AIBU and perhaps a little bit precious

[PartyGateCrasher]

DD (7) started clarinet lessons in school today. She took in my own clarinet which I have had for 25 years or so.

The other children in the class are using loan clarinets provided by the county.

I told my DD that she was not allowed to share her/my clarinet with anyone in case it got damaged and to not share the reed for hygene reasons.

Well, despite the fact she told the instructor that she was not allowed to share her reed, he used it anyway for the other students in the class as they didn't have one and told DD "It's okay, I will wipe it between kids" which apparently he did with a damp cloth.

There is a particularly bad dose of d&v in the school at the moment which has wiped out a number of year groups.

I feel a bit at the thought of all those germs and spit on the reed that both me and DD will use.

IABU to throw the reed in the bin and send in a snotty polite note next week asking for my wishes regarding the reed to be respected.

FWIW all the kids had been told which reed and book to get in plenty of time for the lesson.

plusCaChange well, it was a cornet but yes, it had a spit valve

I shall never listen to Haydn's Trumpet Concerto (which we had at our wedding) the same way again!

You are kidding!! That is so gross! Yanbu at all. I would complain about that for a number of reasons, mainly because it's unhygienic.

Yanbu OP, teacher was gross as well as disrespectful.
Cherrybomb I played the trumpet and had forgotten all about the spit valve! Totally bleugh but strangely satisfying ??

Monkey, we're still best friends and she still winds me up about it! She would come into my practise room and wait to empty it then - horrible!

YANBU. Spit has a greater number of germs than a toilet seat. Gross!

That teacher was incredibly unwise and rude. All kids have their own reeds and get practice fitting them every time they use a clarinet That's part of learning how to play the damn thing, as I fondly remember.

That and the damn thing is YOURS and should not have been shared against your wished.

Write the letter and let him know how disappointed/annoyed you are.

Urgh. I would be writing a letter like a shot! If your DD relayed the message that she wasn't supposed to share then she shouldn't have been made to.

The peripatetic teachers are paid for by parents now, not the County so they are under a pressure to deliver a lesson that they have been contracted to deliver, but they should have provided a spare reed they were happy to clean in between instead of using yours! Urgh again.

I remember the spit valves well from when I played in the town brass band. My euphonium had a large one! (Triple urgh as I hate all things spit-related!)

Why dont you call in or phone teacher rather than writing a note?

I'm surprised the teacher didn't say he'd bring a pack of reeds in and the kids should come in with 50p each - or just add it to the lesson bill.

DS plays the bassoon (on loan from the school) and I've never bought a reed. They go on the bill.

£2 each - I had the 6 and 3 the wrong way round mentally...