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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to visit schools during open days?

19 replies

Pariba · 18/09/2014 14:23

dd is due to start school next year and so I've been casually thinking about our options and tried to book in to have a look around.

3 out of the 4 schools told me there were set open days coming up and that is when I will be allowed to visit. . I feel a bit.. annoyed.

I don't want to see the schools on a day they've no doubt prepped big time for, all kids on best behaviour etc. I want to see a normal day at the school, to get a feel for what it's really like.

A friend told me she went on an open day and walked through to a classroom that had been mysteriously missed out on tour ..only to find all the naughty kids being hidden away in there! (??small village, known trouble makers but I wasn't there so who knows!)

OP posts:
RoganJosh · 18/09/2014 14:24

It's better than high school when the open day is an evening. Our local one is, anyway.

SaucyJack · 18/09/2014 14:26

You must know YABU. There may be hundreds of prospective parents. Of course you can't all pop in for a nosy at separate times.

NellysKnickers · 18/09/2014 14:26

Imagine if all parents of prospective parents just wanted to turn up whenever they fancy. Chaos. YABU.

allmycats · 18/09/2014 14:27

I would want to visit on the open day AND on a normal day to get a true picture.

VacantExpression · 18/09/2014 14:27

I went to open days at all my local schools when my DC's were starting and got all the information I needed from them, give them a try and then arrange to go back another time if needed maybe?

whois · 18/09/2014 14:28

Are you talking about a £30k per year boarding school? If so you defo should go and have a tour on a normal school day.

Talking about your local state school then you're having a total giraffe. How entitled to think that you are so precious that the school should waste time and resource on showing you around when they hold an open day for this purpouse.

SillyBub · 18/09/2014 14:29

That's precisely the reason why my children's school doesn't do open days/evening.

This is pasted directly from the prospectus:
We do not hold special Open Days for prospective parents but ask you to contact the school office to arrange a time to come and meet the Headteacher and look around the school. We dont want to put on a special show we want you to see our school and learning as it is every day. This will allow you to make your decision as to whether xxx Primary is the school for your child.

GertrudeTheMongrel · 18/09/2014 14:29

I understand your frustration. But are you and your children special in any way? If not, you'll just have to do it like the rest of us.

Or go private.

steppemum · 18/09/2014 14:29

I sort of agree with you, but having visited a lot of schools in the last few years, I think you can get quite a good idea from the open day. Once the open day is past, you can then ring up and ask to visit, and they can't fob you off!

SillyBub · 18/09/2014 14:34

You must know YABU. There may be hundreds of prospective parents. Of course you can't all pop in for a nosy at separate times.

The school I referred to ^^ has 120 pupils in each year, so there's a whole heap of prospective parents shown round. All requests for visits are accomodated and the parents are shown round in small groups. It's touches like this that make you warm to a school.

Original poster
Pariba · 18/09/2014 14:35

wow! some of these replies are so mean! of course I don't believe we deserve special treatment etc, but working in an environment which works with the likes of OFSTED, I'm fully aware of the great performances even the worst of settings can put on.

OP posts:
FlipFlopWaddle · 18/09/2014 14:35

We made a few appointments to view our local schools. School 1 arranged for us to meet the nursery teacher who was happy to show us around. We asked about the rest of the school and she phoned down and the head came up to meet us and also seemed happy to show us round. He was clearly proud of the school and knew all of the children, as we walked though they seemed genuinely pleased to see him.

School 2 kept us waiting for a good 15 minutes after our appointment time, then admitted all of the regular staff were on training that day so they eventually found a supply teacher to show us round. The same school send out bright shiny prospectuses and seemed shocked when we chose school 1, as places there are 'highly sought after' and 'aren't we lucky to live in catchment?' Hmm

So no YABU, I'm really glad that we didn't rely on shiny prospectuses and open days. I love the school we chose and can't imagine sending dd anywhere else Smile

Original poster
Pariba · 18/09/2014 14:36

Sillybub, I like how that school works. I'd be happy with that.

OP posts:
GertrudeTheMongrel · 18/09/2014 14:40

Well, you are annoyed, and likely to stay that way as I can't see the schools making exception.

I'm guessing PFB? You will have to get used to a lot more standardised treatment of you and your DD are going to get through school

steppemum · 18/09/2014 14:41

One local secondary did small open mornings, you had to book in, small groups of parents (and kids) everyone met the head, then guided tour by older children. They ran loads of them through september, so the school could never be on its 'best behaviour' but still enough structure to allow for everyone to visit. Seemed like a good solution.

QuintessentiallyQS · 18/09/2014 14:43

You dont want your child to go to a school that lets strangers in to wander around at will. Trust me on that.

TeenAndTween · 18/09/2014 14:57

Most schools don't have adults with so much spare time that they can show prospective parents round individually.

The HT / DH should be busy in the school, doing things for the benefit of current pupils. Admin/office function is often covered by 1 or 2 people only who are pretty busy, and may not both be there all the time. They cannot leave the phones/medical room/front office unattended to show prospective parents round at random times.

Even on a tour you will see useful stuff, and be able to ask things:

  • how rowdy are the classes
  • what are the displays like (only the best stuff, or a range from children of all abilities)
  • ask how phonics is taught
  • ask what reading schemes are used
  • do children seem polite and engaged
  • if a child walks by in the corridor, do they barge past you? does the teacher showing you round acknowledge them

imo A school doing organised tours is just making good use of resources, not trying to hide stuff.

Littleturkish · 18/09/2014 15:05

We do an open eve and then show parents and children round during the day.

The very idea of hiding 'naughty kids' is laughable. I'm so pleased I don't teach somewhere like that.

Just call and ask to see if they will accommodate you.

Lonecatwithkitten · 18/09/2014 15:07

On open days you are much more likely to be shown round by a year 6 child who will always be far more candid than any member of staff will be.

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