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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want a tv in the bedroom?

40 replies

CatFaceCrayola · 20/09/2014 23:05

DH currently has a TV and a PS3 in the bedroom. He likes watching films or programmes at bedtime. They help him get to sleep.

He slept in the spare room for a few weeks whilst I wasn't feeling too well and it's made me realise how much I prefer no tv.
I'm really not a fan of watching tv ever (the complete opposite of DH)

AIBU to want DH to ditch the bedroom tele?

OP posts:
Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 20/09/2014 23:08

We don't have one. (However I now have iPad and I watch film in that. But only when alone. Dh won't have one.)

choirmumoftwo · 20/09/2014 23:11

YANBU. I've never had a TV in the bedroom but fortunatrly, my DH doesn't want one either. I read somewhere that screen time too close to sleep can over stimulatr thr brain and make sleep more difficult. Read a book!

NetballHoop · 20/09/2014 23:13

YANBU
I enjoy watching TV, but we've always agreed no TV in the bedroom.

Any entertainment in the bedroom should be down to us.

FunkyBoldRibena · 20/09/2014 23:15

No, hate TV in the bedroom.

ColdCottage · 20/09/2014 23:26

YANBU.

So much better for sleep without one. Ideally you should just have bed, side lamps and table in your bedroom for a good sleep environment.

Compromise, just bring TV in in a Friday or Saturday night for a movie in bed treat.

Veritata · 20/09/2014 23:30

I read somewhere that screen time too close to sleep can over stimulatr thr brain and make sleep more difficult.

From personal experience, I can vouch for the fact that that's not so. These days I am afraid that I quite often catch up on iPlayer at night, using earphones, and I regularly drop off to sleep while watching.

GreenPetal94 · 20/09/2014 23:30

Never had a TV, surely it has to end in less sex?

BettyFocker · 20/09/2014 23:35

YANBU.

We have one in ours we rarely use. DP will put it on with the intention of watching something in bed. Within two minutes he'll be snoring and I'll have to elbow him to turn it off.

It wouldn't be the worse thing if it broke!

MsVestibule · 20/09/2014 23:36

Love TV, but not in the bedroom! The bedroom is for sleeping and sex. Mainly sleeping.

AlleyCat11 · 20/09/2014 23:38

You're right about the sex, Rainbow. We had no telly, just the screen for Netflix / DVD. Now we've got telly & he stays up late watching it, while I read in bed. It's in the lounge, but I can't stand it. Especially at dinnertime. I like my radio.

ouryve · 20/09/2014 23:39

I prefer to read to sleep.

Kindle Keyboards are surprisingly robust. No idea how many times mine has fallen on the floor in the 3 years I've had it.

crazylady321 · 20/09/2014 23:40

You cant help how you feel on the matter but you got to think of your oh too :)

Personally love having a tv in my bedroom, since oh moved in with me and brought his big plasma screen for living room my modest 32" has gone in my bedroom feel so relaxed in there once kids are in bed. Can relate to your oh alot because both me and oh like to fall asleep to tv or music

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 20/09/2014 23:43

If he has always had the tv on to fall asleep to then YWBU to expect him to stop. I needsome noise or tv to help me to switch off and really struggle to fall asleep without it. DH understands as its always been that way and we have been together over eleven years.

If you want a dark and silent room then maybe make a more permanent move into the spare room?

Fanjango · 20/09/2014 23:53

Could you Compromise with him using a laptop or tablet to watch catchup tv or on demand? He could use earphones. Not ideal but better.

Scrumbled · 21/09/2014 00:27

Yabu to unilaterally decide to ditch it but you do need to discuss reasonable use and how it affects you both.

I enjoy lots of TV shows and have a tv in our room. It's the only other room that we can connect the other sky box to. It's not frequently used but there are times that I'd miss the option.

I've had a few hangovers with Saturday Kitchen on. The odd Friday show that's too crap even for me, but the rest of the household love. I retire with some red wine and a programme that I've previously recorded up there. Bliss.

Somedays I go to bed and sleep, others I read. There's the odd day when we both fall into bed early and watch a comedy.

I can't fall asleep with noise and light, the TV on when I wanted to sleep would drive me nuts. I can't sleep until it is off. My husband frequently falls asleep downstairs for several cat naps I'm the evening but then wakes early. It does annoy me when he complains abut the hour he woke up, and I have to point out that he had had 2 hours on the sofa before he even got to bed. He can sleep through anything, he snores in between sentences. It's odd ;)

Some evenings I kick him awake when he's properly drifting off on the sofs and order him to bed, he switches the tv on upstairs and falls asleep. I go up later and watch for a bit, or switch it off. It happens to suit both our sleep patterns. I'm the one that can't sleep with noise but IMO the night owl that will drop off last.

If it doesn't work you nee tom come to an agreement.

TheNewStatesman · 21/09/2014 00:34

"From personal experience, I can vouch for the fact that that's not so. These days I am afraid that I quite often catch up on iPlayer at night, using earphones, and I regularly drop off to sleep while watching."

The plural of anecdote is not evidence.

Also, the problem with TVs and screens in the bedroom is not just quantity of sleep but QUALITY of sleep. There is strong evidence that even people who "fall asleep with the TV on" tend to sleep less deeply and get poorer quality of sleep.

This happens even with individuals who swear blind that they do just great with TV in the bedroom (in much the same way that drink-driving and multitasking have negative effects on everyone's behavior, even though a lot of people insist that "No, seriously, I drive just as well after a few drinks/while talking on the phone!")

edition.cnn.com/2014/06/12/health/junk-sleep-live-longer/

PumpkinBones · 21/09/2014 00:40

I need to have the TV on to fall asleep - I cannot sleep in a dark quiet room. Even on holiday abroad, we have bbc news or a Spanish channel! I really struggle when we go camping.

smokeandglitter · 21/09/2014 00:48

Agree with thenewstatesman, there is evidence to suggest it's not the best. Especially tv which chops and changes a lot. Could you try an audiobook instead as a compromise? It's softer, more consistent and so less likely to disturb sleep and cuts out the flickering light disturbance that TV has.

MrsWinnibago · 21/09/2014 01:32

It doesn't help people fall asleep. People who can't "switch off" have it on because silence feels unnatural to them.

MrsMook · 21/09/2014 02:09

I only had a TV in my room during the student years. DH and I don't have one. I'm much better about going up to bed before crashing out. He frequently falls asleep in front of it. At some point, his sleep is disturbed by needing to turn it off. If I've had to use a relaxation Cd, I often wake at the end because of the change in noise. The difference is it's still dark, and the sound has been deliberately chosen to be relaxing. A lot if late night TV is very far from relaxing.

Sleep hygiene advice is consistently clear about bedrooms being places to sleep and relax in, not entertainment zones filled with distractions.

ItWasMyOwnSilence · 21/09/2014 06:55

YANBU, I am not a fan of TVs in the bedroom either.

But, we do have one, which we only use to watch films on about once every 2 months and most mornings when I stuck Peppa Pig on to keep DD1 quiet so I can grab some more sleep.

Explored · 21/09/2014 07:00

We don't have one and I don't allow them in Dc's bedrooms either.

We like to watch Tv together, downstairs, but not I the bedroom. I can't really put my finger on why it feels so wrong but I do know all the people I know who have really long marriages have never had one (but that might be a generational thing)

Bowlersarm · 21/09/2014 07:00

Yanbu. I hate tvs in bedrooms.

r2d2ismyidealman · 21/09/2014 07:05

I have always agreed with you. Until now. We have moved and bought a new tv and old one has gone into the bedroom. I'm excited about this but it's been there 3 days already and we still haven't used it. I have luxury fantasies of being ill in bed and watching it then. But yes, it can't be used as a sleep aid for one of you if it doesn't also serve that purpose for the other.

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi · 21/09/2014 07:14

I love the TV in our bedroom

It's fantastic for watching things just the two of us now we have some older children/teenagers who want to watch things in the evening downstairs

And we still have plenty of sex and are blissfully happy together Grin