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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

about the nanny's sick days

36 replies

deliverdaniel · 15/09/2014 19:55

Genuinely don't know if I am BU here and also heartless so please be frank. we have a nanny who looks after our baby 4 days a week. She started in late February this year. Since then, she has taken 10 sick days for things like headaches/ stomach aches. today it was for a swollen insect bite on her foot (she texted me a photo- it looked uncomfortable but the kind of thing that I would have definitely stuck on a pair of flip flops and gone to work.) She has also had two days off for car trouble/ break downs. She also gave me two weeks notice that she was taking the entire month of July off to care for her grandmother after she had an operation, leaving me no time to find a replacement. She is also regularly 10 sometimes 15 mintues late, which amounts to around 3 hours a month, sometimes more. I have spoken to her about this, and it got a bit better, but still happens regularly. I work freelance so I can be more flexible than if I had say, an office job but I still really need the childcare, and also often schedule meetings etc which i then have to cancel.

This morning I told her I was concerned about the number of sick days and late days and said I really needed someone that I could rely on. SHe replied that she was committed, but these things were unpredictable/ out of her control. AIBU to be annoyed/ to say something or am I being totally heartless? (I pay her for sick days, but more worried about the lack of reliability than the money.)

OP posts:

PrettyPictures92 · 15/09/2014 19:57

Tbh if she's taking sick days for stuff like insect bites and sore stomachs as well as consistently letting you down then I would hand her notice and find someone who actually wants to do the job, sounds like she's taking the piss to me :(

OwlinaTree · 15/09/2014 19:59

Another vote for give her her cards

DearGirl · 15/09/2014 19:59

I am a nanny - unless I am being violently ill or seriously ill then I go to work. I may have a quiet duvet day but I go to work because chances are my charge will get it anyway and because of my job I can just have a chill day - rather than working in an office etc.

Sounds like she's taking the piss.

MrsCumbersnatch · 15/09/2014 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Haggismcbaggis · 15/09/2014 20:02

Totally unacceptable on all fronts. Ditch.

wheresthelight · 15/09/2014 20:02

what does your contract with her say about sick/lates and disciplinary process?

if she is in breach of her contract then you can start a disciplinary process which would normally consist of verbal warning, first written, final written and then dismissal

she sounds pretty flaked if she is off with an insect bite. I am violently allergic to horse fly bites and have been bitten twice where they have been bad enough to be off work but mainly because I was pretty much delirious anything like a normal mosi bite should nit render anyone incapable of working imo

concernedaboutheboy · 15/09/2014 20:03

She is completely taking the michael. Follow disciplinary procedure, then sack her.

soaccidentprone · 15/09/2014 20:03

Does she have an employment contract?

Do you have regular reviews with her? And if so are they written up and signed?

I personally think you have been too lenient with her, and she sees you as a bit of a pushover. I'm sure being an employer isn't easy, but you need to be stricter and set boundaries around what is and isn't acceptable behaviour.

I was 1 minute late for work this morning- totally my fault really, but when I arrived at work I emailed my manager and apologized. I work flexi time, but still have to be in by a certain time.

I would either dock her wages for being late or make her work back the time owed.

2littleduckies · 15/09/2014 20:04

I can't think of any job where it would be acceptable to be regularly late and where such a poor sick record wouldn't invoke somekind of process. She is taking the piss.

glenthebattleostrich · 15/09/2014 20:04

Bit different as I'm a childminder but unless I'm going to infect the children with something more than a cold or a family member has died then I open. She's not reliable and as a childcarer that's not what parents need. One of the perks of this kind of work is that you can adapt your day if you are feeling under the wearher.

Pariba · 15/09/2014 20:04

She'll soon stop if you stop paying her sick days.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 15/09/2014 20:05

Is it in her contract that you pay her for sick days or is it discretionary? If it is discretionary then if you stop you may suddenly find her becoming a hell of a lot healthier.

But just to do some sums for you :-

She has been working for you for 6.5 months @ 4 days a week.

So roughly 17 days a month or 110 days altogether.

She has had 12 days sick, 17 days looking after granny which leaves 81 days of working. So less than 75% attendance rate! Plus probably some holiday too?

In the 3.5 years we have used nursery it has never been closed except for bank holidays.

HalfTheSky · 15/09/2014 20:05

She's got less than two years' service, don't bother with a disciplinary process as she can't bring a claim for unfair dismissal anyway. Cut your losses, give her notice and get rid.

iwaly · 15/09/2014 20:06

Can you let her go now without having to give reasons since she has been with you for less than a year? Someone else will probably be along to confirm this? She doesn't sound like the right person for you at all.

nbee84 · 15/09/2014 20:11

She needs to go. I'm a nanny and I've had no sick days at all in the last year. I think I had 5 altogether in the previous 7 years. In those instances it's been because I've been too unwell to drive the car to get to work. I've also only been late about 4 times in 8 years.

If you give her a final chance the first thing you need to do is stop paying sick and implement SSP only. Chances are she will make it into work if she is faced with no pay for her days off.

Gatehouse77 · 15/09/2014 20:12

Get rid. I was a nanny for 11 years and rarely had a day off unless I couldn't get out of bed. Regular tardiness is not acceptable in any job and it sounds like she's taking advantage of your flexibility.

As she's been there less than a year, I believe, you only have to give notice in accordance to either her contract or how she is paid.
i.e. if she's paid monthly, you have to give a month's notice; weekly, a week's notice.

You can always phone ACAS for advice...

londonrach · 15/09/2014 20:24

Crumbs. I started working for a new nhs trust. Two days later i broke a bone in my foot. Three door car, seat belt and bil not catching me as i got foot caught in seat belt and fell out onto the pavement. The pain! I tried to continue working but couldnt get up after treating someone in a wheelchair. It was awful i had to get domeone to get me off the floor. I went to hospital and got xrayed and signed off for three weeks. My foot looked like something in tate modern. Less than a month in the job id be on sick for three weeks. Cant tell you of the guilt. It was the only sick i took every luckily. Im the one now if turns up every day. My boss could have thought id taken the michael (ignoring xrays, my foot three times the size of normal and doctor letter). Maybe nanny different but she has sent you photos. Its been 7 years since the foot bone injury and ive had no sick apart from one day of actually sickness since (no idea why but hubby was also ill and i cleaned the bedding etc). What im saying is be warned but give her benefit of doubt at mo.

HalfTheSky · 15/09/2014 20:28

Don't stop paying full pay for sick if that's what you've been doing if that's what it says in her contract - you'll give her a claim for breach of contract or unlawful deductions from wages, and she will still be your employee. Tell her you're dismissing her because of her attendance record. Her notice is either what it says in her contract or one week given her length of service - whichever is longer.

waithorse · 15/09/2014 20:35

Sack her. That's a ridiculous amount of sick days, even if you ignore the being late.

WooWooOwl · 15/09/2014 20:41

She's unreliable, get rid.

It's not going to get any better. A couple of periods of sickness is can be put down to bad luck, lateness and not coming in because of an insect bite is just laziness and a bad attitude.

LittlePeaPod · 15/09/2014 20:43

Mmm, I have to be honest this would annoy me too. I doubt that kind of business relationship would work for DH & I.

Just so you can compare with others. I am sure others will share their experiences too. We have an amazing nanny who is extremely conscientious and professional. She has had everything from really bad colds/coughs and even turned up to work having had a tooth abbesses which required her going to hospital for it to be sorted. I was really surprised that she wanted to come in co sideting her face was still slightly swollen from the abesses. On every occasion I have said not a problem for her to take time off but she always wants to comes in. I completely trust her and I would have no problem with her taking time off. She has shown a level of professionalism that deserves that level of respect.

There has only been one occasion when she came in and needed to rightfully go home because she had a nasty tummy bug. She needed to get some rest. I doubt she would not one in based on some of the reasons your nanny is giving.

Viviennemary · 15/09/2014 20:44

Get somebody else. This is just not working. Far too unreliable. And she can't just take a month off like that to look after a relative.

kentishgirl · 15/09/2014 20:48

You can just sack her without all the faff of a disciplinary - one week's notice, done. The 3 stage disciplinary process is not a statutory thing now, just ACAS guidance, and is not expected to apply for a small employer such as yourself in any case. She has no protection against unfair dismissal etc as she has not worked for you for two years (and again, it wouldn't be found unfair anyway as long as you give the right notice.

Panicmode1 · 15/09/2014 20:51

Is she my old nanny?!

She had 12 sick days in 6 months - and only worked 3 days a week!! I actually ended up giving her notice because I was going on maternity leave again, but she made my last few months at work very, very difficult. Shame, because when she was AT work, she was very good - she was just off 'sick' more often than she was at work by the end.

icanmakeyouicecream · 15/09/2014 21:26

Joke. Get rid!

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