School not letting Reception Yr parents past the school gate.

[WideAwakeNow]

DS started school last week and we still have tears and him clinging to my leg like a limpet every morning at drop off. Seeing him this morning trying to contain his sobs on the walk to school was heartbreaking.

On his first day parents were told that we could take them into the classroom and help them find their peg etc. from that point on we have not been allowed past the school entrance for either pick up or drop off. After school the teacher brings them out and they can go out of the gate when they see us and teacher does too. This is in quite a constricted space with 60 parents all jostling each other to spot their kid . Teacher is some distance back from gate so it is impossible to have a word with her. All communication is through a 'home/school book'.

It's the mornings that I have a real problem as apparently some of the Yr 6s are supposed to 'help' the DC to their classrooms, some of them sobbing like DS, with a few teachers standing around at the gate. On his 2nd morning, there were no Yr 6s around to take DS so a teacher he did not know directed him to walk in on his own whilst sobbing. I saw this from the gate and had to go in and ask them to send an adult to make sure DS had got to his class OK because I was worried about him getting lost.

When I have queried why little 4 year olds are having to make their own way through the school into class without a parent (along a long corridor, then outside, and then through another corridor) I was told it was due to 'health and safety'.

I am getting seriously pissed off with it now as I want to able to take DS into his classroom, help him sort himself out (they have to change shoes into indoor shoes and he does not do them up properly so comes out with shoes half on as well) and say goodbye knowing he is settled. This is what I have done with my 3 older DC at other schools and is the norm for Reception DC IME. I do not remember this being mentioned at the 'taster' sessions and just took it for granted I would be taking him into at least the playground in the morning.

FFS parents have waited in the playground for their DC for millennia! Is there really such an increased risk these days that no parent is allowed beyond the school gate!

This the school that sent my DS home with a turd in his book bag (they did apologise).

So AIBU and should I complain. None of the other parents are complaining even though there are plenty of other upset DC at drop off. How come it is just me that thinks this wrong and just a ploy so the teachers don't to have to deal with anxious parents which is surely par for the course?

30 adults in a cloakroom causes chaos.

Some parents still insist on bringing 8 and 9 year olds into our school and helping them unpack their bags and put their coats away. They then wave at them through the classroom door while the kids sit down for register!!! Ridiculous. Maybe your school wants to avoid this, wish ours did.

Although I think there is some reasoning behind parents not being allowed in the classrooms, the experience you have had of this school in a week or two would be enough for me to look at moving my dc

Our school you are allowed to take the dc in to the reception classroom, but I would just stand at the door and watch my ds's sort their stuff out

Ds1 was very independent and fully able to sort his stuff out

Ds2 started school at 4.3 and was very very slow and would need some prompting

Parents in the classroom became an issue on my eldest class when it was about three months in and lots of parents were still spending a lot of time in there in the mornings. The teacher told the class they could get a house point each if their parents did not come in. This seemed to help! I don think at this point the children needed the parents to come in and help I think the parents were doing in for theirselves

However as I said in your situation I would be looking at moving my dc

Parents in the playground/cloakroom/classroom can be very obstructive, and unfortunately a surprising number of parents resent seeing their child develop independence; really!
Your child is young and does need a bit more support to go into school; write this in the home/school book and ask for a brief appointment to talk to the teacher or TA to make a suitable arrangement.
And teach him how to change his shoes.

I think that sounds awful. My ds is in Y3 and parents are still encouraged to spend the first 15 mins in the classroom. It makes parents feel part of the school and my ds loves showing me his work etc.

It does sound a bit mean, I wouldn't like it either.
DS1 has just started reception, parents were allowed in the classroom for the first week and it was awful, far too many people!
Now we are allowed in the playground and drop off at thr door, ds does sometimes go in crying but he's met by a TA or taken in by his teacher if he cries. I then at the back of the playground and leave as soon as I see him sat down and stopped crying (this usually takes about two minutes). However there are some parents who go right up to the classroom window and tap on it waving at the kids and even one who was shouting instructions to her daughter ("PUT YOUR WATER BOTTLE OVER THERE!"). The children are supposed to be sat on the carpet doing phonics and of course half the class stand up to have a look at the helicopter parent at the window. It would piss me off if I was the teacher, perhaps there's just been too many parents like that op.

My DD wanted to go in on her own from the first day of the second week, which I allowed. The teacher would meet them all at the gate and if the parents wanted to go in they could. My DD came out upset one day because a parent had knocked her to the floor in the corridor/cloakroom with a huge handbag. There was no space for that many adults and children and it was a health and safety nightmare. A week later, parents were stopped at the gate and the children went in alone.

I'm really sorry about your son. It sounds like a stressful situation. But the school has an entire class to consider.

at our school they all line up in the playground and go in together with their teacher and TA leading the nervous (sobbing) ones by the hand... yesterday they were a snake - hissing and following the one in front closely !

Parents have to stay behind a far away line - and are "herded" there by the head and management team. It works well - and gives the added advantage that you can see who "those" parents are. The ones who try to speak to their child's teacher EVERY day.

It has always been stated - from BEFORE day 1, that if you want to speak to your child's teacher you communicate that via the office and they will come out to you - in the office, not the playground - before line up - so you have to make the effort to be there early if it is important enough to need face to face rather than a post-it put in their paperwork for the day. Most people manage to follow that rule.

That is so sad, your poor ds. The school my dgc goes to allows parent/carer to take Reception/Nursery children into the classroom where a TA greets them and marks them in. At hometime we wait in the playground and all KS1 pupils are brought to the door and released when their 'picker up' is seen. If any child has a problem the teacher or TA calls the parent over and explains. When ds1 had hurt his head by running into a tree I was shown the injury, told what treatment he had had and given the green form. Anything serious then either his mum, the cm or I is telephoned.
Your experience is shocking.

In Australia so different. But in Kindy and Pre Primary ( nursery , then reception) parents are encouraged to take the child into the class where they read a book or do a simple puzzle together. Parent then leaves. We are allowed to wait outside their class at the end of the day. In fact the child is not allowed out of the class unless they have a responsible adult waiting for them and they are on the childs pick up list.
The system works well, in fact I'm still allowed to walk my kids into the classroom now. They are year 3 and 5

My Ds2 has just started YR. We're encouraged at the moment to take them into the classroom and stay for a few minutes to settle them, with the expectation that this lessens over the year. From Y1 onwards they line up in the playground and parents are not allowed into the classrooms, but parents remain responsible for them until the bell goes, then a teacher/TA takes them inside. At the moment they are still on short sessions so are brought to the school gate and released to a parent at pick up, when they finish at normal time we'll be going to their classroom ( ground floor, opening on to the playground)
I think the arrangements in the OP reflects v poorly on the school's pastoral care, both in terms of reassuring little ones as they start school and on building relationships between home and school.
not to mention the poo

That is crap.

Agree with poster up thread about the health and safety crap.

Write to head. Speak to ther parents and ask parent forum.

Crucial to get his right for children or starting school adult carries on badly. No reason why you can't hand over to teacher in playground. They are only tiny!

My DC school expect parents or the adult dropping them off to take the reception DC into the cloak room and then get the sorted in the classroom. If they are in the breakfast club its a member of staff who watched several DC but they go first before the rush.

It wasn't always easy as it very busy and I had younger DC in toe - and youngest was soon happy to say goodbye in the cloakroom just outside the class room. It worked however.

In Yr 1 it the same for the first few weeks then they encourage the DC to go in by themselves.

DN school parents are on the playground DC line up when teacher comes out with a bell and then they get led in - that happens from reception.

I think I'd be worried that this is part of a pattern of them not liking parents in the school - there was a school where we used to live where parents found they were rarely allowed inside it and found communication with the school difficult - it was rated well by Ofsted by unpopular locally.

DD's school lets reception parents in before school, the kids can show you their peg, you can help them change reading books etc etc. Then you encourage them back into the playground to play, and when the bell goes, they line up and go in, no parents allowed in the classroom. Year 1, no parents allowed in classroom at all. However, they are not that strict - DD lost a school jumper and I went in to help look when I picked her up.
Teachers available in the playground before and after school for chats. Parents wait in the playground, teachers send children out from the classroom when they see you.

However, it is a small village school (60 kids total). No pavement outside school so parents have to wait in the playground or block the only road in the village. Not many children means not many parents in the room and many of the children know each other and the parents beforehand so it's not intimidating, it's very warm and friendly. Thank goodness.

My children attend the same schools (one infants one junior) that I did.
When I went to the Infants we were left at the gate to go up alone, now we have to take them to the door in reception and the playground for key stage one.
At the juniors we leave them at the gate like we have always done, makes liads of sense and we are then able to run the little ones round to the Infant school. DD is in reception aged 4.10 and is always asking why she can't go up from the gate like DS does.
As long as the kids get a cuddke and a kiss I don't think it matters where you say good bye.

We have to take them to their classrooms in infant school. I once got told off for dropping mine at the door when she was in the last year of infant school.

Not allowed in the classroom in junior school which is understandable but I have never heard of an infant school not allowing it. They like us to read to them in the morning and look through their work. We are even encouraged to eat breakfast with them as they all get free breakfast in infant school so my dd ends up eating two breakfasts a day.

Is this FPS?

That sounds a bit harsh tbh, esp as he's so little and obviously distressed. How is he meant to feel secure quickly, when that's happening every morning? Very puzzled at the teachers not doing something to help, as it can't be fun having to deal with upset kids every morning.

At DS's school we can go in for 15 minutes to read a book, or help them write their name in their book. The kids who've been in breakfast club are either gathered up by other parents for a story or the TAs. The tambourine rings and if you haven't already left you go then - there's some chaos, but some kids want to be left and other kids appreciate the extra a time. We almost had tears this morning for the first time, because he's so knackered and "homesick" but those 15 minutes saved our bacon, and he was telling me to go.

Turdgate is just vile. In the book bag?! Seriously? Where's the H&S in that??

I don't like parents inside the buildings. Because you're not just talking about 30 extra adults. There will be ones with the younger children in buggies, the older children off sick, the ones where mum and dad both come in, or perhaps granny is visiting and wants to come in too.. Ime cloakrroms are fairly small even for 30 infant sized children. Adding 30+ extra people would be seriously problematic.

And you're now thinking "these big year 1 children... He'll be fine to go in when he's as big as them". Let me assure you, that next year, if you have taken him in this year, that you would feel exactly the same way. And in year 2... etc
Dd1 is year 9 and I still feel "oh she's so little to do X". The thing is they're still your baby, and the older children always took bigger, more confident, rougher etc. even when they aren't really.
Thers' probably a mother of a 3yo who has been eyeing up your dc and thinking how grown up he is, and how he should be expected to behave so much better.

We were allowed into classrooms and to read with them until year 2 (for about 15 mins). All the way through the school we are allowed into school, but not really meant to go to pegs after year 2 (though plenty do). I rarely see a crying child and for the few that struggle or where parents need to rush off the parents are free to do a quick good-bye. I prefer this to your school's approach - it seems harsh when they are so little.

I agree with you. In my dd's school parents were allowed into the classroom for the whole year. 20 mins allocated for this purpose, so not everyone turned up at once, and it was fine. You could take them in, get them engaged with an activity, and make a sharp exit once they were distracted! Much less traumatic IMO.

We are allowed into the playground with them, or you can pop into the class if you need to see the teacher. They know where to line up and the teacher meets them at their line.

At the end of the day the teacher brings them out.

Making parents stand behind a line is weird but i'm guessing something happened to made them decide to so this.