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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let DS be weighed at school?

294 replies

QueenofKelsingra · 23/09/2014 18:50

DS is in reception. just had the letter home saying the whole year will be weighed and measured for the NHS.

I don't really know why but I don't want him to have this done. DS is a healthy height and weight (75 and 50 centiles respectively) so I'm not 'scared' I will get some snotty letter stating that he is over/under weight. I just don't like the idea of someone else taking his measurements and making comments/statements about him when I haven't asked for it.

DH thinks I'm making a mountain out of a molehill and that it's no big deal. For some reason I just don't like the idea.

So WIBU to refuse to have him weighed and measured? Anyone else do this and why??

OP posts:
PastorOfMuppets · 23/09/2014 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILovePud · 23/09/2014 19:59

I never think of people who opt out of providing this kind of data as pains in the ass, if everyone goes along with this because they feel pressured to then it makes a mockery of consent and that should underpin everything a health service does.

Fanfeckintastic · 23/09/2014 20:01

I always find it so creepy when people declare their children and their children's health to be "mine" and "my responsibility" as opposed to trained professionals. Makes me shudder.

LotsaTuddles · 23/09/2014 20:01

I may be being a bit dim, but isn't this how they decide the centiles?

They weigh and measure as many children as possible and make it into averages?

maresedotes · 23/09/2014 20:03

Yanbu. I've never had my children weighed. I see no point in this exercise.

Mintyy · 23/09/2014 20:03

It's not creepy at all! don't be daft.

LiegeAndLief · 23/09/2014 20:04

If you don't want to it's up to you, but don't kid yourself about the statistics thing. Your ds is already a statistic and has been since he was born. He can be included in statistics about the number of babies born in his birth year, in his birth month, at the hospital he was born in, about the number of home births that year / in that county / under a particular group of midwives, about babies who are breech, about birth weight, about preschoolers who were inoculated or not, about those who turned up to the 2 year check and what boxes they could tick. Now he is at school there will be phonics checks and SATs and levels and any number of other groups he could fit into as a statistic.

Personally, as someone who finds statistics interesting, I don't see this as a problem. It's just a way of finding out stuff about the people (not individual people, but people as a whole) who live in this country and making decisions based on that information. You may feel that weighing a child is invasive and unnecessary, but I think that's our adult projection - I doubt you'd find a 4yo who cared.

PastorOfMuppets · 23/09/2014 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPiggie · 23/09/2014 20:05

I would say YABU, but your child, your call. Just keep in mind DCs are a statistics from the moment they are born, I presume you didn't prevent them from weighing him at birth or at his various check-ups over the years? What has changed now?
I think weighing in schools is a good idea, so are dental check-ups. You might say you already know how your child is doing health-wise and what's the right diet for him. That's fair enough, but for many children it is the only way to find out if they are malnourished or obese through neglect - unfortunately not all parents see it as their responsibility to ensure their children's wellbeing.

PicandMinx · 23/09/2014 20:05

Hi Flogging I haven't been patronised on here for ages Grin. If you are happy for your DC height, weight, sex, dob and postcode to be uploaded into a database then feel free to consent.

LiegeAndLief · 23/09/2014 20:06

Having said that I do agree with ILovePud. I don't really understand the logic behind opting out of these kinds of things but I completely agree with the basis of consent.

Fanfeckintastic · 23/09/2014 20:07

Reminds me of Kathy Bates in Misery, iik

Floggingmolly · 23/09/2014 20:08

It's usually the mothers of the very, very sturdy children, Fanfeckingtastic.

ModreB · 23/09/2014 20:09

DS1 was weighed and labelled obese at 7yo, 10yo, 11yo, 13yo, and finally 15yo.

Each time, they were unable to factor in that he was a child large for his age, height wise, and a very formidable rugby player with not an ounce of fat on him, but naturally heavily muscled and tall.

If they are happy, healthy and fit into normal clothes for the age, ignore the letters and carry on as you are. I did and now have 3 x DS's with the same label but as adults are very fit, healthy and well within normal weight ranges.

starlight1234 · 23/09/2014 20:11

I consented for my son. I didn't have an issue really. My mum didn't let me have any medical treatment at school as they failed to diagnose a broken leg she told them they were not competent. I remember been embarrassed left in the classroom while everyone went to the nit nurse and used to sneak in. I don't want my DC to feel like that. I may feel differently if I thought he was overweight

Fanfeckintastic · 23/09/2014 20:12

It's becoming so clear why there's a childhood obesity epidemic!

BomChickaMeowMeow · 23/09/2014 20:12

They'd be better off weighing kids in Y3 as well. Hardly any in DDs' school are overweight in reception, but quite a number look doughy and unfit by Y3.

Haferflocke · 23/09/2014 20:13

So anyone who opts out has an obese child and is a psychopath. I think I rather prefer the pita.
Get a grip people. It's called consent.

Mintyy · 23/09/2014 20:14

I was quite happy for my dd to be weighed and measured, even though she's on the 95th centile for everything and always has been. Someone has to be!

She's also had MMR and the hpv vaccine.

I am obviously some kind of sheep - but we really do not live in a civilised society if others cannot opt out for their own good reasons, or even no reason at all particularly in the case of weighing and measuring.

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 23/09/2014 20:14

yes they were weighed at birth and DS1 was weighed for the first few weeks and I have never felt so bullied, undermined and like the most useless mother as I did then. Since then I have not taken any of my DC for weigh clinics, I have declined their 9m and 2yr checks. if I have concerns in any area I take them to a trained professional in that area.

this is really helping me clarify why I have an issue with it. its the tick box thing, its the not seeing the child because the computer say X so it must be true.

picnminx if that is true about the level of detail provided I am swinging even more firmly towards opting out.

OP posts:
Mintyy · 23/09/2014 20:15

"It's becoming so clear why there's a childhood obesity epidemic!"

I've never read a more ignorant post on Mumsnet. And that's saying something Grin.

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 23/09/2014 20:18

I also feel put out that because other people are a bit crap not aware of their children's health and associated issues that I am expect to listen to advice that I neither want nor need.

OP posts:
Downamongtherednecks · 23/09/2014 20:18

Queen I don't like it either, and I don't allow schools to do it, and never have done. My dc are weighed at a well-child visit to doctor annually, and at sports' clinics for health certificates. Schools do school stuff, clinics/doctors do medical stuff. That's how I prefer it. You don't have to be compliant just "because...". If you don't agree, don't allow it.

pearpotter · 23/09/2014 20:22

There were so many overweight kids on holiday, I hadn't noticed it so much before. And in quite a lot of instances their parents were really slim. How does that happen?

NoodleOodle · 23/09/2014 20:24

Big assumptions being made that the people who opt out are doing because their children are overweight and the parents don't want to hear it. I opted out because it wasn't necessary and therefore a pointless interruption to my child's day.

For those who want this or don't mind, great- the service is there; for those who don't want it, they shouldn't feel pressured to exercise their right to decline. If it becomes of GRAVE national importance that EVERY child participates then they should make it compulsory, for all children, in any educational setting, but until then it is a CHOICE.