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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Just sacked gardener, feel awful

54 replies

sunnyrosegarden · 15/09/2014 15:07

I'm so rubbish at any type of confrontation. Basically, we inherited a gardener when we bought the house. Never had one before and we were a bit uncertain, but he was a nice guy.

Started ok, but gradually he slipped, didn't come when he said he would, did pretty much what he wanted, rather than what we asked. Cut stuff that I'd asked him to leave.

He hasnt been round now for weeks and weeks (july, I think) and not a word. Dh and I had just had enough - decided to manage ourselves and invest in a decent lawnmover instead.

So, I sent a polite text...

Got a rant back. He's lost a family member to cancer. He's furious and hurt at me. How dare I etc etc.

I'm feeling really crap today anyway (chest infection) and now I feel really guilty. What do I do? Leave it? AIBU???

OP posts:

amigababy · 15/09/2014 17:12

Presumably he's self employed, so you haven't really sacked him. You just didn't need to use his not very good services any more. Don't worry.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/09/2014 17:16

Yanbu he did not do his job well so you have every right not to employ him. It's not like he's doing it fir free! You were not to know about his family member, he should have had the courtesy to let you know that he was not able to come in because of this. It's not your problem, please don't feel crap. For all you know he might be fibbing.

PistolWhipped · 15/09/2014 17:22

I think it was unreasonable to sack him by text - it shows a complete lack of respect for him as a real person - but you were not unreasonable to sack the insubordinate and slovenly bastard.

OnlyLovers · 15/09/2014 17:27

Pistol, the OP has given her reasons for contacting him by text. I think they're fair enough.

I'm sorry for him about his relative, but as someone else said, in a less casual even if something really ghastly happened in my life I can't imagine not letting my work know. It's common courtesy and basic professionalism. He deserves to lose your custom. It doesn't sound as though he was that good anyway, especially in cutting down stuff you asked him to leave.

ilovechristmas1 · 15/09/2014 17:31

yeah so he says there's been a death,you dont know for 100% if that's genuine and people do lie

he sounds like he was doing what was convenient to him,not you the client

and im assuming he's self employed,if so he is running a pretty shabby buisnness on many levels

ignore now and enjoy the wonders of gardening

helpmekeepstrong · 15/09/2014 17:34

OnlyLovers I think Pistol may have been joking.... not sure.... but the words 'lack of respect for him as a real person' hotly followed by 'the insubordinate and slovenly bastard' lead me to think this.

OnlyLovers · 15/09/2014 17:35

PS had he still been doing next door? And what did they think of him?

And I forgot to say I wouldn't bother replying.

ImperialBlether · 15/09/2014 17:42

So if someone in his family was very ill and he knew he wouldn't be in work, why didn't he send a text to everyone explaining the situation?

He managed to text back, didn't he?

DefinitleySpeltWrong · 15/09/2014 17:45

I might have sent an ultimation text prior to the sacking text but I wouldn't worry about it.

I'd block his number and I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all.

icymaiden · 15/09/2014 17:46

He doesn't want the job.This is absolutely classic of what people do when they want to get out of an arrangement but want (in their own mind) to claim the moral high ground.Do their part so unreliably that you call it off, then they can play the 'hurt, innocent party,and you have all the guilt.

MirandaGoshawk · 15/09/2014 17:49

Ignore. You are the boss & you have every right to say you no longer require his services if you want to.

neiljames77 · 15/09/2014 18:00

I hope after his rant, he now leaves you alone. No way on earth should you feel guilty
, even if a family illness is the root of his absence.
Dispensing with someone's services is a thorny issue bud don't feel too for lawn about it.

Greenrememberedhills · 15/09/2014 18:01

Don't feel awful. You can be sorry his relative has cancer. But you don't need to feel sorry for his unreliability and poor communication skills.

Having a sick relative didn't stop his mobile working. It isn't an excuse.

OnlyLovers · 15/09/2014 18:03

Oh yes, help, I see what you mean. I'm not always Ms Fastest on the Uptake.

gypsygirlfromlondon · 15/09/2014 18:04

It is his responsibility. You are his customer so he should either call, text, email or write to you explaining his circumstances. Most people when they have been bereaved do inform work about the situation and everyone will of course understand they need time off.

It is not your job to chase him. He has been negligent in not keeping you informed and not doing your garden in the middle of summer! Whether what he says is true or not, the problem is his duty to inform you, it's not up to you to be psychic!

It's very discourteous of him not to let you know and you have every right to dismiss his services. Ignore his rant and have a glass of wine [ wine]What a horrible man to make you feel guilty for his bad behaviour. Bereaved or not, that's very poor manners and unprofessional. Get someone else!

Whatisaweekend · 15/09/2014 18:06

So he can text you a long rant about how horrid you are and what an awful time he has had, but he was unable to send you just one sentence in July saying that he would be unavailable due to an ill relative? . Don't feel guilty.

CromerSutra · 15/09/2014 18:09

Not your fault at all. Why didn't he text you, send one of his assistants round or contact you in another way? 2 months is taking the piss regardless of the circumstances really. He is bvu. Ignore it and move on.

glidingpig · 15/09/2014 18:42

No need at all to feel guilty. If he was working for a permanent employer he might be given compassionate leave, but he'd still have to actually notify them of the situation. Nobody on earth can just fail to turn up to work for two flipping months without a word and then be surprised to discover they no longer have a job. Even in awful circumstances there are people you have to inform. At some point in those two months he could have sent a text.

Original poster

sunnyrosegarden · 16/09/2014 14:04

Thanks again. I am feeling better today. DH read the text last night and was not happy! He'd been telling the gardener for ages that stuff just wasnt been done, and the text was quite a rant. He was all for phoning him, but I think that would just have made things worse.

The neighbour has been moaninf for years, but has always said that she doesnt have the heart to do anything about it. She said he always pretends he doesnt understand her, so she just lets him keep coming. She asked me last week if I had any idea whether he was coming back, but I haven't mentioned anything to her.

Not nice at all all round.

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 16/09/2014 14:23

Well your well rid of him, mabey you should tell her so that she knows, mabey your neighbour will have the courage to tell him that he is no longer needed. Yes image going AWOL without a word in a regular employment, he would not have a job to go to. He survives on people like your neighbour, not having the heart to say no, and putting up with shoddy work.

icymaiden · 16/09/2014 14:36

FFs Stop fancying yourself as lady of the manor sacking Old Jones the gardener.
You didn't sack him, you didn't employ him.He is a business. Do you worry about sacking Debenhams when you shop at M&S?

OnlyLovers · 16/09/2014 14:40

icy, what was the point of that, exactly? You know what the OP was worrying about. Everyone else has managed to address it without getting in any little digs about her using a gardener in the first place.

Have a word with yourself, would you?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 16/09/2014 14:43

I wouldn't give it a second thought. When I sacked my very unreliable cleaner I felt nothing but relief. Having someone in to do jobs for you should not be a source of more stress than actually doing the job yourself but sometimes it can be.

Original poster

sunnyrosegarden · 16/09/2014 14:50

Clearly feeling better todsy, as icy's comment made me snort.

No, I don't, but thrn Marks or Debenhams don't turn up periodically to empty out your wardrobe, and then send you an emotional rant about family members having cancer, do they?

OP posts:

HappydaysArehere · 16/09/2014 15:17

Just say you are sorry but you have had to review your finances and have had to cut back on various things. Your husband (that always sounds more positive) has decided this is something he would enjoy doing himself and the saving is necessary. Just don't buy a Porsche in the next week or so!

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