To think that as a single woman, you would only invite a man round to your house for dinner if you fancied them?

[rainbowchair]

I'd like a straw poll and opinions please.

Would you be annoyed/concerned if your boyfriend was invited round to dinner by a single woman whom he used to work with but did not know very well (allegedly) and you, his girlfriend were not invited?

Said dinner invitation was made whilst boyfriend and current girlfriend were separated briefly. (Btw this is for my friend). They are now back together. The boyfriend still wants to go to this meal with this woman without his girlfriend. Both me and my friend (the girlfriend) think this is a bit weird.

My opinion is is that as a woman myself, I would not invite a guy who was not clearly in the "friend zone" and who I did not know too well round to my house for a cosy dinner one on one unless I wanted to get into his pants. Otherwise I would worry it would give the wrong impression.

AIBU in thinking this?

Rainbow you are judging others by yourself. Surely you can see that, just because you do things a certain way, that doesn't mean others do?

Who knows, you could be right, it's certainly one of the options but also you might be wrong. I think this thread has illustrated that plenty of women would do this and it mean nothing. In reality it comes down to one thing; does your friend trust her bf to behave appropriately if the women does express a desire for him? If she doesn't then she needs to forget the meal and find herself a relationship with someone she can trust to behave properly. If she does where's the problem?

Well the lady doing the inviting may be slightly disappointed to find that her guest is now spoken for but that doesn't need to stop two colleagues having a pleasant evening surely? Does your friend not trust her boyfriend? I think he'd feel a bit awkwards saying 'sorry, I'm not coming to dinner as planned cos I'm back going out with x and she won't let me'.

OMG how many threads do you need about this subject?

There are two in relationships already!

THIS IS THE THIRD THREAD RE THIS TONIGHT!

And yes, that WAS meant to be in capitals..

Well the last man I invited round for dinner (before xbf) was my old flat mate so I'm going to say no. But I didn't make it all moody. No candles. No music. He came round after work and we ate rather than it being ;for dinner'.

Does that prove or disprove anything. I like him though.

Rainbow you sound like my grandmother and she was born in 1886!

Thinking about it all my friends have a couple of guy mates who theyre 100% not or never been interested in.
My dp also has woman friends who he has never shagged nor wanted to shag.
He went to the pub yesterday lunch time with one for a quick catch up.
I wasn't bothered by it. I told him to go and let me have half hour peace with the tv

YABU,

she might not know him so well, but knew him well enough to see that he was feeling down after the split with his GF & probably wasn't looking after himself too well - ie she offered to cook him a decent meal as a kind gesture - not shag him I've done this loads of times when I was single - still would, with DHs blessing

she might not know he's back with his GF anyway & if the offer was innocent, then she probably wouldn't think too much of it - she's hardly going to uninvite him, when it's only a kind gesture, a bit of socialising & a meal - that would be mire weird IME -

"oh, I invited you over for food didn't I mate, heard you're back with her, so you aren't welcome now" - how much more odd would that sound

I've cooked for blokes I don't fancy. It's partly how I was brought up - if someone's visiting round mealtime, you offer them food. It's likely to be a bowl of soup or spag bol or something, whatever I'm doing anyway - just means I don't have leftovers. I've been single for about a million years - possibly because I don't jump on everyone I've cooked food for.

Ah, right, that's where I've been going wrong all these years, just treating people like normal human beings.

I've cooked for tons of men I don't fancy. No intercourse came of it. Just dinner, a catch up, and in most cases a crap film of some description.

Likewise I've cooked for tons of women I don't fancy, and sex didn't come from it. Dinner, a catch up, and again... often, a crap film. (Hell, I've even cooked for people I DO fancy, and sex didn't come from it.)

Dittoing BearHug's comment about leftovers. If DS is at SIL's, I'm not cooking for myself. Seriously. Effort. And waste.

I agree with formerbabe in that its very unusual for neither side to have more than platonic interests/ intentions.

I would be concerned because the invitation was made when he was single and thus the relationship is a bit unstable at the moment.

Personally if single only invite a male over if fancy him or a long standing friend whos like a brother to me.

If she's got candles and everything out, it's a romantic meal. But otherwise, it's just sharing food. And if there is going to be anything going on - well, you don't need a meal for that to happen. You're worried about the two of them being together unchaperoned; whether there's food is not really here or there.

Shit. I've been an idiot the last 20 years. Almost all of my female friends, at some point or other, have had me round for dinner that they've cooked and I'm the only other person there. Clearly, every single one of them wanted to shag me.

Which seems incredibly unlikely, somehow. These threads are so sad.

Depends what she wore and what she cooked really