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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner works away sometimes

18 replies

london13 · 11/09/2014 23:06

Hi ....does anyone have any hints/ tips / experience regarding how to cope with a partner working away? Basically,im finding it difficult as when he is away , I am in my appartment myself and he / his company are out at night in restaurants and bars
Just wondered if people have experienced this and how they cope Thanks

OP posts:
pinkr · 11/09/2014 23:10

Jammies tv chocolate. Enjoy

Elysianfields · 11/09/2014 23:10

Get a hobby? Join a club? Go out with workmates? A million things to be honest, you surely don't need to sit in and wait for him!

Spoken as the one who travels a lot for work, I don't expect my dp to sit in state waiting!

seagull70 · 11/09/2014 23:11

What is it that you're not happy about? The fact that your on your own or the fact that he's dining out and socialising?

Do you resent him?

Or are you asking for advice on how to fill your time and occupy yourself?

RedSoloCup · 11/09/2014 23:12

It depends if OP has kids though, not so easy to get out if you're stuck looking after the kids.

littlewhitebag · 11/09/2014 23:13

My DH works away loads. Right now he is in China. He goes to many, many dinners. He hates them all and can't wait to get home.

I have no problem with it at all. I can watch what i want on TV and if he is staying away i get the bed all to myself.

I suppose it depends what stage you are in your relationship. We have been married 29 years and my DD's are age 16 and 22 so i have them around when DH is away.

What is it you struggle with?

LittleBearPad · 11/09/2014 23:13

What are you actually asking.

I've done the whole working away thing. It's not all that great and you very quickly get sick of hotel meals.

ThatSmellsLikePoo · 11/09/2014 23:14

In the nicest possible way - get a life!! You're wasting everything just sitting there - are you fretting? Do you not think you absolutely deserve to be enjoying your time too? I love when mine goes to conferences etc - it's sheer bliss to slob out with my fave dinner and a stack of unwatched Montalbanos on Sky+!

mindthegap79 · 11/09/2014 23:18

Sleep diagonally, enjoy.

ilovesooty · 11/09/2014 23:19

What are you struggling with? Loneliness? Jealousy? Resentment? Childcare?

CantSleepWontSleep · 11/09/2014 23:20

Do you have children?
My dh works away mon-fri and has done for the best part of 14 years. With no kids it was great as I had a busy social life of my own. With 3 kids it's harder as I can't really go out, but I don't have time to be bored on account of said 3 children and a full time job!

whois · 12/09/2014 01:05

Um, you do what you would normally do? Work, see friends, see family, cook, do some chores, play sport, go for a run, watch TV, read.

+1 for sleeping diagonally. Lush.

Writerwannabe83 · 12/09/2014 02:47

My DH regularly goes away for work - usually for a week at a time - and I love it!!!

Tidy house, no sport on the TV and the peace and quiet!! Smile

JoandMax · 12/09/2014 03:50

Mine is away most weeks for a few days, I quite like it!! I eat early with the DCs then have a lovely bath and read a book, watch what I want on TV and get an early night!

It also means we're really happy to see eachother when he does get back

deXavia · 12/09/2014 04:01

DH and I both have to travel. Must admit I enjoy the travel -nice crisp white hotel sheets and visiting some fascinating parts of the world, new people, new cultures. Sure I miss home and family and hate airports with a passion Wink but as with everything, it's all about what you make it. Equally when I'm at home and DH is away I love sleepovers with the kids, seeing friends and getting sorted.
Reading back that sounds like we never see each other - we do! And then that's great too.

But what bothers you - the loneliness? Jealousy at him being out/with others? And yes do you have kids or not?

There is lots to do to get round these points. But at the end of the day some people/couples/families hate it and it doesn't work for them. I guess the question is - if it really doesn't work for you, then would you DP change jobs or not?

Aebj · 12/09/2014 04:21

I do love my husband but I also love it when he's away. Watch what I want on TV , bed to myself. My kids are my social life and they come with me wherever I go. The kids friends parents have become my friends, we spend weekends together, the kids have play dates and sleep overs at friends house , so sometimes I have 4 kids + sometimes I have none.

grobagsforever · 12/09/2014 06:17

OP are you very young? Or perhaps you suffer with anxiety?

Original poster
london13 · 12/09/2014 06:51

Thanks so much for the messages ....really helpful .We don't have kids .To be honest , I do get a bit anxious/ insecure about him being out with others.....

OP posts:
FamiliesShareGerms · 12/09/2014 06:57

Do you have any reason not to trust him, OP?

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