To wear a pillar box red top to a funeral.

[AnAwfullyGoodOxymoron]

Picture attached. Will be wearing thick black tights and back pump type shoes. A small black headband with a black ribbon. Picture doesn't show true colour of top. It's pillar box red.

I think it's best to go with any dark colour. Red is just too loud and attention drawing, doesn't seem appropriate for a funeral. Any dark colour should do.

I think it's disrespectful tbh. Only wear dark colours, unless you're specifically told something different.

Isn't it funny about what is considered correct funeral attire in one country/culture could be considered odd in another.

When my dad passed away in April we all wore white (dad was a Hindu).

Combining out of the crematorium, we were being looked up and down by the next set of mourners going in who were wearing the 'usual' black.

I haven't been to many funerals. I assumed that it was standard to wear black or at least dark clothing unless told otherwise. My parents, however, who are in their 80s and have been to a huge number of funerals now, tell me that these days there is no requirement to wear black. I assume they know what they're talking about, but I think I would still err on the side of caution if I couldn't find out in advance what the chief mourners/deceased wanted.

I'm very sorry for your loss, Oxymoron. I hope the funeral goes well.

my mother died last year .saddest day of my life .but she loved red always wore it .so i wore a red shirt and my sons had on red ties .my youngest son wore a bright red suit .flowery shirt .but thats how i wanted to remember her .not black and souless .so you were what you like .my hubby went traditional .

Did your grandfather leave any instructions as to the type of funeral he wanted? My MIL said "not too much black" for hers earlier this year, so red would have been fine.

If it is to be completely traditional then something more conservative would probably be more suitable.

I have no idea if he left any instructions, He went down fairly quickly in a matter of days, he was fine a month or so ago when he drove down with my Nanny to visit us (it's a 6/7 hour drive) no one expected it to be quite so quick, he was having chemo for a few months there.

He was a bit of a miserable bugger most of the time... but he was one of those with dry humour, never could tell if he was joking or if he really was being a grump, bless him.

I guess I could ring my Nanny and ask, it's just she's sick of all the visitors and phone calls at the moment!

If you aren't sure and you think your nanny is getting a bit swamped by it all anyway, just play it safe, you might offend someone (May be not your nanny, but another mourner) by wearing red, black, navy, grey or dark green won't have the same effect. Do you not have anything else in your wardrobe you could wear? If not, do ask round friends who are a similar size, some people have wardrobes full of somber coloured clothes that would be fine with the skirt.

Keep the top though, wear it to another occasion and raise a glass to him.

Why do you even want to wear piller box red? . I'm assuming you have other more muted clothes; why choose a funeral to showcase something that flamboyant?

IMO, the funeral is your chance to say your final goodbyes to the deceased. I'd say wear whatever you think your Grandad would have liked. Given you are a close relative, I wouldn't feel worried about offending others- you are one of the mourners others should be worried about offending, IYSWIM.
I'm sorry for your loss

I'd play it safe and go with mary's suggestion of borrowing a top. Even a white blouse will work better, though you'll look like a waitress.

I didn't have formal black daytime things - and definitely not black summer things - when I was younger. These days I do, which will sadly come in handy.

Hope it goes well. Sorry for your loss. Seventy-two seems old but it's really not.

It depends on requests. I am going to one in a few days- we have been asked to wear bright colours. If you haven't been asked to do that I would play safe.

How ridiculous. It's a dead person. (RIP, Op's relative.)

They don't give a shiny shite what you're wearing. So long as you look smart, which you would...

Looks perfectly fine to me.
People won't think about what you're wearing only that you look nice and smart.
Does anyone go for all black anymore, we didn't at my Mum's a couple of years ago and I wouldn't have minded what anyone else wore.

The very fact you're asking suggests that you're having second thoughts. I wouldn't wear it if i wasn't sure. Darker colours are better. Purple is also a mourning colour, so you could wear that. i am very sorry for your loss.

They don't give a shiny shite what you're wearing. So long as you look smart, which you would...

With respect, and I mean that and am not trying to start a bunfight on a sensitive thread, you are wrong IMO.

Funerals are as much about the living as the dead. They aren't here. They cannot see and are beyond hurt.

As I said, I thought I was doing the right thing by wearing my smartest coat to my dad's funeral. My mum, who also took pride in her appearance, was offended by the colour, which wasn't as bright as the top OP is thinking of wearing, but was bright.

I was surprised at her angry reaction. She never shouted at me at other times but grief does terrible things to people. He was my dad, and I was grieving too, but he was her soulmate and what she wanted was more important.

Luckily it was sorted out before I turned up in it. I wore a parka - not my choice of coat for a formal occasion at all. But it was winter and I needed a coat and she was happy because it was dark blue.

It's funny, I guess middle aged and older people think differently, most people I've spoken to think wearing all black at funerals is a thing of the past nowadays.

Ahem, I'm a little bit middle aged and the colour wouldn't worry me at all.
But seeing as it would seem to be bothering others you may be better choosing something darker.

Sorry gertie...

What would the person who died have said?

I wore a bright purple top to my aunt's funeral. It was her favourite colour - she loved it so much she had her bedroom ceiling painted it! I did get a couple of sideways comments - to which I responded that I was wearing it in her memory because it was her favourite colour. End of issue.

I hope people wear colour to my funeral. And I am deeply middle aged.

Oh dear lots of assumptions here.

Unless otherwise stated by the deceased or next if kin in my opinion it would be unbelievably crass and insensitive to wear bright colours to a funeral.

This isn't a middle aged thing.

My teens and older kids wouldn't dresm of wearing any colour but blank to a funeral unless otherwise instructed.

"most people I've spoken to think wearing all black at funerals is a thing of the past nowadays"

There's a huge, HUGE middle ground between "all black" and "bright red", though.

I've never been to a funeral where everyone would have been expected to wear all black, but I've also only been to one where guests were asked/expected to wear bright colours.

At the vast majority people have worn dark/sombre colours -- so some black but also grey, navy, brown, dark green (potentially with white/cream depending on the outfit). Primary colours would have stood out like a sore thumb.

I wouldn't dream of wearing red to a funeral unless there was a specific request for red or bright colours. I'm not middle aged either. And I certainly wouldn't be bothering grieving relatives to discuss my wardrobe choices with them.

You must have a dark coloured top, surely? Black, navy, dark grey?