Should I tell dh what I heard

[buaitisi]

Dh's mother & stepfather are here this weekend.

There's been some issues in the past between mil and I, I think she's overstepped the boundaries a bit e.g rearranging the cupboards without asking, giving ds sweets behind my back when I've asked her not to, buying a rug for our bedroom and putting it there & getting rid of our old one without asking us.

Anyway, dh knows she's a bit overbearing but says she's only tring to help and it comes from a good place. He has told her gently a few times that we didn't need her help.

She's very bitchy about people. Has something negative to say about everyone in her family. Has often come and bad mouthed her other son to us.

I always got the feeling she didn't like me, I'm not overly worried about it except to get annoyed when she clearly goes against what I want for ds.

She often tells dh how much she admires me and what a great job I'm doing with ds. Dh then thinks I'm being unkind when I don't want to spend that much time with them.

Tonight, before we were going to head out to dinner, I was in our bedroom next to the guest room. Mil and stfil didn't realise I was there. She said 'can we bring two cars to dinner? I don't particularly want to sit next to buaitisi in the car'
Stfil then said 'well I don't want to either' then they both started laughing and whispering, I think mimicking my accent, I'm from a different country to them.
She was then saying to him 'you suggest it then, I don't want him to know'

I was out of sorts for the evening, didn't really make conversation with them. Dh is annoyed with me thinking I was rude but I'm a bit hurt.

I knew they didn't like me, that's fine, but to hear that sniggering about me is hurtful, especially when dh thinks I'm the one who's unkind to them.

Should I tell dh or leave well enough alone? I don't have any other family here as I moved to their & dh's country but we only see them about once every 2 months.

You know what? I'm actually a tiny bit grateful for their bad behaviour to me.

I used to let people walk over me a bit for the sake of a quiet life but when they kept at it I started to get angry and look for ways to stand up for myself. I still have a way to go but I'm a lot stronger and better and saying no to people now. Their behaviour was the stimulus to change!

Google search on difficult mils brought me to mumsnet in the first place

I think you should just say something like 'DH, you know how your Mother and 'Fred' wanted to take two cars - it was because neither of them wanted to sit next to me, they were discussing it in the bedroom, I heard every word, that's how I already knew'.

The do as you say you will, back right off from organising and reminding.

How long are you stuck out there for? Would DH go back to where you come from if you wanted him to?

Why wait till after they have gone?

They sound horrible.

Latte is spot on.

I think you know your DH and from what you have said I would say he knows they are rubbish
Follow his lead and distance them.
Tell him when there gone.I wouldnt want to hear the fake sorry either.

Another vote for telling him. I think you're right to wait until they've gone too, that's what I'd likely do anyway.

See if my "D"Ps did that in our house DW would tell me without hesitation and then that'd be their arses flying out the door that fast their heids would spin, so they would.

How old are they, 5?! Nope, they're grown ups. They sound hideous. Glad you let them know that you'd heard.
Definitely tell your DH. When they've gone, as I couldn't be doing with any fake apologies or expecting it all to blow over.

I would definitely tell your dh, especially he thinks your being rude to them. They sound vile, two faced idiots.

Yes tell him when they are gone so they can't twist it around