To be mildly concerned at school putting girl's knickers on DS1 after a toilet accident?

[RachelWatts]

DS1 is 5.4 and just started Y1.

Despite being dry in the day for quite a while, he has recently started wetting himself - I suspect a UTI so will be booking him a GP appointment tomorrow.

After apparently having an accident at school, someone gave him a pair of girl's knickers. They are pale pink with a picture of a cute dalmation on.

Normally I wouldn't mind - they're only pants - but he had an after school sports club which meant he had to get changed in front of his classmates, some of whom would not hesitate to point it out and ridicule him.

Even worse - his own wet pants are nowhere to be found. DS1 thinks the TA might have put them in another child's bag by mistake. Mortified!

[Thebodyloveschocolateandwine]

september but what would you do then? If there are no boys pants would you prefer a bare bum!


Borrowed clothes often don't come back

[RachelWatts]

Thanks all. As I said, I'm only mildly concerned and that's just because of the potential for teasing. I've already had to tell DS1 off for laughing at a classmate who was wearing a purple sunhat - this apparently meant he was a girl.

I do understand that the school have to use what they have, and if they had no boy's pants then they had no boy's pants. Although I find that a little surprising - toilet accidents are quite common at this age.

[OddFodd]

Really? 5 year olds ridicule one another for wearing pink pants? I think you're ascribing a level of sophistication (and unpleasantness) to small children that they simply don't have in my experience.

Why are you mortifed? He's only 5 :(

[CromerSutra]

Yes it might be a bit embarrassing and that is regrettable but it probably simply means that was what was to hand or available ! I had 3 children needing changing today because they went down a slide into a puddle! I was on my own with the class so grabbed what I could. This is a really busy time of the year and chances are it was someone very busy that dealt with the situation, not perfect but understandable . Agree you should send him in with spares .

[RachelWatts]

Oddfod - Mortified at another parent potentially finding my son's pissy pants in their child's book bag. I know I wouldn't be impressed in their position!

[greenbananas]

I wouldn't worry about it. These things do happen a lot with young children, and I'm sure your ds and his friends will not be that bothered in a week's time.

Having said that. .. No doubt the school did the best they could with the limited amount of pants they had available, but there IS a difference between boys and girls pants. I have sent many a female friend of ds1's home wearing his pants (following accidents) and they were kind of baggy around the front, as girls do not have the same shaped bottoms. I would think that a pair of girls pants would be a little tight around the front on a boy.

Still, never mind, it's not a big issue. Hope your little boy didn't mind too much, and that he has no more accidents in school (not that anyone will bat an eyelid if he does because he is still very young!)

[ErrolTheDragon]

Why is there a difference between a boy in girls' pants and a girl in boys' pants?
there isn't - except for females still being viewed as the 'second sex' . I'm another who had to don a little pair of y-fronts as a damp infant, because that's all that was available. It was obvious to me as a small child that needs must, nothing to worry about.

[mygrandchildrenrock]

I do understand that the school have to use what they have, and if they had no boy's pants then they had no boy's pants. Although I find that a little surprising - toilet accidents are quite common at this age.

Exactly, they had probably run out of any other underwear.

[oddsocksmostly]

Presumably the school supply consists of whatever has been donated by other parents. I wouldn't expect them to come out of the educational budget, or do schools buy a stock?

[NickNacks]

Schools aren't obliged to provide spare clothes. They mostly rely on donations and you should send your own in, especially when he's prone to accidents.

This has made me quite cross!!

[Thebodyloveschocolateandwine]

To add I work with classes of 5 year olds every day.

No one is teasing about pants at that age.

7 maybe but 5 no.

And sorry but schools don't have a huge access to spare clothes. They are donated. If they ain't there they ain't there!

[RachelWatts]

Will make a note to donate pants to school!

I'm surprised that people don't return school pants though. No wonder his reception teacher was so grateful when I returned the school pants after an accident last year!

[Primafacie]

I think there's a difference between a girl in boys pants and a boy in girls.

Only if you are sexist.

[Thebodyloveschocolateandwine]

Nicknacks to be honest me too.

[mausmaus]

yabu
it's just a piece of cotton.
would you prefer him being knickerless?

[Purpleroxy]

Agree you need to send your own if you are that bothered. My dd has come home in boys pants having wet herself, ds has worn pinky/liliac things of dd's when he got cold. Fortunately he's old enough to understand that it's better to wear something pink than be cold.

[ColgateSmile]

YABU.

I work with pre schoolers and if they have a toilet accident, my main concern is getting them into clean, dry clothes. I have a million and one other things to do, so hunting down the 'right' pants is usually not that high on my list of priorities.

If my own DS (same age as OP's son) had to borrow 'girl' pants from school and came home telling me that he had been ridiculed for it, I'd tell him that those children were being silly and that he should just ignore them.

I think five and six year old boys probably would take the piss (no pun intended) about this but I don't think it's a big deal.

I'd be more concerned about the pissy pants possibly being in someone elses bag!

Hope your DS is okay OP.

[greenbananas]

Oh don't be cross, nick nacks. The op did say her boy wasn't generally prone to accidents, and that she is taking him to gp.

These things happen.. schools expect it!

okay, so there is not always an end less supply of spare pants - but I don't think they expect every single parent to send in extra pants if their child does not usually have accidents.

[ElizabethMedora]

But let me get me straight - he didn't actually get teased?

[NickNacks]

The op does say

he has recently started wetting

[IwishIwasmoreorganised]

Unless he had a change of clothes in his bag then I think YABVU to be even mildly concerned.

Who do you think would provide the endless supply of spare clothes that are needed in the early years classes in schools?

I really think that you're overthinking the tendency for other children to notice what your ds is wearing underneath his trousers, they'll all be too busy getting themselves changed.

We have always passed on pants and socks to nursery and since starting at school we passed them onto school as well as outgrown school shirts, trousers and jumpers.

[Mintyy]

Omg at the things teachers/tas in Year 1 are now supposed to be mindful of!

[RachelWatts]

No he didn't actually get teased, which is why I was only mildly concerned rather than feeling any stronger emotion.

I know teasing and bullying does happen within this school, and as I said upthread, DS1 has been told off himself for making fun of a classmate for wearing a hat in a 'girl' colour.

[Floggingmolly]

But op did say "he has recently started wetting himself", greenbananas; it beggars belief that you wouldn't send in your own spares knowing there was a good chance they'd be needed, never mind whining because the school could only provide pink ones!
They don't strictly have to provide anything at all.

[greenbananas]

Not a big problem. We are not all super organised perfect parents - I am certainly not! and I will not judge anyone who forgets to send pants into school! ! Life is full of bigger issues.