AIBU to not know what the hell is wrong with me?

[KateSpade]

I've had a bit of a hard time lately, nothing I wouldn't normally be able to handle, but I just can't stop crying - things keep playing on my mind & I'm just not sure what to do next? So I thought having a vent on here may help.

So a relative of mine is seriously ill, he has Asbestosis and Cancer. They are giving him treatment to help with the pain rather than make him better - because they can't, but I've been visiting and the image of him just sitting their not doing anything - yet again because he can't do anything, doesn't sit easy with me.

Yesterday I attended a relatives funeral who died very suddenly and seeing his parents & wife crying just haunts me, I know no-one enjoys funerals but seeing someone burying a loved one, just haunts me - it always has done with every funeral I've ever attended.

I'm now watching Philomena, which I know is a bad idea (I'm adopted) but it's a good film, so guys what do I do now to move forward?

Any advice?

Sorry you've had a bad time.

I don't have answers, I'm not 'qualified' - just some ideas...

It all sounds incredibly stressful. I think crying a lot is not unreasonable given what has happened.

I have a friend who has found mindfulness/meditation incredibly useful in getting her through a hard time. I know there is a lot of evidence for the benefits of meditation.

Exercise is good for helping stress.

Do you have someone you can talk to in rl about how you feel?

bumping for any better suggestions

When you say things are playing on your mind Kate do you mean thinking about what's happening/happened or worrying about things that might happen?

Oh crikey Kate that's a bit shit.

Do you normally cry much? I go through phases, but certain films or songs just open a major hydrant IYSWIM

You sound very down, understandably so as you are dealing with a lot.
Is there anybody you could talk to about how you are feeling?
Could you get an appointment with your GP to ask for a referral for a counsellor maybe?
When I am feeling shit, I find that gentle excercise helps, even when I don't feel like it. Walking, swimming, yoga, maybe you could give one of these a go?

Oh god watching that film was a stupid decision - I'm not bothered about being adopted at all, but it's something that seemed a bit real to me & now I'm a bit like should I try & find her, should I not?

It's more the fact that it's actually happening now, that my uncles just sat their now on his own & my cousins dead MrsMinton

Everything's happened at once, I've been fired recently & I've not been very well, I need to get my act together & sort everything out but I'm just not getting their.

The thing is, I start a new job on Monday, I cannot cry on my first day!

Thank you Kate. I was trying to understand a little more to see if it might be anxiety issues starting. What you are feeling is totally understandable given so much is happening to you and people you love. Scrumpybetty's suggestion of counselling is great. Cruse are very good at offer support in lots of different ways and you self refer. I've put the link here. They helped my mom immensely when my dad died suddenly.

www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services

Thankyou very much for the suggestion. I have asked my doctor for a referral to counselling, as I know I will end up really depressed if I don't do something about it.

I'm just at the point where I know something's wrong, but I can't quite put my finger on what exactly it is!