DH out at friends...

[BonnieM14]

Just need a little advice from the MN jury...

Yesterday afternoon I spent the entire afternoon tidying DSC room - sorting out all the old toys/clothes etc etc in prepartation for our daughters arrival in 10 days time (if I don't go early/overdue). At about tea time DH comes into the room and tells me it's time to drop DSC home (DH doesn't drive & DSC lives in the same town but it is quite a walk from our house for a little one), he also announces that he was going to nip into his friends for an hour or two after we've dropped DSC off.

4 hours later, DH stumbles into the house absolutely wrecked and pretty much goes straight to bed only to get up an hour or two later to be sick through having drank that much. AIBU to be really angry with him? He has went into work this morning (nursing the mother of all hangovers). He still goes to the pub socially most weeks, once a week to meet with friends (this week it was Thursday but usually it lands at the weekend while I stay in and look after DSC). And I don't mind him meeting up with friends for a catch up but this late on in my pregnancy I feel like he should be coming home in a reasonable state. All I kept thinking was, "If I go into labour tonight, he woldn't be in a fit state to be with me" and it's eating me up inside.

YANBU, my husband did this the night before I went into labour and I was seething. Apparently he was so nervous about the birth of our DD2 that he had to get completely wasted and throw up everywhere He was understandably sheepish when I went j to labour less than 24 hours later. They're a strange breed aren't they!

YANBU, though you might get told you are.

I have no problem with the fact that my DP likes a drink every now and again. But about a month before DC was due we agreed that it would be best for everyone - me and him - if he didn't have much to drink from that point on so that if I went into labour quickly he wouldn't miss any of it.

Tell him, maybe he just doesn't realise. I don't think it's good that he's out of the piss and you are looking after his DC though.

I would be grossed out at any adult drinking enough to be sick (particularly my husband).

If it's the first time, I would let it go.

When he has his children visiting, he needs to be looking after them, not spending his time in the pub. What a selfish git!

YANBU.

if your due date is only 10 days away, then you're already at full term and you could potentially go into labour at any time. I'd be expecting DH to stay sober enough to be capable of supporting me during labour if I was that far pregnant.

YANBU. At this stage in the pregnancy he's being a jerk to get that pissed. Talk to him and spare nothing about how it made you feel.

By the time he got wasted, his child was at his exs home, so that isnt part of the issue.

YANBU, and you need to make clear that was his last night for a while.

Him spending time in the pub while DSC is here (just the one child -didn't want to out myself sorry for any confusion!) doesn't bother me because we have DSC all weekend, every weekend and have done since he was a baby (DH and his ex were only together a month or two and not together during her pregnancy & birth to DSC so no hard feelings and I've been in DSC life since 6 months old). We have a very happy step family set up and I am contracted weekends so DH and DSC get plenty of quality time together while I am at work. He quite often doesn't go out until after DSC is in bed and isn't often in late.

He tends to forget that he is in his 30s now and uses the excuse he is easily lead - which is true but by his age surely he has learned better. I seem to manage and I am still in my mid 20s! It all just feels like he wants to have it all - to have the social life he had in his younger days but still have the family life.

He wasn't at the birth of DSC as he wasn't with his ex at the time so is always going on about how devastated he would be if he missed our birth (he can work quite a drive away from home some days so it is something we have had to consider). So I can't seem to get my head round why he would act like this when he claims it means so much. Men really are from Mars, aren't they?

YANBU... When I was pg with DC3 DH was due to go to a big event he always goes to, with much drinking and merriment. Firstly he offered not to go, then we agreed that he would go but not drink so he could rush home if he had to. He was very concerned about making sure he was always available, ie not out of his head.
If he is normally considerate he may have had a last minute attack of nerves and got into it with his friend on impulse, but you should spell out how shit it would have been if you'd gone into labour while he was sparko/vomiting.

Thanks for the advice guys. He is on the whole a brilliant husband and father, and I really can't fault him the majority of the time but this really bothered me - I just couldn't work out if it was me just blowing everything out of proportion with hormones and just to move on like nothing had happened or whether it was worth having the conversation when he gets home. I am going to go with the latter! Thanks again!! :)

PM me your details and I'll come and bollock him as I would anyone exhibiting this stupid,teenage behaviour < I'm very good at it > Seriously though this is not on.Best of luck with the birth of a scrumptious baby.