AIBU to think that if I sell something old of mine I can use the funds to buy something new for me?

[littleluna89]

So back before hubby and I had a daughter and a house and other such responsibilities we used to play a card game called Magic: the Gathering. I have two decks left that are mine, I payed for the card in them, I put them together I played them. I haven't played them for years and am aware they're worth a fair bit. This is completely beside the whole huge box of cards we have that are worth next to nothing as hubby already sold our books of expensive cards.

I have a Mac that is in it's way out and I really want to replace it with a MacBook before it dies, as once it's dead I will have basically no access to a computer because hubby doesn't like people using his computer.

I did the maths and worked out that the cards I have would almost cover the cost of the MacBook, trading in my iPhone would make up the rest. However, having told hubby how much the cards were worth and suggesting that I could sell them and put the money to better use he has said that yes. I should sell my cards and use the money to cover some of an overdraft on one of our student accounts.

With The amount if time and effort I'm going to have to put in to actually find the right buyers for those cards I am anticipating it to take quite some time to sell those cards. And I will have next to no help from hubby as he doesn't 'do' eBay. And quite frankly if we were spending money more carefully in that time we could have completely cleared that overdraft.

Am I really being unreasonable to expect that with the time I would be putting in to sell my decks I should be able to buy a MacBook that I am inevitably going to need and we wouldn't otherwise be able to afford?

I can kind of see both sides to be honest. I don't think either of you are being unreasonable but I do think you need to discuss more.

they must be worth a fair bit to cover the cost of a macbook so could you not compromise and pay half of the money towards debts and save the other half and then add to it over the next couple of months to save for the macbook?

Don't buy a mac book buy a cheaper laptop and compromise?!

itsmeitscathy

Exactly what I was thinking - if you have debts then they should be a priority over an unnecessarily expensive laptop. Why not sell the cards, see how much you get and then work out what kind of laptop you could get with that allowing some left over for paying down your overdraft?

Id put half towards the debt and half towards a laptop.

MacBooks are expensive and there are better cheaper options

you need to discuss payment of debts are they both your debts or just yours or just his,

I think sometimes people have to use money they raise from selling their own stuff, for family debts, my mother sold her cello when we were really struggling when i was a teenager, about 10 years later when more comfortable my father bought her something else by that time she did not want a new cello

I can see both sides buying a macbook when you have debts with accruing interest as opposed to student loans which depend on earnings over 21k seems a bit irresponsible if the debts are entirely his buying macbook is probably ok

in reality if he wants you to pay off some of the debt he should share his computer willingly

I think once you have a home and dc together, then decisions about money do become joint ones.
Whereas I can see the thinking that a person selling their 'own' belongings, should then have the 'right' to choose what to do with the money, I would always "choose" to pay off debt before buying any 'luxuries'.
Now what you need to discuss, is how much this MacBook costs, and can you justify spending that much (ie, how much do you need it) when you have both debt and responsibilities.

No, you get the macbook if that's what you want. Hubby seems to get his own way alot doesn't he?

Depends, what did he spend the cash on when he sold the other expensive sets?

Yanbu. In different circumstances I think you could be unreasonable - but you already have a mac, so you want to replace like for like (and he wont share his )

An overdraft on a student loan doesn't sound high priority, or do I just not understand what it is?

I think it's an overdraft on a student bank account rather than a student loan. Which could be quite expensive so I do agree that if if were me I would buy a £300 lap top and pay some of the overdraft off.
IMO mac books are overpriced by a large margin.

Did he have any cards/packs that were just his that he's sold in the past? If so, then whatever he did with his, you have the same right with yours. If he put the money toward joint stuff, then it's only fair you do the same really... If he spent his on whatever, then you can do the same. If the ones you said he sold already were joint cards in the first place, then what you do with your own is up to you, it's totally different.
Me & DH both have a load of MTG cards, and they're definitely mine & his, and if he chose to sell his I wouldn't expect him to spend that money on 'us' things, because they're his and he's spent a small fortune on them in the first place.

Tbh, I'd say keep hold of them - so many people regret selling their old cards!

"I have a Mac that is in it's way out and I really want to replace it with a MacBook before it dies, as once it's dead I will have basically no access to a computer because hubby doesn't like people using his computer."
I would pay off the debt if it were not for this part of your OP.

You want to still have a computer, you're willing to sell personal possessions to fund it. If he's not willing to make sacrifices (sharing his computer with you or putting effort into selling these cards) then I personally feel that he is in no position to ask you to make sacrifices.

Not exactly helpful but I was in a similar position.

When my old macbook did eventually die I nipped to PC world and bought a brand new one with 15% off and 12 months interest free credit.

You could put half down as deposit and pay the rest off gradually.

My DH didn't understand why I couldn't buy a cheap PC either

A couple of things - how are your finances arranged now? (one big pot or his 'n hers).

Secondly And quite frankly if we were spending money more carefully in that time we could have completely cleared that overdraft why didn't you just say that to him?

If he sold his cards and spent the proceeds on stuff for him then it's only fair you get to buy stuff you want. Though I probably wouldn't get a Macbook, I'd buy a laptop with no OS and run a Linux distro.

I can see your point of view, but if it was me, getting rid of debts would be my main concern.

You do still have a working mac at the moment, so in the meantime you could save up and then buy a macbook (although there are cheaper, better alternatives) when you actually need it.

I would pay off debts & teach husband how to share!

I don't do 'sharing' of laptops/tablets. It's MINE all MINE

Get your own computer!! I understand not wanting to share, but in this case I understand that having a computer is a necessity, not a luxury (laptop/Internet addict here :) )

Just as denying somebody a phone is not on, same thing for a computer.

Also, yes, sometimes what is yours is yours, what is his is his.

I think YANBU, but I think you should look at getting rid of your old Mac whilst it might still be worth something to someone and then that could contribute to the cost of the new MacBook, possibly leaving something over for the debt.

I'm a Mac convert after years of replacing PCs/laptops which upped and died with no warning, usually with spectacular timing, e.g. halfway through dissertation or when I was totally strapped for cash, so I completely understand the point of getting a decent computer rather than saving a few hundred quid by getting a cheaper one that might not last or work as well

To compromise, I would suggest maybe finding something else (DH's precious computer? Just joking) you could sell, or something you could cut back on, to put towards the shared debt. Also in the interests of compromising, don't go for a top of the range Mac - Apple refurbished ones often come with good discounts and warranties

Depends what he did with the money from his cards and who's the debts are really.

It's not great financial sense to buy a MacBook when you've got an overdraft, but you say it's a student ac so I assume the interest rate is quite low?

So basically I'm on the fence.

I genuinly can't use a windows operating system without destroying it, I went through 3 windows laptops and computers in less than 6 months before getting my Mac second had off a friend and that's lasted me over three years, I have also been banned from Linux by my poor tech friends who had to fix it every week time it went wrong, so it really does have to be an apple operating system and thus Mac. The one I'm looking at is the air with the smaller screen and no upgrades, so it's the very lowest price with it still being new (my theory being that if the Mac has lasted me so long second hand then the MacBook will last even longer new, and I can potentially get the extended AppleCare in case it goes wrong)

The debts are jointly accrued and the cards that he previously sold he swapped for store credit at the store he sold them in (because he looked at the amount of store credit we could get compared to hard cash and thought about what had the bigger numbers rather than what we needed) and then bought board games that we've barely touched...

We did have a sit down and we went back over the finances and we're going to rearrange where his wages are going ( mine already go to the joint account, his never got moved...) so that we can each have a set amount of spending money going into our personal accounts for personal spending and then the bills and a weekly food order will come out of the joint account, this will mean considerably less day to day frittering of money which will cover our debts quickly (a matter of months) and then we can start putting money aside each month to cover the MacBook.

The money from selling the cards (as I manage to sell them) will contribute to the debts initially and then the cost of the MacBook. He's also come up with some suggestions of role play books we no longer use that we can sell to add to the funds (I think mostly prompted by the horror of the idea of me needing to share his computer when my Mac gives up the ghost)

That sounds like a good compromise Luna If the debts are joint, having a proper joint plan to clear them and then save seems the fairest! And you still get a shiny Mac at the end!