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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect him respect my stuff or pay to replace it??

24 replies

yougotafriend · 20/09/2014 07:58

OH always chooses tumble dryer over line (I'm the opposite) so I empty it last night to find a pair of my linen work pants now 6 inches shorter than they should be..... Grrr....

Apparently this is MY fault as I specifically didn't state "there are linen trousers in the machine please don't put them in the dryer" even though I put the wash on before I went to work and it was already in the dryer when I got home.

OP posts:
Frogisatwat · 20/09/2014 08:02

I always check what can be tumble dried. He was being lazy.

gamerchick · 20/09/2014 08:03

Yell him not to put any of your clothes in the drier .. ever! Then he can't blame you for his fuck up.

LadyLuck81 · 20/09/2014 08:16

We operate a separate pike for stuff that can't be tumbled. I've shrunk his stuff by mistake and he's destruyed mine too. Always accidentally. We still try and check but if we forget the rule and it doesn't work out its our own fault.

Original poster
yougotafriend · 20/09/2014 08:21

I am not suggesting it was deliberate, but surely even accidents deserve an apology. If it was the other way round I'd have apologised immediately and offered to replace!!

Don't want to get to the place where we each do our own washing, but we may have to if he can't apologise

OP posts:
CerealMom · 20/09/2014 08:28

I feel your pain. I now have a separate wash bin for delicates.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/09/2014 08:50

always wash your own clothes

ememem84 · 20/09/2014 08:56

I feel your pain. Dh thought he was helping by washing all my scarves the other day. Most are cotton so no problems. I had a lovely long grey soft soft soft cashmere scarf. I now have, thanks to hot wash and tumble drier, a not quite as soft short piece of grey fabric. Waaaaaa!!!

BathshebaDarkstone · 20/09/2014 09:29

YABU. Tell him to turn off the washing machine and leave the stuff in there. If people aren't used to using washing machines they just go on autopilot. Confused

FunkyBoldRibena · 20/09/2014 09:29

Take the fuse out of the tumble. There is no need this time of year.

pictish · 20/09/2014 09:32

I think he should apologise, but I also think you should let it go at that. It was a genuine human error....an easy mistake to make.

PenisesAreNotPink · 20/09/2014 09:34

If expect to replace accidents out of family money.

If there wasn't any 'family money' because I'd just started going out with him I wouldn't be letting him use my tumble dryer Wink

r2d2ismyidealman · 20/09/2014 09:35

You said you don't want to be in the position of each doing your own laundry but i think that's the perfect solution. In the meantime i wonder if he felt he was doing you a favour and was expecting thanks from you. Then it went wrong and he's hiding his head in the sand due to the unexpected emotional complexity resulting from such a simple act.

TheMaddHugger · 20/09/2014 10:09

you put washing on and went to work without it being finished yet? did he need the washer in the day?

(not judging you, I am notorious for having my washing in the washer and leaving it there)

Original poster
yougotafriend · 20/09/2014 10:57

I always but a wash on then go to work. I work ft, just not in the house long enough and with 2 teenagers too much washing to only wash when I'm at home.... Is that bad?? Never thought about it before.

Anyway, he has now apologised (by text) so I will take advice and let it go

OP posts:
TheMaddHugger · 20/09/2014 11:02

well honestly It isnt fab for the garments, especially Cotton and silks. To sit that long in a damp state

I made my teens do their own washing. but that also meant I had to make sure MY washing was not hogging the washer

Original poster
yougotafriend · 20/09/2014 11:23

Will have to work out a new washing routine I think

OP posts:
gamerchick · 20/09/2014 20:24

There's also a fire risk from washing machines.. Some insurance company's don't pay out on washing machines, dishwasher, driers and what have you if hey are left on unattended.

gamerchick · 20/09/2014 20:33

Of no bloody help at all I know when you work loads.

wingcommandergallic · 20/09/2014 20:36

I try to put my washer on overnight so I can peg out washing before I go to work.

I gave up using tumble dryer for anything other than sheets and towels as it shrunk so many clothes over time.

Bulbasaur · 20/09/2014 22:43

When I was a teen my parents had me do laundry. Their clothes always ended up in the dryer and they always yelled about it. It didn't solve anything, even losing allowance money to pay for new pants didn't stop it. Eventually they just did their own loads.

I have no advice. Maybe have him put sticky note on the dryer not to dry your clothes and hope the note doesn't soon turn into a piece of the environment.

strawberryangel · 21/09/2014 00:32

I can't imagine living in a family home where everyone does their own laundry. Doesn't it create problems? For example, I only own a couple of white tops and a couple of sets of white underwear, so when I do a white wash I put them in with the kids school shirts and some of DH's work shirts. Would some of you run a nearly empty machine?

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 21/09/2014 06:37

Some of you seem to house share rather live as a family unit.

A true MN phenomenon

MintyCoolMojito · 21/09/2014 06:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

petalsandstars · 21/09/2014 06:49

His responsibility to replace them as he should have checked the labels and know not everything can get tumble dried

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