To expect the swimming instructor to behave professionally...

[minionmadness]

Ds 6.5 has been having swimming lessons as the local leisure centre for around 2 years. He does have some minor co-ordination issues (very tall for his age) but is doing really well given there are sometimes 8 in a group. He always works hard and pays attention to the instructor.

He has just been moved into the top group in the training pool which made him very happy...

At his lesson last night the instructor in his new lane was making it very obvious (I'm sat right by the pool in a viewing area) that she was unhappy with some aspects of ds's ability. Lots of talking to the other instructors and pointing towards ds when he was doing his swim, putting her hands in the air in apparent frustration with ds. I appreciate though that I didn't hear what she was saying. Ds asked me why the new instructor was annoyed with him.

Since he has the second to last lesson I waited around to speak with her but other ds needed the toilet so I missed her but managed to catch his previous instructor, who when challenged looked very uncomfortable confirming that she had been referring to ds.

Now I have no problem with her pulling ds up about aspects of his swimming she is unhappy about, but AIBU to expect her to have behaved in a more professional manner by actually speaking to ds personally or speaking to me. Surely it's her job to help ds learn all the different strokes. If it was blatantly obvious to me it would have been to all the other parents sitting there too.

I am just about to ring the manager to discuss but would this be the wrong thing to do?

Of course she should address any concerns with you and/or ds. Id give her another week. Perhaps she doesnt know how to say what she needs to, and was getting advice from others in the meantime. If she has the same reaction and doesnt address it then you need to take the bull by the horns.

You should speak directly to the teacher if you can, ask what the problem with DS's stroke is and what s/he and you can do to help DS fix it.

Meant to add, that doesn't excuse the teacher from getting frustrated with DS and if it continues at the next lesson then you need to address that, but some stroke problems can be really hard to fix. Maybe the previous teacher looked a little embarrassed because it was something she hadn't addressed?

You want her to speak directly to you but you have done the same thing by speaking to his previous teacher. If it's bothering you so much speak to her before the next lesson.

maybe she is frustrated with the other swimming teachers that he has been moved up and she doesn't think he's ready. It sounds like she was throwing her arms up in frustration at the other teacher, not at your ds, being oblivious to you all watching in the gallery. Your ds shouldn't have felt she was annoyed with him, that's not on, and what you need to address. I would speak to her before the lesson, say you felt she was frustrated with him last week and that ds was upset. Ask outright if he is in the right group. It isn't for you to fix but definitely say something to her. If it carries on then escalate it.

I won't phone the manager then, I'll see how things go next week, although given I spoke with the old instructor this may have reminded her that parents are watching.

She may well feel that ds is not ready, that's fine, but I would have hoped that discussions were had before moving children up. I suppose it's the effect her behaviour had on ds that I am more annoyed about and the fact that if they now decide to move him back down again what this will do to his self esteem.

I would second the frustration being with the other teacher who sent him up. I can't imagine that she would either blame your ds for moving up (assuming you haven't been begging them to send him up for terms) or, if she was thinking it was his fault, then I suspect she'd have been bawling instructions from the side. Though what help that does is beyond me as I can't hear a thing when I'd swimming.

I would suspect that this may not have been the first conversation she's had with the swimming teacher from my experience. Because the waiting lists tend to be at the early stages, there's often pressure to move them up classes so the waiting list at the bottom can be eased.

Also when dd1 was doing swimming there was a huge jump between the group in the learner pool (10 in a lesson, 2 instructors in the water, lots of games, and swimming on their own was met with huge praise however they did it, and fun things) and the next group up in the main pool (1 instructor,who didn't get in the water, per 12 children, 6 groups and the emphasis was things like diving, retrieving weights from the book, and doing the strokes correctly)
So a child could look amazing in the younger group, and look (excuse pun!) totally out of their depth in the older one. I know that there were discussions that went along the lines of "X is much too good to still be in this group, he's getting bored"/"X can't cope with what we need him to do in the older group, he needs too much support."

Who is the swimming instructor here? You or her?

As a swimming instructor, she should be more professional and not so out of control of her emotions that her student is worried she's annoyed at him and a parent can see her frustration from the gallery! The OP wasn't concerned about her instructions but her attitude.

I think she was just 'showing' the other instructors your DS to back up her argument that he is in teh wrong group for his ability.

Goblin Please do read the thread!

I was going to answer you but I see Topaz has said pretty much what I would have.

I've been in the same situation with dd2. I echo was pp have said, I tackled it by talking to the instructor in a quiet moment, asking her if she felt dd2 would be better in another group, was it possible to move her etc. Plus I arranged for the instructor to do a few 121 lessons with dd2 to give her a boost.

Unfortunately the instructor was still rude and dismissive with dd2 so I ended up pulling her out and went to a different swim school!