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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was SBU to ask ex to put postcard with DD on in an envelope?

15 replies

2ndtimebride · 22/09/2014 10:10

DP's ex has stopped contact with his DD (1). He has started sending weekly postcards, that have him and her on from times they have spent together.
She has requested he puts them in an envelope incase anyone sees them. She says her leg is on show in one (it is, but she's wearing a jumper, and you cant see anything else, other than calf and knee, looks like shes wearing a skirt.)
She then said she is going to put them in a box, cause she won't be giving them to her until shes older...

(Shes a blocker of contact, for no reason - he has filed court papers)

We think shes being unreasonable, and just wants to hide him away, as shes lined someone else up to be Darling Daddy. The envelope would prevent her from looking at the message, and the photos is our thinking. (She weird) Her facebook is full of photos of her, her dp and their DD, more people will see that than a bloody postcard. (Its not about putting it in an envelope, if he should then he shall).

Are we being unreasonable to think shes unreasonable?

OP posts:
orangetart · 22/09/2014 10:14

I think she's yampy but lots of people I am sure will agree with her.

MyFairyKing · 22/09/2014 10:34

Wait, whose leg is on the show? The baby's leg?! Confused

Original poster
2ndtimebride · 22/09/2014 10:35

I don't get it myself, and I too think she is yampy! If it was my DD on a postcard I wouldn't think anything of it. I think their DD is at most exposure risk online on FB, than a bloody postcard.

But then I also think its just another excuse to block him out, hide him away and pretend he doesn't exist.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 22/09/2014 10:39

I wouldn't be surprised if the postcards get 'lost' anyway, so I hope he's keeping copies.

How long ago did she stop contact?

ChippingInLatteLover · 22/09/2014 10:42

She's as mad as a box of frogs. He needs to get this sorted before it gets any worse. Get solicitors involved.

Pumpkinpositive · 22/09/2014 10:45

If the ex intends to block all contact indefinitely, I think the postcard request is the least of his concerns. Hmm

Concentrate on what's important and shelf the non issues.

Doesn't sound like the little girl will even get to see the postcards anyway.

Original poster
2ndtimebride · 22/09/2014 10:47

Myfairyking - yes their babies leg (calf and knee)

Worraliberty - Yes we have copies of both sides of the cards. Good job, as she's referred to her as "partially clothed". Obviously just trying to make him look bad, from doing good.

The first week of September contact stopped. He has a date for court already, and its on the order that she may be required to do unpaid work, as the order in place was only made in summer! Not the first time she's stopped contact since the order was made either, its a damn joke.

OP posts:
Original poster
2ndtimebride · 22/09/2014 10:51

He still wants to send cards though or some form of contact to hope his daughter sees them- should he bother? Or should he send them in envelopes, hoping his daughter sees them?

We know its not the most important thing, but its all he has right now, and he is very upset that she's just shelving them etc.

We just don't want him to be accused of something, by sending a postcard in the post, of a baby.

OP posts:
Original poster
2ndtimebride · 22/09/2014 10:55

We also don't want to lose our reasonable-ness, in the anger we have for the ex.

OP posts:
Oldraver · 22/09/2014 10:59

I would ditch the postcards and put the effort into gaining access

WorraLiberty · 22/09/2014 11:06

He still wants to send cards though or some form of contact to hope his daughter sees them- should he bother? Or should he send them in envelopes, hoping his daughter sees them?

She's a 1 year old baby, surely the most she would do is chew on them? Confused

I agree with others. Stop stressing about the postcards, they are not important here.

MammaTJ · 22/09/2014 11:09

Totally off topic but I had never heard of 'Yampy', what a great word.

I think the postcards are a lovely idea and would not bother putting them in an envelope.

Original poster
2ndtimebride · 22/09/2014 11:27

The idea with the postcards was that she would show her them, and then his daughter would still be seeing his face with the pics on the front.
If he didn't bother, with any form of indirect contact we know this would be frowned upon by CAFCASS and the court. He very much wants to see her.
We have put all the effort we can put into him getting access. She is point blank refusing, this is all he has until the end of October, and the court date. There's nothing else to be done.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 22/09/2014 11:35

He seems to have 'covered' himself in the eyes of the courts by keeping up contact with the postcards, but I don't believe he ever thought she'd show them to his DD.

That's hardly the likely actions of someone who has blocked contact, is it?

Original poster
2ndtimebride · 22/09/2014 12:49

No, that wasn't the plan - he and I had hoped that she wouldn't be that spiteful.

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