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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To....A. Think they r lying! B. feel inadequate?

25 replies

Captainbarnacles1101 · 14/09/2014 09:14

My two youngest sons need sleep more than 2 hours in a row. They are up a lot in the night. Consequently my youngest is a real handful in the day. Strong willed and disobedient.

I am tired all the time and so my brother and sister in law offered to have them overnight so I could sleep. Which I did. All night bliss. However. When I went to collect the lads. I was told they slept all night from 8-8 and were very well behaved.

No I get the behaved bit because despite being buggers in the house I can take them anywhere but the sleep thing??

Were they lying? Or am I just crap?

OP posts:

seasavage · 14/09/2014 09:21

I think they're stretching the truth a bit.

DoYouThinkSheSawUs · 14/09/2014 09:22

Um, how old are your sons?

It is possible that due to the excitement of being somewhere else they got tired then slept. Or your BIL and SIL just didn't hear them as they are not so tuned in to your sons' rousing. Or maybe they knew that as mummy wasn't there there was no point in playing silly buggers all night?

I feel your pain though. Dd1 didn't sleep more than 2 hours in a row until she was 2.5
It turned out I was over stimulating her in trying to wear her out and be the perfect mummy. So now I don't do loads of craft stuff with her. We do ONE thing per day eg shopping or toddler group. She has one DVD on mid afternoon to zone out to. And she slept through from day 3 of doing this.... And still does unless poorly.

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 14/09/2014 09:24

How old are your children?

Original poster

Captainbarnacles1101 · 14/09/2014 09:25

My OH reckons my sil didn't hear them when they woke so they just went back to sleep. Which begs the question should I ignore them too? They are 3 and 4 so yes could also be that they realised I wasn't there and no point in playing silly buggers. I'm having a family summit today to try to put a plan in place to sort this once and for all.

OP posts:

DoYouThinkSheSawUs · 14/09/2014 09:34

I personally think at 3 and 4 they are old enough to understand they need to sleep. And I say that as a cosleeping, sling using bloody soft mum. I still bed share with my 3yo and my 10 month Old and use slings for both, but my 3 yo understands when I say go back to sleep (in a growl)

DoYouThinkSheSawUs · 14/09/2014 09:35

(Now could you help me with potty training my fucking stubborn 3yo pretty please? )

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 14/09/2014 09:35

At three and four they are quite old enough to understand bed time means sleep time.

Didyouevah · 14/09/2014 09:37

I clicked on this and KNEW it was going to be about sleep!

As a one off it could have happened.

however · 14/09/2014 09:38

They're old enough to know what they can get away with, with you. That doesn't mean you're crap. It means they're comfortable enough with you to cause a fuss in the middle of the night.

That said, when mine were that age, i didn't treat them like babies when they woke, with cuddling and shushing. I shuffled in and manhandled them back to bed and mumbled "g' sleep orrite" and shuffled out again.

NickiFury · 14/09/2014 09:40

My three year old nephew never slept a night through from the day he was born, except when he comes here, I'm not at all hard arse or a perfect parent but I think that kids often do play their parents up. I was an unknown quantity to my nephew so probably best not to push it . You're not crap and neither is my nephews Mum, different environment, different outcome, that's all .

Original poster

Captainbarnacles1101 · 14/09/2014 09:47

Right! Seriously. Takin mo more shit! Wee buggers are so not gonna manipulate me anymore! I'm an adult FFS!!!

OP posts:

CasperGutman · 14/09/2014 09:54

Is your brother's house quieter? My BIL and his family recently moved from a very urban area to a village and their 2yo slept through for the first time in the new house. They haven't looked back.

Original poster

Captainbarnacles1101 · 14/09/2014 09:55

It's funny Casper but when I change their bed room round they sleep longer which is weird lol.

OP posts:

NickiFury · 14/09/2014 10:00

Bed time is bed time. The End. Fair enough when babies but from about 18 months onwards, once mine were in bed they did NOT get up, not ever, they were returned sharply to bed with no fanfare. They soon learned it was pointless to get up. Also I think making sure they're tired is important and be realistic if they're not tired then they're just not going to sleep at that neat 7 pm bedtime the HV recommends. Put them to bed an hour later and save yourself a lot of frustration. If they wake during the night, I must admit I do let mine in with me if they're scared but they never did it more than a couple of times. I think just knowing they could was enough for them.

Thomyorke · 14/09/2014 10:16

My DS has medical reason for not sleeping, however he sleeps well in new surrounding which is probably down to being anxious. Do not underestimate the effects of not sleeping does to you and the damages it does to your will power, be easy on yourself.

Writerwannabe83 · 14/09/2014 11:09

My sister had huge problems with her daughters sleep, she's always up and going into my sisters bed and generally being a pain. However, when the little girl sleeps at my house she sleeps really well and sleeps in her bed all night.

It's strange but it happens.

hormonalandneedingcheese · 14/09/2014 11:56

Sounds like perhaps they know they can take advantage of you while they don't take any shit? My DN plays up less for me when eating because I'll not pander but plays up more when it comes to other things which I don't know how to deal with like my sis does.

blanklook · 14/09/2014 13:50

It's funny Casper but when I change their bed room round they sleep longer which is weird lol.

My dd slept all night, no probs for nearly 2 years, until I re-arranged her room. Apart from furniture being in a different place, nothing else had changed, yet she just would not and could not settle. Co-incidentally, I read something about people having better quality and longer sleep if they were lying north-south and something about gypsies always lining their vardas that way, native peoples choosing to sleep in that direction etc. Usually I'd have said pfft and ignored all of that, but sleep deprivation overrides logic and off I shot upstairs with a compass and sure enough, the previous cot position was N-S and I'd changed it to E-W.

Out of desperation, I just turned the cot to face N-S without re-organising the room to its previous layout and she slept through the night.

This is anecdote and it's a sample of one, so it's hardly verifying the principle, but if you want to give it a try, at least it won't cost anything to see if it works for you or not.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 14/09/2014 14:42

Excellent! They can have them again weekly monthly!

Just think of the sleep!

Bulbasaur · 14/09/2014 16:15

That's what kids do. They only misbehave and push boundaries the most where they feel safest. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the place they feel most comfortable is at home.

redexpat · 14/09/2014 16:23

See I've heard east-west is better for sleeping. Better get your google on OP!

Ratracerunner · 14/09/2014 16:24

My 4 year old is trying to get into bed with is at least once a night and up 6am every day. Regardless of when he goes to bed.
He stayed at our friends house for a week and never once tried getting up in the night and slept till 9 every morning.
To say I was astonished is an understatement!!
Mind you, they don't wake up for their own kids, so he may have just given up trying!

OwlCapone · 14/09/2014 16:26

I think a parent is more likely to wake for their children than any other adult would.

Original poster

Captainbarnacles1101 · 14/09/2014 17:49

I'm away to buy a compass.

OP posts:

notagainffffffffs · 14/09/2014 17:53

Yeah in our house theres no snuggly chat times after 8-just bed time and a pat on the head then runaway :D

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