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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not intervene in these circumstances

2 replies

jakesmith · 21/09/2014 19:35

we're on holiday & were walking down the street when a little boy about 7 maybe ran out of a parked campervan across the road chased by what I assumed was his dad. Well the dad caught up with him and went pretty mental, shouting right in his face, making him put his arms flat by his side.

I thought he was going to shout at him about running across the road, but it was more along the lines of "YOUR MOTHER ASKED YOU TO HELP HER AND INSTEAD YOU DECIDED TO GET OFF! WHAT DID YOU DO!? SAY IT!" we were a bit taken aback. We don't have kids & aren't parenting experts so it's a bit hard to tell what is reasonable, also you don't know the context as the kid might have been being a right little shit for the last 7 hours.

Anyway they went back towards the van and we walked on, I thought it was dealt with, a bit unpleasant but done & dusted, anyway he started shouting again as we were a bit further down the road and then when we looked round he was smacking the kid, we couldn't see where as the kid was in the van and the dad was outside but it looked really hard. He did it about 4-5 times then stopped and we were a distance away by now.

We considered going back and trying to intervene but I really didn't know if that was right or would help, we are in a very remote rural area & last time we accidentally called the police (by accidentally setting off our accom's burglar alarm) they took 45 mins to come so police really wasn't a practical option.

What would people have done given the circumstances as set out as I now am questioning whether we did the right thing. Maybe someone that is that way inclined, even if we stopped it without getting assaulted ourselves, probably does it all the time if that's their approach to raising a child. I think he'll get his just deserts as as soon as the kid is old enough to think for himself he'll probably reject all the crap that was beaten into him but anyway what would people do?

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 21/09/2014 19:51

There are two incidents here: whatever caused the row in the first place, and the running out precipitately onto the road.

Bear in mind that a lot of parents who are generally against smacking do smack for traffic issues, because the pain of chastisement is nothing compared to the pain of being hit by a car.

You can't call on the first issue and raised voices.

The physical punishment, if beating, is wrong. But if you were at a distance by that point, can you be sure if it was beating or smacking?

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 21/09/2014 19:57

It's too difficult to comment really unless you are there.

The only time I have smacked my children was when they ran in the road or in another case bit another child.

The behaviour was not repeated,

Still I hate to see children shouted at or worse smacked but sometimes parents panic, especially over road safety, and as said a smack on the arse is a lot better than being hit by a car.

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