To wonder what's the most lucrative career for the least investment?

[Yogahoneybunny]

I joked with my friend about figuring out what is the optimal career for the least amount of study or capital investment...then I got to thinking I should think about it more seriously! I don't have a 'calling' and after years of trying to figure out what I love doing, I suspect I will never find it now. So, being a full time mum at the moment, I am thinking about what to do in a year or two once my dc are in school. I was always relatively academic and good at most subjects in school, but I went down a path of falling into jobs in financial services that bored me but paid well. I am hoping I have escaped and can now find a new career, especially since jobs in my old field have dried up. Any ideas?

Anything with "consultant" in the title. In my job, we pay out a shitload in consultancy fees which is essentially the consultant regurgitating the information we have given to them and then giving an airy fairy judgement but the bosses and stakeholders love the comfort of saying a third party has reviews something.

Footballers WAG

The one everyone fucking wants, OP. There's your answer.

mobile beautician/ waxer / hairdresser? Cheapish and shortish training

Are you joking?

Beauty therapists or hairdressers do at least 3 years of full time (more part time) training with constant updating of skills, techniques an products throughout their career. They also have either the rental on their salon (or booth or chair) and the cost of all their equipment and uniforms. If mobile- also the cost of running the car. And the pay? Local competition means really cheap pricing, sometimes at a loss just to get the business through the door. If you are an employee then it's minimum wage and the hours are not at all family friendly.

Writing.

But only if you are seriously good. Or a bit rubbish and come up with an idea that appeals to lots of people....boy wizards and spanked bottoms comes to mind.

I always here 'welding' on American sites that have threads like this. Apparently short training followed by years of lucrative work. Not sure if that is the case in UK.

Hear!

Female plumbers are needed. Yes you'll have to train but it pays well. There are spiders though.

Chimney sweep. It cost us £50 per chimney and a small fortune in tea and biscuits.

How long did it take to clean 1 chimney? I paid a man this morning £40 to clean my oven and it took 40 minutes. However he will also have fuel costs and equipment and products to pay for plus insurance.

Estate agency or letting agency, though you'll need to work in a market with high volume rentals or high value sales (so a university town for rentals, or London, basically).

You need no qualifications. You can even have a criminal record. As long as you can close the deal, you can earn plenty. I know several clearing £300k a year in their mid-thirties.

I hesitate to say this because I'm one myself, but also executive search (headhunting) in a highly paid field such as finance, law or media. These days you need a degree from Oxford or Cambridge, but again if you can close the deals you can make six figures easily if you can cope with the irregularity of income. (I've earned £40k in a bad year and several multiples of that in a good year).

Yes, I nominate student lettings agent. Innocent consumers whom you can fleece and then fob off. My dd and 3 fellow teenaged medical students all (foolishly) handed over £750 in non refundable "fees" on day of viewing in return for nothing. 3 months later they were presented with a very unfair contract with loads of fines in it (eg £25 for phoning agent with a maintenance issue) but had to sign as had already invested £750. Then when they moved in, the property is filthy, damp and full of furniture that might have come from a skip. No recourse anywhere. Also wildly overpaying rent (their own naivitee - they were convinced by the agent they had to sign on the very day they looked or everywhere would be gone, so they never compared prices). If the agent gets £750 fees from all students, I worked out he is earning £500k per annum before even charging his real clients, the landlords. Agency also lied about belonging to lettings bodies but there seems no recourse for that either There is currently no regulation and its a big scam. You couldn't live with yourself though, I reckon.

Slightly going off topic here but Nameexchange has your daughter contacted the council environmental health department? They can force the landlord to take action if the house has health and safety failings.

Does the tenancy agreement have a break clause in it? Most do. If so, they should blimming well hand in their notice as soon as they can and find somewhere else. There's always somewhere.

Thanks for the suggestions: it is a 1 year fixed term so no break clause. Council helpful but overwhelmed. The university (actually there are 2 in this city) is taking an extra 35,000 students (?it seems like a lot but that is what they said) over 3 years and so it's a scramble to find somewhere to live so many agents are offering this completely rubbish standard and getting away with it. The agents are breaching all sorts of conditions of the HMO licence (in terms of cleanliness, damp, dining facilities etc) but there is only ONE housing officer at the university as they have lost staff. It makes me want to start a campaign.

We could sue but it would be hassle when the girls all have enough stress with full time lectures and clinical, and they are slightly nervous of the agents being at the end of their road, and very dodgy (no idea if they have criminal records but their behaviour and dishonesty indicates they might well and they will not take kindly to anyone taking action against their £0.5m a year business for doing next to nothing).

Make up artist? My neighbours' kid left school at 16, did two correspondence courses, then set herself up on FB as a 'fully qualified' make-up artist. Her make-up is very mediocre, but she is constantly in work. And most of her kit is e.l.f and MUA, really cheap stuff.

High class hooker or a dominatrix