AIBU and weird to not be looking forward to going on maternity leave with dc2?

[dottytablecloth]

And having 2 under twos at home?

I love my ds so much bit I'm definitely not a 'motherly' type. I find days at home quite long and I don't like the unpredictability of babies.

Dc2 due in November and I'm delighted we will hopefully have 2 healthy little people, I'm worried about it especially the early days.

I find it easier being at work sometimes and I'm a teacher which isn't exactly known to be a relaxing profession.

I feel the same. I'm only just pregnant and feel like I have my life back a bit with DD now being 15 months. I think back to mat leave and worry about the isolation and mundaneness and exhaustion and the fact that the only conversations I had were about the baby. I bloody love being at work and using my brain.

I was off eleven months last time. I'm going back quicker this time all being well. And I'm keeping DD in nursery three days a week. I'm paid in full for six months and will have leave as well so this is a luxury I can afford thankfully.

I spend a lot of time thinking about quite how it will work. I don't think I'm the first person to have two kids so presumably it will?!?

I didn't really enjoy maternity leave with DD and was very thankful to be back in work. I felt dull, boring and a bit inadequate.

I'm hoping this time round it'll be actually easier. DD will stay in preschool at least part time, til she starts school so the baby and I will have a routine based around that.

It is normal to be a little bit worried because it will be hard, but there will be some lovely fun days too. Try not to be too down, or maybe have a wee chat with your midwife?

Once they are older it is a lovely gap, they will be so close.

My tips are make sure you get out every day, even just out to the garden if you have one. Make sure it is completely safe, and wrap them up warm and cosy and the fresh air will be good for everyone.

I found mat leave a struggle. I missed my job and the feeling that I was good at something. I could have gone back at any time but stayed at home with dd because I felt like it was the 'right' thing to do. I'm glad I did. She needed me when she was tiny. However, I am happier being a working mum. I have half a day off a week with her and finish asap on the other days because I miss her so much, despite all that, I couldn't be a sahm. YANBU.

Keep your older child in childcare at least pt if you can afford it as it makes life much easier.

It is easier the second time round as you know that everything changes. IME anyway. Not such a shock to the system.

I found my first maternity leave awful, mainly.

There's no getting around it, small babies are boring. They eat, sleep, poo, cry, do very little else for months.

On mat leave 1 I found myself 'wandering'...dh was in work, my parents and friends were in work. I would go to town for the sake of it, wander a local park and go on walks...but although I had ds1 with me, I was still 'alone' iyswim.

Mat leave 2 was so, so different, because I also had ds1, who was 2. It was harder...getting ready, going out, with 2 was just so much more of a faff. Dealing with a tantruming toddler and screaming newborn at the same time is not exactly brilliant.

BUT...I also had company. Ds1 chattering away constantly. Walking in the park didn't feel like pointless wandering, alone, with a sleeping newborn who knew no different. It was something to do with ds1, watching him enjoy the walk, pushing him on the swings when ds2 was sleeping in the pram.

I wasn't trying to convince myself at 12.30pm to go and make a sandwich for myself, to eat alone whilst the baby slept, or thinking sometimes that maybe I couldn't be bothered and i'd just wait for dinner. I had to make a decent lunch, for ds1 at least, which meant me too.

Having another child at home with you and a newborn forces you (in a good way) to carry on, to do 'stuff'. It makes it much more enjoyable IMO.

I agree with LilacCroc. First mat leave was so lonely. Second time around, I not only have my little buddy to hang out with but I also know all the baby groups, kid friendly cafés etc to go to. And I have more friends who are mothers. This time has been much more fun. Of course, that could also be due to DD being a (marginally) better sleeper than DS.

I'm like you op, don't feel particularly motherly, or at least I don't class myself as a natural. I also like routine, so small babies and their lack of any kind of routine don't suit me.

BUT, I'm currently nine months into Mat Leave 2 and it's absolutely flying by. Took a year out with ds1 (now 3.7) and am taking a year out with ds2. Some days are long and boring, despite ds1 being funny and chatty (just not the same as adult conversation). I think I'm enjoying this mat leave more as I'm more confident and relaxed as a parent, most days.

Two under two does sound like hard work though - hope you have plenty of support.

I'm sure if you're kinda dreading it, it won't turn out to be half as bad as you thought. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you anyway!