To wish this person wouldn't keep trying to drag me off into private conversations

[Vintagejazz]

A colleague I work with never seems to want to join in the general chat and laugh going on around the table during coffee breaks, but will constantly try to drag whoever is sitting beside her into a sideways (and usually much less interesting) conversation. I avoid sitting beside her as much as possible because of this, but AIBU to think that constantly trying to have private conversations with people who are obviously part of, and enjoying, the general chat going on is rude and selfish?

I think it's fairly common in group situations for individuals to have sideways discussions between themselves. I don't think she's trying to be rude just sounds like you don't like her very much

I find it difficult to join group conversations and have recently discovered I have some hearing loss. (Just one possible reason).

I imagine she might be shy or of a more introvert nature. I am an introvert I find big group conversations tricky sometimes and generally prefer one on one or small group chat.... horses for courses....if you don't like it move away, or try and engage her on different topics, or at least try not to label her 'rude and selfish' for trying to talk to you. YABU.

If it's 'whoever' she sits near that she does this to, it's probably because she prefers one-to-one conversations to group ones. SHe may be shy - or simply hard of hearing.Unless her preferred topics of conversation are malicious gossip about other people or Daily-Mailish thinly-veiled racism or something, I'd suggest just putting up with it and trying not to sit next to her.

No, she's definitely not shy. She's one of those people who always turns conversations around to herself and her family, and if the general conversation isn't allowing her to do this she tries to pull whoever's nearest her into a one on one conversation.

You can't talk to her and everyone else at the same time? That's the point of group conversations, you're talking to everyone. You just chime into the big group when they say something interesting to drag her attention back to it. :)

I have a ton of side conversations during group talks, I also keep talking to the group. It's not hard to do. Group talks are the only time you can cut someone off to say something to someone else without being rude.

No, I don't mean that she just occasionally throws in a private remark for me to respond to. She actually pulls you away from the main conversation and into a completely different one (usually about herself) so that it's impossible to still concentrate on the main chat going on.