Small unreasonable things that annoy you

[WalkingWolf]

Here are mine...

My mum putting hair clips in DDs hair.

Fil is obsessed with mowing our lawn in the summer. Of course it's lovely of him to do but he never tells me he's coming and just let's himself in. Really winds me up and I have no idea why.

Another Fil one. Whenever he comes over, if there are any dirty dishes in the sink, he insists on washing them. You can't stop him. The problem is that he doesn't actually wash them. He kind of dips them in the dirty water they've been soaking in, then puts them straight on the drainer.

Of course I wouldn't ever complain about these things and I'm definitely BU to be annoyed.

So tell me about the small things that shouldn't annoy you, but do.

People who don't know how to use "cue" and "queue", i.e. "and queue her turning on the water works...". I also detest people saying "on route". It's FRENCH. EN ROUTE. Argh!

People who misuse "literally". "It was hilarious, I was literally pissing myself laughing!" Literally? Would you like a mop?

People emptying the kettle at work and then not filling it when they're finished.

I'm pretty much in a state of constant irritation throughout the day

I know what you mean cherry but, to be fair, 'on route' makes sense in English. Or at least, it does to me.

I hate people who use disingenuous then they mean naive. It happens a lot on here and it's always in a snarky context.

I've never pulled them up, but one day...

People who say 'Maccy D's'. I know the burger is called a Big Mac, but the company is called McDonalds not MacDonalds, so 'Maccy D's' irrationally gets on my tits.

Tommy K is another one that makes me cringe.

People who don't know that sulphur and brimstone are synonyms and sorry

The software on this site, how difficult would it be to number posts? Make it a lot easier to reference other posts, save huge amounts of scrolling.

People who don't check whether their opinions are facts before claiming they are.

My otherwise lovely neighbour who peers through my window before knocking.

husband chucking his keys and wallet and phone on the sofa just to let me know he's been out working.

the word diagnostics

cups of tea

the words meal, product, selection, topping, market fresh and other bollocky expressions like that.

people at work who are so fucking noisy all the time, which obviously means they're doing the best job in the world so everyone needs to know about it. thank god it's international punch a colleague day soon

old episodes of family guy - pre the proper lois voiceover woman and pre mila kunis

i need to get out more

"Flowery
"needs done" is Scots, and is a dialect expression."

Well there you go, you learn something everyday don't you?! I take back my irritation in those circumstances.

Bold fail sorry

People tapping their feet to their music when on the tube. The vibrations from their tapping go up my legs, it's very annoying.

People who leave their mobile phone on and go away from their desk so we all have to listen to it ringing a million times while they are away.

My DH tidying things away that I've deliberately left out to remind me I need to do something with it.

My DH leaning over the sink when he brushes his teeth (we have one sink, I need to access it too, his head is blocking it)

My FIL barely helping around the house. My MIL takes up the slack so it's not like I do more as a result but it still annoys me.

"baba" for baby.

My neighbours bin. You are supposed to put it on your own property with the handles facing the street for the bin men. He puts his on the pavement, at an angle with the handles facing (roughly) his own house.

I never walk past his house but it enrages me that people have to scootch past and buggys will have to go in the road and the bin men will take half a second longer to grab hold of it.

Sometimes if I'm out after dark I straighten it up.

He also leaves it at a mad angle for about 4 days after bin day.

Oh, and the way some supermarkets have an aisle labelled 'Meal Solutions', as though your dinner was some insoluble problem in Higher Maths.

The adjectives on menus in crappy restaurants - 'sea-fresh prawns covered in tangy Marie-Rose sauce on a bed of crispy lettuce', followed by 'succulent pan-fried steak served with tasty, hand-cut chips and garden-fresh vegetables.' And 'why not finish up with something sweet, and a little bit naughty?' Aargh.

People who say 'Busy' with a martyred look when you ask how they are, and then recount why in mind-numbing detail, like the person who dies the busiest wins a biscuit or eternal life or something.

The human race, particularly the subsets of it that:

Drive Priuses. Buy something less sluggish containing fewer poisonous heavy metals, you cunts.
Use the word "ickle". Grow the fuck up.
Call their children Dwayne. Guarantees he'll do time.
Say "it's only me". Yes, there is only one of you, thank fuck.

Over helpful people in shops who interrupt my browsing to ask if they can help me. Im an adult and will find a member of staff if I have a question.

Greeters I. Shops just to ask me how my day is fall under the same level of hatred.

People with the middle name "proudmummy" or "yummymummy" etc on Facebook.

Clients who can't say or describe what they want, ask you to pick something, then say they don't like what you picked for them

Actually, I don't mind greeters in shops, as they address me in such a way that they obviously expect me to smash the place up or steal something. Understandable given my appearance. Like Phil Mitchell, but much taller and without the boyish charm.

I have had a simple rule in the house since the kids were tiny - "shoes on or socks off" to limit slipping inside and grubby socks outside. Bellowed this at No.1 son the other day who said I don't remember. My reply "I've been saying it to you for 15 years! "

People who think that "Cornish" is another word for "stupid",
People who ask me "is that alright for yourself?",
Chippy sales assistants in supposedly upmarket shops glaring at me if I have the temerity to cross their threshold,
"unexpected item in the bagging area",
People who sit on benches in public areas with their arses on the top of the back rest & their filthy feet on the seat,
Chuggers,
People who spit everywhere, it was a crime once,
Drivers who don't indicate - as a wise man once said "my balls are hairy, not crystal".

The use of the phrase "sheer volume of traffic". Drives me mad. That and the proud mummy Facebook names.

'Elaborate plan'

Never a simple plan or pretty poorly thought through plan

DH: 1) he starts washing up when the table is not cleared and saucepans not emptied, so then it is apparently my job to run around like a maniac doing everything else. 2) he doesn't use the handle to open or close doors, so they always slam. 3) he fucks off upstairs without telling me he is going to bed and saying good night. 4) if something doesn't quite fit right, he uses brute force as a default. 4) he tears envelopes and puts them in the recycling bin, only the ones with the window aren't allowed so I have to go through all the bits to fish them out. Because bins are apparently MY job.

My MIL who thinks DH is amazing because he shows an interest in his children and does some (but by no means his fair share) of household chores.

Others: poor spelling and grammar. I don't mind typos, rushed messages etc, I can't stand "yer was off yur face".

People who are proud not to have gone to Uni. Not having an education is nothing to be proud of, and is insulting to those who have worked hard for theirs.

The way school staff can be patronising. I am sorry, not even my children are allowed to treat me/talk to me like that.

People coughing and sneezing without using their hands. I am the only person allowed to do that.

One of my neighbours who always comes up to me and asks in a pained voice how my DH is doing, didn't he lose his job? Yes, but that was 4 years ago, we have all moved on and are fine. Really.

My sister who says "I really must go" and settles herself deeper on the settee. Or asks me how she should solve a problem and we go over it for hours, she agrees with you, then does whatever she wanted to do anyway.

Animal mess. I hate it. We don't have pets because I ain't picking up no shit. But that means our garden is one giant potty for all the neighbours' cats.

If my PIL are in my house and I have gone out FIL opens the door when I get back. I want to let myself into my house

When I let him in he doesn't just walk straight in so I can shut the door but moves to shut the door himself.

I KNOW how stupid both those things are.

Neighbours child parks their car opposite my drive just a few inches out of where it wouldn't make it hard for me to get on my own drive.

DH shaving and not swilling the basin out properly, so he leaves little dots of foam+stubble under the taps (and up the tiles behind).

Socks put scrunched up into the laundry basket.

Cold calls, especially when you go all the way through to a human to say, as politely as you can after running to the phone for the fifth time that week, "Please take me off your list and do NOT call me again' and they just hang up on you.

Everyone else's glasses and mugs left strewn across the worktop when the dishwasher is only half full.

People who pin their locker key on the outside of their clothing and get on the running machine next to me and make a metallic jangling noise for half an hour.

Blokes that jangle pocketfuls of loose change about in meetings.

Other people kids that playfully bang cutlery together and whose parents don't notice.

Jeremy Clarkson - arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Oh and I forgot: a) the sound that sonic electric toothbrushes make, and b) when the noise has finally stopped hearing husband spitting the toothpaste out but not followed by the sound sink being swilled! Rage!

people who use words like moron and fucktard without knowing what they mean.

stupidity is not a disability

People who chuckle or gasp loudly while reading the paper, waiting for you to ask what they are chuckling/gasping about, and who then read the article out loud.

Oh, DP is a bugger for this. I airily ignore it now but he just says 'Here, Lovers, you'll like this' or something equally annoying instead, so I can't ignore him.

I hate 'tommy k' with a passion too.

Noisy eaters are the worst for me!

Also, I can only listen to one noise at once. I.e if TV on I cannot cope with laptop, radio or different sounds and vice versa.

DH thinks I'm nuts of course