard to reform this but even under universal credit you will lose something like 66% of every extra pound as you ease into work. That is not much incentive to work hard unless you think ultimately you will run the school in which you get that job and will earn £100k a year if you stick it out. If there is genuinely no hope of that then there is not a huge incentive to take a job.

I don't know the answer. Things are getting better for those who want jobs as there are more available now but it's still not easy.

For the record my children don't get presents at Christmas and birthdays. Not everyone does. We are not materialistic in this family but I do know that there are in some parts of the UK and some cultures and groups huge store put on Christmas and getting presents - just look at all the Christmas threads even though Christmas is really about washing the feet of the poor and going to church which doesn't cost a penny.

I certainly think it's worth leafletting homes every day offering to provide services as I know people who have built up businesses that day.

I've been where you are and have come out the other side. It does get better and people like sugar are few and far between. I know one person like her in real life and that is it the majority of people are much nicer.

Sometimes there is no knowing where someone on benefits can end up for example my annual tax bill is more than I ever received in benefits when I fled dv so I refuse to feel bad about relying on the system when I had to and neither should you.

Good luck in the job hunting but in the meantime meal plan, write a budget and note every penny you spend it's tedious but it does help, it might surprise you. If you can clear your overdraft and get a little in savings it will ease the transition to work.

Sure, Green, but playing a musical instrument requires instruction and skill. A 'silly dance' is probably not going to qualify for a busking license.

op you'll be fine. Like many others I've been there. Things are no longet so bad that I have to spend less than a fiver on my dc and have promised them a (second hand) ps2 or Xbox. and like I posted way up thread I've been on less than you are now and survived. And that comment was snidey and unxnecessary so I apologise.

for those saying there should be a flat rate for everybody what should that be then?

does it include pensioners/disabled,because if its a flat rate for everybody it must include them then

Did someone say that sugarmouse had been banned? Why?

I don't like her posts ever since she told me some time ago that I needed to thank her and every other tax payer for the fact my son had a Christmas present. .

Was about to inbox her for her address when I rmmebered that DS's Dad gave me the money.

I don't take her too seriously despite my last post to her on this thread...she is such a caricature she is almost unreal.

Presumably MNHQ can see something we aren't privy to. PBP maybe?

Or previous warnings?

sugar was probably KH's best mate but anyhooo what a brilliant idea of Arsenic's OP start blogging, maybe difficult with limited BB time but maybe someone here can come up with a way round that. You are certainly articulate and an easy, enjoyable read.

OP, lots of people have been on benefits but you might not know about it. you are NOT a poor role model by not working at this time. Hell, i was a job seeker for 16 months - i know all about it. i think people are just shocked at the amount.

Awww. op I hope you can see that there is a huge sympathy for ppl who use our benefits system for the hard times, and who will move on when they can.

Sugar was presumably banned for a ridiculously inappropriate and frankly nasty suggestion of how op could earn some extra money.

I think sugarmouse will have been suspended, not banned. It's a warning ant the next vile post you are suspended, apparently.

OP, I think you have been very brave and should be proud you got your children out of that awful homelife.

Please ignore the nasty comments, you sound like a fantastic Mum and I've no doubt you will find work.

Good luck to you.

Thats after your rent is paid?

Rowena said banned Mrs Potato