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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should have let them hold the guinea pigs?

62 replies

YouMiserableCow · 21/09/2014 19:40

Earlier today me and my two DC's (aged 6 and 8) went to visit a friend of mine. We haven't actually known each other for that long and this was the first time we had visited her house. My friend also has an 18 year old daughter who still lives at home.

After an hour or so my DC were beginning to get reckless so my friend told them that her daughter would be in soon and they could go see and have a play with her daughter's two guinea pigs which my DC got very excited about.

However when her DD did come home, looking pissed off and in a bad mood anyway, she said "no" to letting them hold her guinea pigs as she didn't know them!

My children are very gentle and were looking forward to seeing them only to be let down.

AIBU to think she could have at least let them have a quick cuddle? My DC love animals but haven't got any pets of their own.

OP posts:
ChippingInLatteLover · 22/09/2014 10:51

OP, my friend doesn't have any kids or any experience with them so I've told her it's OK to pick yours up and take them out for the day, just to see what it's like.

HicDraconis · 22/09/2014 10:58

YABVU and bad mood or not, it wasn't up to your friend to offer her adult daughter's pets up as playthings. If your user name is referring to said adult daughter then you are being even more unreasonable.

Username12345 · 22/09/2014 11:04

YABU for all the reasons above.

BigfootFiles · 22/09/2014 11:16

"After an hour or so my DC were beginning to get reckless "

The solution to this problem is not "go play with some guinea pigs".

SpicyBear · 22/09/2014 11:19

YABU - they are living creatures, not toys.

Your friend had no right to promise your DC could hold them when they belong to another adult. Friend's daughter doesn't know your DC from Adam so I really don't blame her.

fortifiedwithtea · 22/09/2014 11:40

YABU. Our family has had guinea pigs for 8 years. In all that time the number of near disasters have always been at the hands of friends of the DC.

One 12yo took my lovely old boar on the trampoline Shock. Luckily he had the sense Hmm to jump out of her arms into a very huge Hosta and survived unharmed.

Your friend should not have promised a cuddle with the guinea pigs. As many have said, they are not toys.

NameChangerNewDanger · 22/09/2014 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fortifiedwithtea · 22/09/2014 12:52

NameChanger the hosta has since been killed off by mahoosive slugs.

The 12yo is now 14 I resisted urge to kill her Wink Grin

Lovely old boar lived out his natural days in the company of his guinea pig girlfriends Smile

cherrybombxo · 22/09/2014 12:55

I kept guinea pigs for years and I definitely wouldn't let children hold them. They are prey animals and very jumpy.

I visited a small farm with a petting zoo last year and it took all of my energy not to say something to the parents of a young girl who was grappling a poor guinea pig around the middle and the thing was terrified. They are not good animals for small children to play with, they are too wriggly and jumpy.

I think YABU, your friend had no right to make promises to your kids about someone else's pets.

NameChangerNewDanger · 22/09/2014 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NameChangerNewDanger · 22/09/2014 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Madratlady · 22/09/2014 13:21

Yabu

WyrdByrd · 22/09/2014 13:46

Grin @ NameChanger!

kkllww · 22/09/2014 14:18

Agree that small furries like guinea pigs are generally too skittish for excitable children, and that your friend should have checked with her daughter before offering. Maybe the daughter could have held them herself and let your kids stroke them (if they were calm), but it's her decision.

Thcrapth · 22/09/2014 16:02

this. may out me but i don't care .
years ago my nervous little dog had two pups , ex mil asked when sil kids could "come play with the pups '
my answer was 'never'. i am talkin about kids who had already rampaged around my house , openings doors and cupboards , jumped on my bed etc and were not pulled up on it by either parent , ex or mil.
no way way those kids gettin near small pups with a nervous first time mum supervised or not .
the family hated me for it and i was regularly reminded how unreasonable i had been .
animals are not toys , i was a conscientious owner that day and many after .
yabu

DrewOB · 22/09/2014 16:05

My 6 year old sister accidentally dropped a pet dwarf rabbit from a few centimetres of the ground and broke its neck :S
Animals are not toys, letting them caress maybe but definitely not hold.

Castlemilk · 22/09/2014 16:42

Animals are not toys.

The DD was absolutely right and good on her for being a responsible pet owner.

Greyhound · 22/09/2014 16:55

I wouldn't let a child handle my pet hamster or rabbit. I would be worried the child would hurt the animal or get bitten.

Darkandstormynight · 22/09/2014 17:02

Having had a guinea pig, he liked to bite even me. I think if the daughter was not in a good mood, the friend should have asked her if your children could See the guinea pig and give it a quick touch with a finger.

I would not have allowed them to hold our guinea pig because I would be afraid he would bite.

flipflopsandcottonsocks · 22/09/2014 17:04

YANBU at all. The daughter sounds rude and very precious. Your children aren't 2! If she didn't want the pigs to be held, she could have got them out and held them herself and with your supervision encouraged your children to stroke them gently.

I am astonished at the reactions you are getting here! It's hardly like your friend promised your children that they could throw a strangers kitten off the roof. They were her daughters guinea pigs, and your kids just wanted to see them, hardly an unreasonable request!

kali110 · 22/09/2014 17:29

Yabu and so is your friend. It's not up to her to say your kids can touch her daughters pets. They aren't her pets.
Don't think it sounded like it would have been a great idea anyway!they are pets not toys. They can be fast nervous and jumpy.
As for your friend overuling her daughter, why should she?
They are her daughters pets so it wasn't up to her!
Sounds like the daughter made the right decision.

RevoltingPeasant · 22/09/2014 18:19

We once left my gerbils with a neighbour's family over a weekend when I was in my early teens.

Their excitable 6yo boy pulled the end of the tail off one of them.

He wasn't trying to hurt, he just had little sense of animals' delicate bodies, was a bit spoilt, and tried to grab one.

YABU. They are not toys.

littledrummergirl · 22/09/2014 18:28

Ds1 has cavies. I would never tell anyone they could cuddle them. Ds1 adores them and cares for them, he is responsible for their wellbeing. I wont go near them without his permission or invitation.

They are incredibly fragile aninals who should be kept well away from excitable dcs.

YA definitely bu.

hiddenhome · 22/09/2014 18:32

YABU get your own pets Hmm

I had a friend who picked up my hamster before I could prevent her from doing so. It bit her, she dropped it and it broke its leg. I had to have it put down.

Pets aren't cuddly toys ffs.

PixieofCatan · 22/09/2014 18:42

YABU, I think it's really off to offer somebody elses pets to be played with without their permission.

My Mum did this to me when I took my rats home on a visit. I had mentioned that my four young cousins be okay holding them with my supervision and she started hyping them up before I'd gotten there, telling them they could hold my girls (they couldn't, only my boys) and I was seriously unimpressed when I got there to find four kids desperate to hold a rat each.

Pets are not toys. Especially rodents. They must be well supervised and must only be held with the owners permission and supervision. Rodents are more likely to get harmed by children as well and to harm a child, so there is no way in hell I'd let any child I didn't know well hold one of my pets unless I was certain that the parent would heed my rules.