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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think she lost the moral high ground here?

21 replies

chorltonrocks · 19/09/2014 07:48

So on Facebook this morning (yes, I know, sorry) someone has started a discussion asking for opinions on a playdate their child went on. On this playdate their child and their friend went to the park in the company of only a 13 year old. The mum who posted on Facebook has never met the 13 year old and hadn't been asked if it was ok. She is clearly very pissed off. She is slagging the other mum off for being 'rough' and her partner has also jumped in with how it's lucky for the other mum that he isn't going to have a word with her. Other parents are gleefully joining in. I should add that this discussion is taking place on the page of someone who isn't on my friend's list so their privacy settings are shit.

Aibu to think that's a really shitty thing to do? The playdate mum may well have been out of order (after all I don't know how old the younger kids are or where the park in question is) but dragging her through the mud on Facebook with such unnecessary personal comments and without even having checked facts with her first is horrible isn't it? Especially when it's clear that everyone can see it?

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 19/09/2014 07:50

Yanbu

HeySoulSister · 19/09/2014 07:50

It's Facebook.... Isn't that to be expected? It's what Facebook is for, and why it's so popular

CombineBananaFister · 19/09/2014 07:54

She's going to see it sooner or later so their big words will be coming back to haunt them no doubt. I do thinks it's incredibly unfair when people are personally attacked on FB or when people put those stupid passive aggressive e-cards proclaiming to be pissed off with something but not naming who. I just can't stand the whole airing of dirty laundry in public tbh - makes me cringe.
I think this seems to be what facebook is for these days though - slagging people off you aren't mature enough to have an adult conversation with Sad yanbu

PumpkinsMummy · 19/09/2014 07:55

yep, horrible....but entirely predictable and expected on FB, which is why I'm not on it.

BobPatandIgglePiggle · 19/09/2014 07:57

Keyboard warriors. That is all.

Original poster
chorltonrocks · 19/09/2014 07:58

I agree combine, Facebook and Twitter can be a dangerous weapon. It doesn't have to be like that though, I don't use Facebook maliciously and don't have anyone on my friend's list who does either.

OP posts:
OwlCapone · 19/09/2014 07:58

She is slagging the other mum off for being 'rough'

And slagging someone off on Facebook is the very epitome of culture and sophistication.

YANBU. I would judge her more than the other mother TBH.

Goldmandra · 19/09/2014 08:00

FB can be great when people use it to keep in touch and share their news and thoughts. Sadly it also serves very well as a mouthpiece for those who like to spew vitriol and indirect threats but I tend to weed people out of my friends list very quickly at the first hint of that.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 19/09/2014 08:01

Well I have FB and so do all my friends and family and we don't act like this.

It's not FB chick it's just that some people have zero manners.

They probably brawl in the street too.

Pinkje · 19/09/2014 08:02

Have to say it is the sort of slagging off you see here on Mumsnet every day.

Original poster
chorltonrocks · 19/09/2014 08:07

Indeed pinkje and in a way I'm doing the same thing - but at least all parties are anonymous here. It will no doubt be abundantly clear exactly who the discussion is about on Facebook.

OP posts:
GilesGirl · 19/09/2014 08:09

And anyone else who is 'anonymous' on here could be someone who is reading that same thing on Facebook right now.

Still feel anonymous?

Original poster
chorltonrocks · 19/09/2014 08:13

Oh indeed I do giles, as I say the person who posted the discussion isn't on my friend's list. It would take a fair bit of detective work to find out who I am. I could be any friend of one of her Facebook friends. I am sort of hoping she sees this though and has the kind of stomach churning moment the other mum may well have had if she saw the Facebook discussion.

OP posts:
Cardriver · 19/09/2014 08:19

The parents were right to be pissed off but very unreasonable to put stuff on Facebook.

VikingLady · 19/09/2014 08:28

Keyboard warriors - I love that!

hormonalandneedingcheese · 19/09/2014 09:38

YANBU, loads of times I see this, people just can't see the irony. I've seen that sort of thing too: 'She's so rough and chavy' one minute and 'i'll kick the shit out of her' the next- coming across a bit Jeremy Kyle and rough yourself.

The saddest was an acquaintance who had been called into school and told in a very subtle was that her child was a bully. Her response was to rant about the teacher being a bit and how she'd go and 'kick her head in' and tell her what a bitch she was.' I defriended her, my friend (working in the teachers school) screencapped and sent to the head before deleting. She lost about 10 friends that day, she couldn't see that everyone thought her son was a bully and they could see why and where he got it.

Playdate mum should have told twatty mum but twatty mum lost the moral high ground and sunk in the mud! As for her friends- birds of a feather and all. Sheep.

Original poster
chorltonrocks · 19/09/2014 11:12

Hormonala, that sounds really extreme! It didn't quite reach that level luckily.

OP posts:
LadyLuck10 · 19/09/2014 11:15

Sounds very entertaining lol.

Original poster
chorltonrocks · 19/09/2014 11:38

I do feel a bit curtain twitchy reading it. How gutted would you be to read that if you were the play date mum though?!

OP posts:
hormonalandneedingcheese · 19/09/2014 11:42

chorltonrocks, that and volatile pretty much describes my ex acquaintance.

winkywinkola · 19/09/2014 11:54

FB isn't meant for attacking and slagging off other people no.

Silly mare should have a chat with the other mother instead of washing her dirty linen in public.

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