That people don't like me apart from when their shit hits the fan

[Bongobaby]

I'm a bit upset today that all I'm good for is when the drama and shit hits the fan with friends and family. They always call on me to babysit, listen to their relationship ups and downs, let them stay when the police have dropped them off to my house after rows with other halves, telling me secrets of being unfaithful, giving lifts here and there.
Recently I have invited a few people including family to a recent milestone birthday celebration. Nobody has replied only my father to tell me who I should and should not invite and now won't answer my calls. A sister who also won't speak to me because children are not on the list. Late party in a pub and more suited to adults.
Why do I get the feeling that people want me to do as I am asked with nothing back.

During the best of times and worst as well people show their true colours. If they just can't be bothered to celebrate with you in the way that you want then just don't bother with them in the future. Yanbu at all.

What a miserable realisation. I'm sorry that you have this.

So now you know.

What will you do?

Is it time to say no to the requests for help/ an ear/a bed?

I think it is.

You can slowly but firmly fade from view from the users who are draining you and who give nothing in return.

I really hope you find valuable friendships because you sound like an absolute gem of an ally in life.

Just hugs, it's horrible when you realise that people are in effect "using" you

I can relate to this. You are one of life's 'givers' There are a lot of 'takers' in life.
There needs to be a balance here and boundaries. A good way of checking is asking yourself 'would they do this for me?'
That isn't selfish, it is health-care by the way!
Seek out the genuine good souls in life if you can!

Oops, 'self care' that was meant to be!

I would cancel the meal and let your sister and dad know. If the others turn up, explain that you cancelled as nobody wanted to celebrate your birthday

Do something nice instead

I'm in the same boat as you! At times I'm suffocated at how much I'm needed and there are times I can't find anyone for myself

Well, you know what to do the next time they ask you to babysit . Preferably at a time when they really do need it too..

See I've found this but I've recently started wondering if it is actually my fault as well. I never ring people 'for a chat' or invite people round or ask them if they want to do something.

To be fair my DS has disabilities and I'm very tired and busy with his care.

Recently though I've really tried to make the effort, especially with my sister, and it has been well received and she's ringing me for chats as well and asking to meet up etc.

But it really is a massive ballache. I think I preferred it when I was only rang when needed

Bongo baby my experience has been that people do this when they don't see you as a real person. By that I mean they see you as a resource, perhaps part of their support network, or a service provider..lifts..sitter etc. But not as a proper person with needs and feelings.
Sadly you may possibly be partly to blame for this, a lack of selfishness is unusual and if you are always putting them first and suppressing your own needs as they are always in crisis (as you are a good crisis resource) they have no reason to do otherwise.
Questions you may need to ask yourself..
Are my needs less important than theirs?
When I help them is this approval seeking behaviour on my part?
does this action benefit me in anyway?

You need to put yourself first more. Practice saying "no"

And
"I don't want to"
If they are annoyed at you for not servicing their needs give back an emotional rather than a rational response.
And if they still won't see you as a person, drop them. I bet you could find lots of people prepared to let you work for them for nothing! They don't deserve the title friend, or family member though.