to think thin comments should be just as unacceptable as fat comments

[sarahighseas]

It seems to be perfectly acceptable for people to say to someone thin, you should eat some more pies but not telling someone fat to eat less pies in not acceptable.

Aibu to think thin people have way more discrimination?

Personal comments about people's weight and appearance are not OK, regardless of whether they're to someone who is thin or fat or anywhere inbetween, but YABVVVU to think that thin people face anything approaching the discrimination that fat people endure every day, let alone 'way more'.

Have you ever been fat? I mean, properly fat? I'm not anymore, but I used to be.

I've also been a size 6-8 (and I'm 5'8). Being thin is like living on a different planet after being fat. When I was very thin, possibly a bit too thin, I did get comments although few were really nasty. Being slim means you're treated differently, and by differently I mean a lot better, to fat people all day every day, and you just have no idea. It's not as noticeable to me now (because it's been a while since I lost weight and I'm not about a 12), but when I was first thin, I literally could not believe how different it was.

I'm thin, my BMI is 18.3.

I'm sick to the back teeth of the comments I've had from people telling me to eat a good meal, have a cake or a pie, calling me a stick insect, telling me I'll blow over in the wind or snap in half. It pisses me off, tbh.

One very overweight woman was eating a whole tube of Pringles once and told me I should eat a good meal as I was wasting away! I said to her, if I told her to stop eating the crisps because they'd make her put on more weight, she'd think I was rude, and she agreed. So I said I thought she was rude for commenting on my weight. She did stop after that.

I think weight is off limits for people to make personal remarks over.

I'm very slim, partly genetics but mostly through health issues and I've lost track of the times that people have looked me up and down and told me how skinny I am. I used to be polite, now I just tell them to sod off and mind their own business.

What really pisses me off though is all this 'really woman' bullshit in magazines - just because I'm an AA cup and need a belt for my jeans does not make me any less of a woman. Ignorant twats!!

YANBU. I don't eat enough due to anxiety, poor appetite, being naturally v slim and small, being disorganised and not really being very "into" food. I think I look too thin and feel self conscious loads of my work colleagues constantly comment on how skinny I am, whether I eat, go on BigPaws you need a second doughnut, etc etc. totally unacceptable if they were reversed, and just as rude.

I can quote the rest for you penis 'No one should be making personal comments but'

But.

Yeah, it's wrong, but.....

YANBU and the really irritates me.

I do think that thin comments seem to be accepted more in general. My 14yo has serious food issues and is severely underweight. The amount of comments surrounding how ill he looks, how he needs a good meal ect are ridiculous and just plain rude. I wouldn't dream of saying to an overweight person 'oh you shouldn't eat that' the way people tell my son he needs to eat more.

Incidentally, there was a problem at my DSS's(15) school the other week. He got in trouble for calling a girl fat after she made repeated comments about my 14yo's weight. He explained to the teacher what had happened and she still didn't get in trouble. I spoke to the teacher involved who said that negative comments about someone being underweight are not as damaging as negative comments about someone being overweight

I then contacted my DSS's head of year who sorted it, but the whole thing was ridiculous and I'm amazed people actually think like that!

They are just as bad yes, having been slim and blond for most of my life I can tell you it is no bed of roses. It seems it is ok to call me a skinny bitch or dumb blond but heaven forbid you even hint about some else's size if they are overweight.

The double standard is shit.

I'm 5"7 and when I was 25 I weighed 41kg. When I was 35 I weighed 47 kg. goodness knees what I weighed as a child. I am and have always been perfectly healthy, menstruated regularly and fallen pregnant and carried babies and given birth easily. I say that last bit because along with the anorexic/eat more/do you make yourself sick comments were the you'll never have/be able to carry/give birth normally stuff.

So I've had my fair share of attention. I wouldn't put it on a par with obese people though.

YY bailey to the 'real woman' stuff!

Also the " men like some curves to hold onto" like our bodies are simply for the pleasure of men!

Wolfe, on reflection, I withdraw part of my post and say that for adolescents, body shaming is pretty horrible. I can't say what it's like for a fat teenager, but as a painfully thin one, I wanted to curl up and die, sometimes.

I think a better solution would be if fat wasn't used as such a nasty word. If it was simply a describer with no judgement.
Thin people are worshipped by society it's ridiculous to say they experience more nastiness just because some big women snap back at them. Big women are constantly told they wrong it's not right but it's understandable that sometimes they make comments the other way.
We need to just not focus on appearance so much. We need to stop judging women on their body type. That's the problem it's not fat vs thin!

YANBU. Right up until I had my kids, I was very slim, size 6-8. I used to look scrawny and wanted to put on weight and tried everything, which due to a very fast metabolism just didn't work. I have had total strangers ask me if I'm anorexic. My first day at work someone said "God, give the girl a steak or something". People yelling out to me that I'll snap in two or blow away in the wind. I had very low self esteem/lack of confidence growing up and all the comments really exacerbated it. I've now put on weight thanks to two pregnancies and getting older, and am size 12-14 and finally feel that I look healthier.

Someone famous (can't remember who) said that "personal comments are the height of rudeness" and I couldn't agree with that more. I would never ever dream of commenting on someone's personal appearance.
My 2 kids are now going through the same crap at school as they have very small builds and it makes me MAD.

And just this weekend, my son went to a friend's house, there was another boy there he didn't know, everything was fine. Then the unknown boy's mother turned up to collect her son. She'd never met/seen my son before and she said to him "why are you so skinny?" WTF!!! I wasn't there and he didn't tell me until yesterday evening, but he was pretty upset and I want to strangle the interfering cow.
Rant over.

YABU to say that there is more discrimination to thin people, than to fat people.

YANBU for believing that it isn't right to comment on a thin person's appearance.

They are equally unacceptable. Like fat shaming comments though they do seem to be getting more frequent and from what I've seen people are thinking they are more acceptable nowadays. Why everyone can't stop shaming anyone is beyond me. Says a lot more about the person shamings personality and issues imo.

I think if you are happy with yourself you don't shame, doesn't matter your size. I think you might still judge, which most people do over anything, but shaming is taking it to a new level. Ideally you wouldn't judge either bit it's harder to turn off internal thought (though yoh can challenge) then it is to keep your mouth shut.

Regarding weight though, we judge and shame ourselves most if we are unhappy with our bodies or unhappy with attitudes towards our body from other people. I have found women are far worse for comments. Especially passive aggressive or backhanded and bullying other women. Men are just judgy and rude, but it's more open and outright. That's just from my personal experience though people's may differ.

What pisses me off is the comment usually end up or have an air of 'you'll never get a man being your side's (skinny or fat) as if a mans validation is paramount. What annoys me more is men wading in to day how much they like said size and saying how gross the other is! Who gives a fuck what they like? and how do comments like that do anything to help?

Sorry went off on a rant there

As women we can be as much to blame, I try not to comment on weight unless someone is constantly telling me they are on a diet as I assume they want recognition. Weight loss sites are full of who has and who has not noticed and I was once called jealous because I never mentioned a friends weight loss.

I think also because society tends to uphold (at the moment) skinny people as being what you should aspire to, people think that going AGAINST that and saying, "real men love curves, they don't want to go to bed with a skeleton!" is the answer.

When in reality, the answer, of course, is that no one body type is correct or 'in fashion'.

Discrimination no, rudness yes but not way more than fat people.

Thin people dont have others not wanting to sit next to them on planes or wanting them to pay for their own treatment if they are ill etc

Yanbu. As someone who has recovered from an eating disorder and works hard to eat enough to maintain a good weight, snide thin comments are really unhelpful.

Yes why has weight become a topic for conversation? Everyone is obsessed with it! People comment on my appearance all the time and it pisses me off. I used to be very slim but with huge boobs now I'm in my thirties the rest of my body is catching up with my rack.

Thin comments are just as unacceptable as fat comments. Some people really struggle to put on weight and don't need to be told to go eat some pies. Personal comments in general should remain firmly in your head and not just fall out of your mouth.

In my first full time job, I worked with an incredibly obese lady who made daily comments about my long legs which included and I quote "ewwwwww just look at them they are disgusting" along with the usual "right up to your armpits" blah blah blah which is not only offensive but untrue, they are not disgusting and they only come up to my bum.

If I in turn had called her "disgusting" in any way I would have been a great big bitch but oh I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I used to just grimace at her.

Now I would tell her exactly what I thought.

It isn't worse, both are equally bad. Weight is totally off limits, it's so personal and just should not be mentioned- only medically between health professional and patient IMO. It's bad form to comment on anyone's weight whether they're fat, thin or average.

My mum has always mocked skinny women. It's her own damn insecurity that drives it. She's always been a normal weight but strived to be slimmer, one of those constantly on a diet people. She comments on their lack of breasts (bee stings as she calls them), twig legs, how they need to get a few burgers in them etc. I've always told her off for it, it's so so horrible.

Men are just as bad for it. If anything men are worse for it with the "you need to get a steak/pizza/ burgers in you" comments. It's all completely out of order.

MIL does this and it grinds my gears. She has often commented on my figure - and has now taken to highlighting my food choices when we eat out as a family ("How can you eat all that and stay so thin?!*")

What does she want me to say? "It's genetic" "I'm 30 years younger than you" "I'm not going to eat salad on a night out" " I don't drink gallons of wine every week "

I don't because I know it is born of envy and there is no malice behind it. it is very tedious though and a bit embarrassing in company.

*I have a BMI of 19 so am on the slim side of average

It's so strange how times have changed! I'm 5ft 9 and 9 stone 7lbs, I'm slim but definitely not thin. My weight is normal for my height and no doctor ever has said I need to gain weight, but oh god in RL the comments I've had off other women mainly tbh about how 'thin' I am and disbelief that I have a sweet tooth which I have. I try and laugh it off but it's amazing how rude people are. There's definitely a distortion nowadays with people seeing clearly overweight people as the 'norm'. I live in Wales so I get the Tall as well as Thin comments, because they're all short as well as fat!!
Oh dear, will wait to be shot down or have post deleted. Past caring, have never written a controversial post, so quite excited!! Yes, I'm also bored housewife as well... A hat trick!!

YANBU to be pissed off.

Making personal comments about another person's physical appearance is the height of rudeness.

However, having been both skinny and fat in my time, I would say that I have received far more insults and judgemental comments when overweight. Fat people are perceived variously as being lazy, unsuccessful, undesirable, unfit, and as having no self control. Being slim otoh is still seen as the ultimate goal and a generally desirable state.

Ironically, at my thinnest I was severely depressed and bulimic, now I'm larger but also physically fitter than I've ever been and much happier generally. Thankfully I'm also now old enough to realise that people who make negative comments about others are generally projecting their own insecurities and unhappiness.