Was IBU to not join ex's family in restaurant?

[Boomerwang]

I live with my ex for the sake of our daughter. We've actually come to an agreement that we are no longer a couple. His parents celebrate the day they met every year (not wedding anniversary, just when they met) and this year they invited everyone (daughter +bf, son + gf and two kids, son + me and one kid) to a local restaurant.

I don't get along well with the father - he doesn't think much of my parenting and gives my daughter all the wrong things to eat.
I love the mother but she doesn't speak a word of English so a conversation rarely happens when there are other Swedish speakers around.
I dislike the son, gf + 2kids family for many small reasons.

So, before I would take part in these family gatherings when my ex and I were a couple, but now that we are not, I declined to go.

When my ex returned with our daughter, he told me that his father was upset that I hadn't gone. I didn't really know what to say to that.

I don't see them as my family, and never have. Perhaps it has contributed to the breakdown in our relationship (my attitude, I mean).

Was IBU? Should I continue to go to these things even though I will sit and say nothing to anybody? Knowing they are all judging me for breaking up with my ex? That I'm only there because of our daughter?

I have no idea where it's going to go from here and I haven't given any thought as to how it's going to affect my daughter, primarily because it's not affecting her now.

My sister has the same setup. Daughter, her, and the father in a 3 bed flat. They are not together but he cant aford to move out. Would finding a 3 bed place be an option?

I really feel for you. You've got to move on from this situation somehow. Is there a borgerservice or rådhus nearby you could get some advice from? Hoping that Danish translates to swedish in this case.

Sorry Boomerwang, but you seem very passive about this. Technically speaking, if I ever left my dh I would have "nowhere to go", but I would take active steps to find somewhere - it wouldn't just appear out of nowhere. And what would happen if the one day he might kick me out was tomorrow? Please don't leave all the decision making to him.
And you are deluded if you think the atmosphere in your house is not affecting your dd - it most definitely is.

I do not see that the Swedish authorities will allow me to have an apartment when my partner hasn't kicked me out, we are receiving benefits as a couple and we have a daughter. Under what circumstances does any authority allow you to move into a new apartment? We are both out of work btw.