To treat our dc differently?

[SixImpossible]

We're considering making computer/TV/tablet etc use conditional on good behaviour for two of our dc, using the pasta jar method.

Dh says we should have three pasta jars going, one for each dc.

I say we should have only two, for the two dc whose behaviour is a problem. The other dc's behaviour is not a problem, and they should continue to have relatively unrestricted access to screen time.

Dh says that this is unfair.

WWYD?

Ha ha - the 14yo is just going to go out and buy some pasta to top it up when you are not looking

pasta jar for 11 and 14 is very babyish , not even sure if its ok for an 8 yr old tbh .

I think they are all too old as well. Perhaps if the pasta jar contained money ...

I use reward charts for my younger dc's to help them with their behaviour, my oldest dc asks what rewards/stickers he's going to get. I had a hard time explaining that his younger siblings were getting more attention and 'rewards' because they were naughty and he wasn't!

Focus on the positive, not the negative.

If the other two are already complaining that you favour the oldest then I think you'll have more issues if you don't do it for them.

However I can't imagine what my 13yo would make of doing that, or my 10yo.They'd definitely roll their eyes, and probably totally ignore it. My 7yo might respond, and I probably would be tempted to do it for him, but not the other two.

However it might get them cooperating on finding where I kept the pasta and filling all the jars up I suppose.

At 14, I would probably just have bought my own pasta. And maybe sold some to my younger sibs.

Maybe they are acting up because you are treating them like little kids?

sounds like a system for toddlers, not kids of that age. It won't work - they'll shift the pasta around, or they simply won't care.

Think of something else.

I wouldn't. I would look for other methods to tackle the behaviour.

Far too complicated.

(For you to administer, not them!)

YABU. You're setting up a situation where there is one good child and two bad ones. This is likely to further entrench the idea in their minds that they're sonehow inherently bad (rather than behaving badly) which will only make their behavior worse. Rewards and punishments for younger kids only really work if they're relatively immediate I.e. you behaved we'll at the shop you can have TV, rather than you were good this month so you have unrestricted screen time. Let them all have the same system and if one behaves well he'll get plenty of screen time.

Just retread ages. I don't think this method is the best for any f them. I still pry though however unintentionally you've set up heir identities in the family as naughty or good rather than just reacting to their behavior as it crops up.

I'm missing the point a bit, but when I was a child my two older siblings used to get 50p a week if they didn't bite their nails. I never bit mine, ever, so got no reward. It was completely unfair. I used to plot to bite all my nails off then not bite them the next week so I could get 50p. I never did as I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Anyway, same rule for all, or no rule I think.

Oh and I agree that pasta jar is a bit young for 14.