To pull out of dp's night out in favour of going out with friends?

[OneThingAfterTother]

Seems like since we got together we just do whatever he wants to do. In the past few weeks for instance we've been to two festivals (One twice!) a car race, his mum has been down for dinner and we've basically not had chance to do anything else not had the money to do so. Now in the next few weeks we have two work dos that he wants us to go to and another festival. I feel like all we ever do us stuff that he wants to do. I feel like my entire life just fits around him. This coming Saturday is one of the works dos which I said if go with him to. The weekend after is another works do and the weekend after that is the festival. I've been invited out with friends this Saturday night. Aibu to cancel on dp and go out with friends, doing something for me for once?

Yanbu.

Be warned that you will get raucously drunk and might be refused entry to a 'nite' spot.

It means him going to a wedding do on his own but I'm sick of always doing 'his' thing. Even if I get out if this one I still have two more of dp's events lined up in the next two weeks. I'm starting to resent it.

Tell him. You can't sit on resentment. And his response will be quite telling too!

I think you are being a bit unreasonable not to go to a wedding if you have already said that you will go, both towards your DP and the bride and groom. Not at all unreasonable to organise your own thing for future weekends though.

I wouldn't cancel for a wedding, but if you don't want to go to the other things then that's fine. You can't expect him not to do them though, as it's already arranged, but you can expect him to go along with it when you plan something and book the date.

Have you actually tried to arrange things with your friends or suggest things that you'd like to do?

I've never even met the bride and groom so they won't care that I'm not there and dp can go alone, they're all his work mates so he'll have plenty if people to bounce off. If ever I suggest something for a weekend he either uses money or kids as an excuse.

Yeah fuck it, do what you want.

This is an excellent example of why not inviting partners and husbands to weddings can be a kindness.

It does sound like there is an issue here, but suddenly deciding not to go to a wedding in favour of a random piss-up is going to come across as inflammatory.

It sounds like there is an issue that needs sorting, but what you're suggesting is absolutely the wrong way to go about it. Have you tried talking to him?

I can't really decide if YABU because it's impossible to tell if you have happily gone along with the events? I don't really see the issue with him having a full social life that he is happy to have you involved in too, but it is clearly an issue for you. Is he aware of your feelings?