to not know how to take this.

[4boys78]

I am a sahp with 3 school aged dc and a boistorous preschooler. the older 3 do lots of activities so I am always dragging said preschooler to one activity or other. Normally I can drop off so it isn't too bad. However one activity is only 45 minutes and 12 miles from home so I have to hang around. I always bring colouring etc to keep preschooler occuppied but I do wish I had someone to take preschooler just for that one evening.
I have been chatting to another mum at the activity for the last couple of weeks. Her youngest is the same age as my youngest and she seems really nice. She wohm in quite a stressful role but gets to finish early on Fridays to take her older children to the activity.
I made a comment that it would be great for me not to have youngest with me and would happily pay for a childminder or nursery to have youngest.
She replied that she would never use a creche as she values every single moment at she works a 40 hour week. All understandable however, her youngest is not normally with her as she goes to a full time day nursery and is only collected after activity.
aibu to think this is a little off.

Let it go. She's probably catatonic with weariness.

I think you are reading too much into this. Does it really matter either way? I would just let it go.......

YABU.

Different people, different lives.

Off that she uses a nursery? Off that she values the time she does get with her DC out of work? I'm confused.

She probably didn't mean it would be bad for you to use one, just that she wouldn't want to in her situation as she doesn't get that much time with her dc. I don't think she was insulting you.

I don't understand your point OP.

She's talking about herself, not you. Ignore and move on.

Well she does use child care so she's talking rubbish really. Just ignore it.

That does seem an odd statement given the context but the comment is pretty ambiguous, you can choose to take it as some kind of oblique dig at you or you can choose to take it as more a comment about her own personal situation. It sounds like you have enjoyed chatting to her so I'd say give her the benefit of the doubt. BTW you have my sympathy as someone else who has to entertain a pre-schooler at his brothers' after school activities .

Could she have thought you were hinting that you'd pay her to keep your wee one?

Otherwise, she probably pays for a certain amount of hours, and for the youngest to be kept til a certain time, and it makes her life easier, logistically, not to have youngest with her, and gives her time to take her others to the activity.

Maybe she just values the time spent with her little one just the two of them. If she's working then she might not get much 1 to 1 time.
She probably didn't mean it the way you think, ignore.

I uspected I was reading too much i to it. just had a really rough week last week with ds4 waking lots so probably feeling fragile. Guess I just need a break.
thank you for replies.

You have different circumstances. What she said isn't relevant to you and your circumstances .

I think she was referring to the fact that as she works so much she values all the time she spends with her DC? Does this mean you're alluding to the fact that she said this yet is at the activity without her youngest DC?
It might be that the nursery is on her way home so makes more sense to collect on the way back, or that it just doesn't work to pick the DC up before the activity.
Definitely think you're reading too much into a probably flippant comment!

i guess thats it too carbe. i also get very little one to one time with older dc and just felt I deserve that too which clearly she wasn't disputing.

i think off that she values every moment but doesn't collect youngest when she finishes work but of course you pay for core hours at nursery and it could be on way home.
thank you for helping me see sense.
will forget.

YABU, she was making a comment one her own situation, it's not a reflection on yours. Maybe she doesn't want to pick up her little one earlier because she values the time with just the older ones, as they probably do as well.

It's a non issue.

She actually is paying a nursery though, to keep her child while she takes the older ones to the activity. If she wasn't, then she would have collected the child before it and have them with her, so as to value the time with them!

So, not only should you not take any notice, but she is taking bollocks!

MammaTJ - not necessarily, if the nursery would have to be paid a set amount anyway, and it may not be logistically possible for her to get out of work, collect other children, collect child at nursery, then take other children to activity.

She may view it as the only "older" activity her others get to do without the younger one, and be the only chance she gets with the older ones (there and back in the car) without the younger.

Yabu. You're micro analysing what she said

Sounds like she is feeling envious of you, op- she gets one afternoon when she finishes early and spends it frantically ferrying kids to activity. She'd love to be sitting crayonning with her littlest after picking the older ones up from school. While you're moaning and wishing you had a childminder.
Grass is greener and all that.