To be mildly concerned at school putting girl's knickers on DS1 after a toilet accident?

[RachelWatts]

DS1 is 5.4 and just started Y1.

Despite being dry in the day for quite a while, he has recently started wetting himself - I suspect a UTI so will be booking him a GP appointment tomorrow.

After apparently having an accident at school, someone gave him a pair of girl's knickers. They are pale pink with a picture of a cute dalmation on.

Normally I wouldn't mind - they're only pants - but he had an after school sports club which meant he had to get changed in front of his classmates, some of whom would not hesitate to point it out and ridicule him.

Even worse - his own wet pants are nowhere to be found. DS1 thinks the TA might have put them in another child's bag by mistake. Mortified!

[RachelWatts]

He wet himself twice over the weekend, both times while absorbed in playing Minecraft - I thought it was because he was ignoring the signs as he didn't want to leave his game. When it happened today at school and he said he hadn't realised until too late, I started wondering if there was a UTI.

I didn't realise spare pants were in such short supply in schools, or that people didn't bother to wash and return them if their child had needed them.

So fair enough, IABU.

[greenbananas]

(Although I did slightly judge the mum who sent her boy commando into preschool every day, and he wet his trousers every day, poor soul, and I put him in the spare preschool pants every day. .. and then I got talking to mum and realised she was in desperate situation, dreadful in every way, pants were the least of her worries, and I felt guilty for secretly judging her. .. I don't think this situation compares to the op, who seems like an ordinarily busy mum from what she has said)

[NickNacks]

Well quite greenbananas that's why you don't bitch about the efforts of the school who have stepped in to remedy a parent's disorganisation.

[greenbananas]

No no, you are not being unreasonable! These things happen! Don't worry about it any more.

If my ds' s TA had been the one to change your son, I can guarantee that you would not be feeling this way, and would not be posting on mumsnet.

stop reading!

[greenbananas]

nick nacks I may not be the world's most organised parent but my son has a clean change of clothes in his pe bag every day (he has allergies and a drop of yoghurt or egg on his clothes could mean an ambulance trip unless the school staff changed him quickly). stop judging.

[RachelWatts]

Eh? What? I already said he'd been told off for making fun of his classmate over the purple hat. That's the complete opposite of allowing and accepting!

[ChickenSoupForTheSoul]

Your poor DS, he'll live and tomorrow it will be forgotten I'm sure.

Still, at least they put new ones on.

DD in yr1 had an accident and they left her without, from lunch till home time, and she was in a skirt . I still shudder thinking about it and that was 6 years ago.

This is the same child, who the next time she had an accident, was resourceful enough to dispose of the evidence. She flushed her niks and tights down the loo and screwed up the pipes for days. .

It was a mystery where said under garments were until they were pulled from the drain 3 days later.

[NickNacks]

You've missed my point green.

I'm not saying you are disorganised. I'm saying if a parent does forget or a child is caught unaware, then you thank the school and move on. You don't bitch about the fact that you didn't like that pants chosen! The DS was fine, just an unsatisfied parent who could have avoided the situation.

[Passmethecrisps]

It is all fine. He got pants, no bullying happened and OP will probably now become the top donator of pants in all shapes and sizes and colours.

Just one of these things you don't think about until it happens.

[duchesse]

I know teasing and bullying does happen within this school, and as I said upthread, DS1 has been told off himself for making fun of a classmate for wearing a hat in a 'girl' colour.

This is not the norm. I'd say this school has a problem child/children trying to assert their authority- this is what needs reining in, not other children's perfectly innocent garments.

[NickNacks]

(And I think you deliberately misinterpreted what I said since it was nothing like judging you!)

[greenbananas]

walk away Rachel....

This is not going to end well, and you have done nothing wrong.

[DustyCropHopper]

As a teaching assistant in a Receptiom class I spent quite a lot of money on buying new pants/knickers to keep in the 'spares' box as they rarely got returned when sent home. That is probably why there were no pants and I bet it was a last resort to use the knickers. If he was teased, then report that to the teacher, the children need to be spoken to.

[greenbananas]

Sorry nick nacks, think I did misread!

[Thebodyloveschocolateandwine]

I would be far more concerned at the teasing amongst 5 year olds to pants and hats.

That is not the norm at age 5/6 and i work in this age group.

Op seriously don't sorry about your post. It's a learning curve this parenting lark

[Thebodyloveschocolateandwine]

Yes Dusty me too.

[NickNacks]

No problem.

[RachelWatts]

Thanks all.

DS1 must have picked up the 'purple is a girl colour' from school as he certainly didn't get it from home. And I confused the hell out of him by pointing out that Hugo's hat wasn't a girl's hat because it belonged to Hugo, and Hugo's not a girl. And anyway, girls are just as good as boys... I started to confuse myself!

As I said, I had no idea schools had such a problem with spare pants. I do now!

G'night...

[deakymom]

if it helps i wet myself at school my big sister helped get me sorted out and gave me a pair of BIG red knickers they kept slipping down and the teacher noticed and gave me a pair that fitted no one said a darn thing to me

my son was given a box of pants to choose from when he had an accident he nearly chose pink ones the ta pointed him in the direction of the dino ones instead

[feathermucker]

It isn't up to the school to provide pants etc though. Didn't you send any spares in as he was having accidents?

I'm afraid this would mildly amuse me as opposed to concerning me

[Boomerwang]

I would not have been bothered if a school had put my daughter in boys pants, but if I had a boy I would have been bothered if he'd been put in girls pants ONLY if he was of an age where it mattered to him.

Gender identity is important, whatever you fluffy tea cosy wearing dreadlocked puffbags think.

[FannyBlott]

Yabu but I think you know that by now!
Your op has made me wonder if my ds' s missing pants went in another child's book bag.
DS came home in pants that weren't his and all he told me was that a teacher (probably the ta) gave him some school ones and they took his dirty ones away. I returned the school pants and mentioned the missing wet pants so they could check they weren't hanging on a peg or something but his teacher knew nothing about it.
I really hope they weren't in another child's bag!

[TraceyTrickster]

I'm amazed at the thught of such little kids ridiculing each other.

I bought my daughter some vests with lots of wide lace around the neck,arms and a little white bow at the neck. She was thrilled because her best mate, George (boy) had one EXACTLY the same and they could now be twins. George is equally thrilled to have the same vest. Kids really don't care- unless you imply there us something wrong.

[Surfsup1]

I'm now not sure if the children I know who I thought were lovely and normal are actually sophisticated sociopaths!?? MOST of the children I have encountered are well aware that a boy wearing pink, flowery knickers is a teasable offence. I'm pretty sure my 3 year old niece would pick up on this in an instant but she is the spawn of satan

I'm pretty sure my DSs would rather go without pants than risk being seen in girls knickers, but if the OP's DS wasn't bothered then it's no real drama. Being teased at that age is par for the course and these issues don't stick as they might do in a few years time.