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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to a wedding of someone I have never met in person

33 replies

drivingmisslazy · 14/09/2014 09:47

I got chatting to lady on a website (similar to this) 6 years ago, we had a lot in common and also became facebook friends. During this period we exchanged messages on at least a weekly basis, text messages and the occasional phonecall etc, 3 years ago she split up with her H and I was there at the end of an email (she lives 250 miles away) she said I was a great support through that time, I have been there through her divorce, meeting a new partner and relocating (now lives 50 miles away). She is getting married in a few months and has invited me to the wedding (well DH & Kids too), I happened to mention it to another friend who thinks its weird that I want to go considering we have never met.

Is it weird?

OP posts:
TwinkleDust · 14/09/2014 09:50

No, it is lovely.

treaclesoda · 14/09/2014 09:51

I would think it odd if you said you'd been chatting for 6 weeks on a website, but 6 years of chatting to each other one to one, and on facebook? Sounds reasonable to me, you probably know each other pretty well by now. In fact, you probably know her better than people that you interact with every day.

onestepbeyond · 14/09/2014 09:52

I don't think it's weird, you've known each other for six years and sound like good friends.

Mrsjayy · 14/09/2014 09:53

AWW thats lovely she values your friendship even though you have not met could you meet her before the wedding I don't know if I woul d go because I think I would feel awkward but I don't think it is weird.

FruVikingessOla · 14/09/2014 09:54

Not weird at all - have a great time.

Mrsjayy · 14/09/2014 09:56

I have 3 good online friends I have met them but only a few times I have known them years

Mrsjayy · 14/09/2014 09:58

You hear stories of people having penpals for 40 years online friends is just the modern version of that

Original poster
drivingmisslazy · 14/09/2014 10:00

Thank you ladies :)

I am quite a sociable person and not worried about not knowing anyone, in fact we have had quite a few laughs on f/b with her family so will be nice to meet them as well.

OP posts:
Pollywallywinkles · 14/09/2014 10:02

Not odd at all, it's lovely. Go and enjoy.

however · 14/09/2014 10:03

No. have fun.

seasavage · 14/09/2014 10:06

Have a great time. It's a special day and obviously she's been glad of your support over the years.

pieceoftoast · 14/09/2014 10:09

Not weird. I was invited to a friend I'd known online for 6 years' wedding too. Didn't go in the end but met her the following year as she lives closer now and we see each other regularly.

People marry each other after knowing each other online for less time fgs! No idea why online friendships are still stigmatised as 'weird' by many people.

stiffstink · 14/09/2014 10:13

I have a friend who is online only! Its been nearly 7 yrs. Lovely for you to be invited.

antimatter · 14/09/2014 10:13

not odd at all!

elsbethy · 14/09/2014 10:20

No idea why online friendships are still stigmatised as 'weird' by many people.

I was just about to write this. I've made some great friends online, and subsequently had some great days / nights out with them (no weddings yet, sadly!). But I know many people consider it weird.

OpiesOldLady · 14/09/2014 10:25

Not at all odd. In fact, a very good friend of mine who I'd only known online, travelled 250 miles with her husband to come to my hen night and then do a reading at my wedding.

We are very close, and have gone through deaths, pregnancies and births together. In fact some of my very best friends are ladies I have never actually met, or met through being online.

Pico2 · 14/09/2014 10:28

I think it's lovely and do go. What I think is a bit odd is that you now only live 50 miles apart, but haven't met.

DrCarolineTodd · 14/09/2014 10:49

I don't think it's weird but in your shoes I would and did meet the person first.

liquidstatehasrisenagain · 14/09/2014 11:00

I went to the wedding of a mumsnetter (although we met through another online forum) and it was the first time we had met in person. She is lovely and I consider her a great friend even though we only get to meet occaisionally. So much of our everyday lives are online now you really need to just consider it another way of meeting people.

I had a great time at the wedding btw!

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 14/09/2014 11:03

I too think this is lovely! Go and have a fab time x

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 14/09/2014 11:04

I think it's lovely and I'm sure even before the internet plenty of long distance penpals made huge journeys to be with someone they've never actually met before, to celebrate a special day with them.

Although given that she's only 50 miles away now I wonder why you haven't bothered to go and meet her before now. Perhaps you should!

PixieofCatan · 14/09/2014 11:09

YANBU. Though I think I would arrange to meet for coffee before the wedding, especially as you live so close to one another!

todayisnottheday · 14/09/2014 11:18

It's lovely. I don't really understand this thing that you can only be friends with people you meet. What defines a friend? To me it's someone you share with, rely on and are relied on and shared with in return. That doesn't require proximity imo. Perhaps your friend is worried you've been misled? It's certainly easier to misled online but given the length of time here it seems unlikely. Would she think the same if they moved away? Would they become not friends because you no longer see them? I'd hazard a guess that's she's being protective rather than weird though.

Anyway, enjoy the wedding! Smile

CecilyP · 14/09/2014 11:27

Of course it isn't weird; your friend sounds more like an old fashioned penpal, even though you communicate in a more more modern way (it's not as if she is just one of your 279 facebook 'friends') and you have now been friends for 6 years. The only odd thing is that you have not arranged to meet before, now that she lives so much closer and I would recommend that too.

Enjoy the wedding and have a great time!

hormonalandneedingcheese · 14/09/2014 11:41

No that's really nice. Maybe do as suggested and meet for a coffee beforehand?

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