Teacher invading pupil's personal space - how should pupil tell teacher to back off?

[Aargh1]

D is 12. One of her female teachers always comes too close when leaning over to help with some work. Invades her personal space. Not only to my D. What should I tell her to say that will not offend or blow it out of proportion? If a colleague did this to me I'd just tell them to back off (in a jokey way) but it's different with a pupil as the teacher is in a position of power. AIBU to be worrying?

surf you would really be happy with receiving (or your boss receiving) an anonymous note criticising your performance at work? You can't put the complaint in context or perspective because you don't know who sent it and therefore you can't defend yourself/or apologise properly.

For all we know every single other child is complete fine about how this teacher operates but an anonymous note will lead the teacher to feel uncomfortable with all her pupils, not exactly conducive to a harmonious working environment.

If someone sent an anonymous note about me to my work I'd be absolutely furious.

I teach my children to have the courage of their convictions.

OP If this is a big issue for your DD I'd suggest she very politely address it with the teacher, either quietly at the time or in privately after class.

She's 12 yo it's a good time to start learning how to stand up for yourself politely and effectively.

If she's not prepared to broach the teacher about it, possibly it's not that big a problem.

Can't see say 'oh you're a bit too close'

At 12 she should really be able to say ghat

Each time the teacher is too close your daughter can say "excuse me, but I am going to sneeze" and then get her tissue out to blow her nose. Not really a head teacher matter.

At 12 I was too shy to knock on a classroom door and walk in even with a legitimate reason. No way I would have dared to talk to a teacher about personal space.
The student mentor is a good idea, or maybe your daughter's form tutor could help.

Pudkat - I like that idea, 'excuse me I'm going to sneeze'.

Bright either you were an unusually ballsy 12 year old or you've forgotten how significant that power imbalance between teacher and student feels at that age.

I don't think that the power balance would be effectively redressed by an anonymous email nor do I think that it's a good life less for a child about how to deal with uncomfortable situations.

^^ lesson

And Surf I was very shy at 12yo. I'm extremely assertive now, I learned how to be because my parents encourage my to be brave in difficult situations, not take the easy way out.

somewhere Well done to your dd and her school, I think her having a quiet word with her teacher after class is the best call.

IT's really not a power imbalance that can be altered IMO. It's just a given.
The email need not necessarily be anonymous, but at that age I would never have consented to having this issue raised other than anonymously.

It's hard to know without seeing it if the teacher is doing something which is causing issues for the class (as the OP implies) or just for one student. If it were the former, then frankly I'd have no problem with an anonymous email. If it was the former then I'd probably tell her to deal with it or suck it up on the basis that it's likely just an individual being a bit tetchy rather than an actual inappropriate behaviour that needs to be addressed.

'Invading her personal space.' ???
No wonder Michael Wilshaw is moved to comment on the 'numbers of school leavers (who) lacked the basic personal skills needed to get by in the world of work or university.'(Daily Telegraph 11.9.2014).
I suggest your daughter concentrates more on her work and less on criticizing a teacher who is simply trying to help her improve.

I agree that an anonymous email is a shit idea.

Can you, as her mother, email the teacher and explain your DD needs a bit more personal space around her?

former, then latter, not former then former - duh!

You might want to get your DD to demonstrate what this perceived invasion is beforehand though.

Much better idea; revert to classroom behaviour of former years. Teacher's desk sited at front of class, all pupils face her; when pupil needs help she leaves her desk and stands and waits at teacher's desk while teacher, seated, deals with her work. That way, no ground for nasty little accusations to flourish.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and advice. I did not want to make a mountain out of a molehill and I agree these things can escalate if a complaint is made.

However I don't agree that a young girl should 'suck it up' when a teacher leans right over her, making contact and in a way that she can't really move away. To give an example another pupil who had slid off her seat to move away was told crossly to sit back down.

Girls (and boys) are or should be told that they have a right to their physical integrity and I think they should feel able to move away from someone who gets too close. I was trying to find a solution that supported D in rejecting what is in fact unwanted physical contact (albeit not sexual) without going overboard. But my view would be same even if there was no actual physical contact but still 'in your face'.

Anyway as a result of all the comments I have made D some suggestions which hopefully should give the teacher the message without creating too much embarrassment. Thanks again. You all made me think!

As someone said above it can be a cultural issue.
We need to know if the teacher is breaking the law - hands up the knickers, pushing her nipples - when of course action needs to be taken.
The awful fat sexist liberal MP man and a huge load of sex pests in the UK do it every day in offices and bars - they get very close in a way you both know is sexual and yet they do not go as far as your being able to prove a sexual offence. He also touched legs etc and things like that. I suspect the case here with the teacher though is not in that category.

If it's just she touches her arm when looking at the work the daughters needs to learn tolerance and that some people are more touching than others and to learn to be tolerant of differences.

Aargh I do agree that having your space invaded is unpleasant and you daughter does need to develop strategies to deal with this, it is a hard thing to do, I hope it works out.

I hate anyone standing or sitting too close to me, and feel a rage if someone chooses a seat right beside or behind me in an empty cinema, church or bus.
But it's one of those things you just have to put up with. Some people just don't have a great sense of personal space so unless they're doing something inappropriate you just have to put up with it.

I think complaining to the Head could come across as a bit petty. I'd choose my battles if I were you.

Oh, Surfsup1, the early forties in France would have been a blast for you.

Anonymous email to say your dd's "personal space" is being invaded... Wow.
And somewhereoverthewatetfall, the school offered to change classes around to get your child away from a teacher invading her space? I don't believe a word of it.

I agree with Goblin,I also think that your dd should just discreetly move back a bit. I imagine there's probably a lot of teenage drama involved hence the teacher telling the other girl to sit back down