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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to send dd to school with a cold. urgent please

50 replies

LEMmingaround · 19/09/2014 07:47

She desperately wants to go. Despite the streaming nose. Slightly raised temperature and sneeze sneeze sneeze.

Normally this is a no brainer. Id send her to school.

The problem i have is that my friend's dc isin the same class and my friend is quite seriously immuno-compromised at the moment. Has only come out of hospital last week when she had septicaemia :(

I genuinely don't know what to do. Dd was crying last night when i suggested no school. I just don't feel i can send her knowing she will have close contact with my friends dc.

Wwyd??

If my friend got sick and further complications id never forgive myself but realistically, dd will have picked up the cold from school. May well have already been infectious yesterday and other kids may have it (or other infections). Its just that i KNOW my child is unwell and i KNOW how poorly my friend is.

OP posts:

SugarPlump · 19/09/2014 08:08

Er what pnut? Unless you like me miss read that as the child being the one who's been in hospital not the parent why should child who's fit and well not go to school in the favour of poorly one?!

Your friend's child child may well have already been around your daughter and other children with the infection but it's one thing not knowing your child might be introducing a serious risk and almost doing it deliberately because you could take steps to prevent it.

Normally I'd say with a cold send her but regardless of your friend I'm not sure I'd send her with a temperature anyway. It's lovely she wants to go but she might not realise how much her own body is fighting the infection and how tired that will make her!

Does she know your friend. Can you explain that you've been very worried about your friend and how it's really important she doesn't get poorly again? How old is she? I'm sure she wouldn't like seeing one of her friends poorly, and explain that by not going she's helping x's mum get better?! It's one day, she can go back after the weekend.

Not sure it's right to send her.

AnotherStitchInTime · 19/09/2014 08:09

I have sent dd1 (5) with a cold and temp like that this week. Thing is if you have too many sick days the school start having problems with your child's attendance. If your child gets really ill later in the school year then taking the odd day of for a cold might be looked at negatively.

Original poster

LEMmingaround · 19/09/2014 08:13

Im going to keep her home. I just hope its gone by monday. So difficult to know what to do. Usually im of the opinion its just a cold get on with it but my friend is really poorly and going to have chemo today which will knock her immune system even more so dd can stay home i think.

OP posts:

eddielizzard · 19/09/2014 08:13

if a child has a temp she should stay at home.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 19/09/2014 08:14

Mind you impressed she likes school so much

ProbablyMe · 19/09/2014 08:15

I wouldn't send a child with a temperature. However, re the comments about Septacaemia - my DS4 has had it 3 times and had many, many more hospital admissions for infections and generally he's back at school pretty quickly!

treadheavily · 19/09/2014 08:15

Jeez just keep her home. She'll kick it more quickly with nice mummy care

Original poster

LEMmingaround · 19/09/2014 08:15

Another stitch my dd has 99% and 100% attendance in the last few terms. I couldn't give a hoot about attendance tables really. God forbid that she did ever get really poorly.

OP posts:

Seeline · 19/09/2014 08:16

IF your DC has a temperature, it is not just a cold. I normally send my DCs to school with a cold, but not if they have a temperature. Whilst I appreciate the situation with your friend, the school cannot keep every child with a sniffle off school. My DCs classes are both full of kids with colds at the moment - I think it is the shock of going back to school!!
Stay at home with a temperature, otherwise send them in.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 19/09/2014 08:20

Another that's mad. If a child is ill they are ill. A cold yes you can cope and carry on but not a temp.

My dd had under the attendance for 3 years running. She was off every time for serious illness/appointments.

The school know and are fine.

The attendance records are to catch the ones who are always off or to focus on the problem families.

But if you are ill you shouldn't be in school.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/09/2014 08:22

A fever is said by the nhs to be 37.5, as it is 37.6 and she is probably still warm from being in bed, it really only just scrapes in as a fever and I think most people have a slightly raised one with colds.

tiggytape · 19/09/2014 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wheresthelight · 19/09/2014 08:26

sorry but the raised temperature would be the deciding factor I am afraid - no school! I'll friend or not!!

divingoffthebalcony · 19/09/2014 08:28

I would send a child school with a cold if they were well in themselves but were snotty/coughing.

I wouldn't send a child with a temp and constant sneezing. That sort of thing makes me feel absolutely dreadful AND the sneezing will spread the virus to everyone in the class.

SugarPlump · 19/09/2014 08:29

It's very sad, anotherstich that your more worried about one percent attendance than a child's health, OP's Dd has a temperature, is unwell, or another persons life. But this what this government has done!

Why should a child who's immune system is battling an infection pretty hard be in school?!

Oh for the days when it was up to the parents to decide and send a note in on the child's return!

Original poster

LEMmingaround · 19/09/2014 08:32

Sorry i didnt make myself clear - it is the mum who is unwell not the child. Dd is happy on sofa with mango hedgehog so i think i made the right decision.

OP posts:

hackmum · 19/09/2014 08:33

Look: there will be lots of children in school with colds and other infections. If it's going round, your friend's child will probably pick it up - and unfortunately there's a chance they'll pass it on to your friend. I think it's kind of you to consider your friend but I don't think it will make much difference either way.

Minikievs · 19/09/2014 08:37

I'd let her know out of politeness, but I would send her into school. My mum used to send my sister and me into school even if we were bleeding from the eyes and practically in a coma. I'm afraid that has rubbed off on both of us and we very rarely ring in sick to work and I practically always send my DC to nursery/school.
(Not trying to be Mrs Martyr, just pointing out that it's been instilled in us that you go in at practically all costs. Which is sometimes a ridiculous notion, but we can't change our mindset after all these years)

SugarPlump · 19/09/2014 08:37

Oh I think you did, lemming, your dd may actually be grateful for a day off to recover herself when she feels tired.

To hack mum and the others making the point that other children will have the virus and their parents won't be quite so considerate as OP, but even taking op's friend out of the decision her daughter is poorly enough to have a temperature and would be better out of school!

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 19/09/2014 08:38

If a child is sick I would keep her home, no matter how much the school whined about attendance records.

It is very selfish to send sick children into school to spread germs around. NOt fair on the already overworked teachers either to have to play nurse as well.

MrsWinnibago · 19/09/2014 08:40

It annoys me so much. People sending sick DC to school. We've had a horrible virus and my year 6 DD has had to have 3 days off this week. I know some people woulod have sent her in on the third day but as far as I was concerned she was still low and I wanted to be certain that she wasn't contagious.

So maddening.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 19/09/2014 08:42

Think you made the right decision op and hope little one is better soon.

Siarie · 19/09/2014 08:42

Why send her to school when sick even if she wants to go? She will just spread it to the other children which is unfair?!

That's just like when people go to work sick, infect others who then have to use sick pay or worse.

AnotherStitchInTime · 19/09/2014 10:18

I know sugar, but unfortunately that is the reality of the education system these days. LEM glad you made the right call for your child. None of us can see her and you know her best.

Original poster

LEMmingaround · 19/09/2014 11:39

Currently listening to intermittent wahoos from dd's bedroom

OP posts:

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