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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be slightly annoyed about DD2s homework...and to tell her not to do it....

99 replies

unlucky83 · 11/09/2014 22:26

First I have to say I think a bit of homework isn't a bad thing and I don't recall ever feeling like this before ...
DD2 (7) gets reading homework once a week, ideally to be returned asap but they get a week. No problem.
She gets some more home on a Tue to be returned by Fri. It is this homework I'm annoyed with.
First time wise it is a bit of a struggle - she has an after school activity on these three nights. As the weather is still nice she is also enjoying playing with her friends after school. I'm a SAHM and I'm sure it would be harder if I was WOHM.
But my biggest gripe - I strongly believe their homework should be their own work and therefore they should be able to do it with maybe a little parental guidance if they really need it.
So the homework is some maths work (they have done in school), learn some spellings (20) and a spelling activity. All fine. And something else.
This 'something else' has been to 'research' something and do xyz. The 'research' - with three days and the local library only open for one of those days -is obviously 'google'. Most people have internet access at home now but I don't think the school should expect them to. And that isn't actually 'research' in the true sense of the word - no independent thought required.

And what they are 'researching' is potentially complicated. Not this but eg How does a seed grow? Google obviously turns up things suitable for everyone from preschool to a Phd student.
I am finding that every week I am having to help her more than I think I should (and that is not laziness on my behalf - more I am doing it for her - choosing the content etc).

And from what she has said on this week's work they haven't covered it at school at all (or she was totally not paying attention and I don't think that is the case).
I have spent 30+ mins finding an appropriate diagram from hundreds, explaining it to her. It would have taken her literally hours. And then finding the answers was equally tricky - I found myself starting to tell her the answers.
So I've told her if she can't do it to leave it.
It is not my homework ...maybe I'm missing something?
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
WookieCookiee · 13/09/2014 15:14

OP YANBU to be annoyed and I agree it is hard to know what to do re telling them not to do it!
the homework we (note "we" not "my DSs") get given is impossible for them to do by themselves. Way too much "research", as their topic last term was WW1 & WWII there is no way they could research by themselves (safeguarding issues), and there was absolutely no tie -in to the teaching framework as they got a grid a with 12 "projects" to choose from, ranging from "make a collage about WWII" Hmm to "write a menu for 3 days with the family's ration book".
We are given no resources to help, and no instructions- eg told to label a pre WW1 map of Europe to show who was on "our" side and who was "the enemy" Hmm (no mention of the neutrals!). No map given, no list of countries.
All it is teaching them is to copy something from the internet, which may or may not be wrong. And IMO it excludes children who do not have internet, paper, a printer, someone to help.
Or there is usually something like a "make a cake in the shape of [insert something relates to topic here] "

I haven't had this term's grid yet but if if it is the same sort of rubbish I will be emailing the chair of Governors.

ercolercol · 13/09/2014 15:27

homework: there are NO proven benefits to children of ANY kind in any of the studies undertaken in homework benefits.

There is no point at all. Unless your child loves doing homework.

Read this book: Alfie Kohn: The Homework Myth.
www.amazon.co.uk/The-Homework-Myth-Children-Thing/dp/0738211117/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1410618136&sr=8-5&keywords=alfie+kohn

Ds is 7 and I am looking forward to discussing this with his school. Grin

If the situation is dreadful then go in to ask the teacher 'what is the goal of this homework' to find out WHY they are setting it.

Takver · 13/09/2014 17:51

I've just re-read my previous comment - clearly, the chap isn't saying that primary education is of no benefit, only primary homework! ercoercol - I thought that there were studies showing that a moderate amount of reinforcement homework at secondary level could be worthwhile? (Seems reasonable to me - start an essay in class, with guidance, finish at home - allows more time for the teacher to cover other topics)

fuckingpamela · 13/09/2014 20:13

Schools must set homework because they love the extra work, marking and backlash from parents then Hmm
It beggars belief that parents do not feel a little independent learning at home with a parent to supervise can be beneficial.

ercolercol · 13/09/2014 20:36

It beggars belief that parents do not feel a little independent learning at home with a parent to supervise can be beneficial.

Actually the studies show that when homework isn't set, families tend to do more learning together and children are more engaged with school topics.

Read the book, it is very interesting. Though your interest level probably depends on if your homelife is being destroyed by pointless homework or not.

3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole · 13/09/2014 20:59

I do feel it can benefit my children. I just find it a struggle time wise on my own with two young school children and a toddler

loveandsmiles · 13/09/2014 21:12

YANBU!

Its ok when DC get spelling / reading / maths that they sit and do themselves but get the rage when they have to research on the internet (how dare the school assume we have a computer) or if they have to make something - last time it was a castle!

Happy for them to be making models in school and doing research there but I don't want to spend all weekend doing it Grin

PineneedleSoup · 13/09/2014 21:23

"Home life destroyed by pointless homework" Jesus I have 3 primary kids in 2 consecutive years and certainly don't find our home life is destroyed.They just get on and do it because we've trained them to.A good grounding for secondary and very beneficial for us as we can see where they are,what they're doing and how they cope with different tasks.

Panzee · 13/09/2014 21:41

Please don't use the Unconditional parenting guru as your argument. Takver has supplied a link to a divisive yet much more credible person, John Hattie.

ILovePud · 13/09/2014 21:43

I think a little independent learning at home with a parent is beneficial but homework feels like such a chore after a long day at school. My kids are interested in science and history and left to their own devices they want to discuss and research these things on the internet and in books with me. I think they get more from this than reluctantly going through the motions of homework which eats up our evenings. They also like My Maths (God knows why I hate maths but they are good at it and enjoy challenge in this area) and will go on that of there own volition. I'd be happier if schools just directed parents to resources like this without the pressure of expectation that homework will be done to a tight timescale. Kids and parents can watch tutorials, practice questions and get feedback on how they're getting on to their hearts content so no need to be down at the school asking for extra work!

nikki1978 · 13/09/2014 22:00

I hate homework. The stuff my kids get is just so bloody crap. Every week are these mini projects - make a poster or a booklet to share in class. This week they both have to make up a game that other children in the class can play - one based on times tables and one on roman numerals. I suppose they are supposed to be fun but we all find them stressful to fit in and boring to do.

ilovechristmas1 · 13/09/2014 22:16

out of interest,this is to the teachers

what happens if the child never comes in with the homework set and never completes it??

Deux · 13/09/2014 22:51

OP, has the school/class teacher given you guidance as to how long it should take to complete the homework?

I've found this really useful and it kind of takes the pressure off everyone. Last year, in Y1, homework excluding reading was not supposed to take more than a half hour. The teacher encouraged parents to stick to that time.

If DD didn't manage to complete I just attached a note explaining why/what she was struggling with.

Panzee · 13/09/2014 22:59

ilovechristmas1 in my class, nothing.

HappydaysArehere · 16/09/2014 20:13

happydaysarehere, we appear to have the same nickname with the exception that I have a capital letter beginning the Are... Hope this doesn't cause annoyance! I haven't come across your nickname before. Doesn't bother me but how do you feel?

Theas18 · 16/09/2014 20:20

Does no one have a " child's encyclopaedia" or similar these days?

Does research always mean google?

Agree it's a total pain just having a few nights after school though jot the weekend!

JustAShopGirl · 16/09/2014 20:37

But the library is not always open and I have found a child's encyclopaedia is either very expensive for a detailed enough set, (like they have in the library) or not enough depth on any one subject and just about useless.

britnay · 16/09/2014 21:01

Doesn't your child's school have a library? Surely she could go there during her lunch break and the librarian could help her find suitable books to complete her homework?

JustAShopGirl · 16/09/2014 21:07

the op is talking about primary school homework.

our primary school "library" consisted of 200 books on shelves in the corridor and no children were allowed inside other than to go to the loo.

JustAShopGirl · 16/09/2014 21:07

at lunchtime

britnay · 16/09/2014 21:11

OK, well the libraries in the primary schools that I went to were large, had lots of books, and all children were actively encouraged to use it as much as possible. I guess its just one of those things to look in to when choosing a school.

outtolunchagain · 16/09/2014 21:19

Very few state primaries have librarians now , and most make all the children go outside at lunchtime where they are supervised by lunchtime assistants.Teachers need yo have lunch too

britnay · 16/09/2014 21:21

That is very very sad.

Original poster
unlucky83 · 16/09/2014 22:25

Thea - I said earlier we do have reference books - but this was quite specific I doubt you would find the relevant amount of detail in any of them - this is quite specific and a modern thing...
The local library is open for one evening - but it is quite small. We can order books in (and we do often) but wouldn't get them in time with so little notice...
The school is a relatively small one so doesn't have a big library (I worked in a PS in early 1990s that had a lovely big library but the school was 4+ times the size of DD's small school - (and technology/science is moving so fast that keeping reference books up to date would be expensive!)

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