To ask if you would want to get a phone call from school about this?

[HereWeGoOnTheWheelAgain]

My DD is in Year 9 and has never been in any serious trouble before. Teachers have always told me that she is a bright, hard working, polite and well mannered young lady and has always had excellent reports throughout her schooling career. She is by no means perfect though and can be a bit dippy and forgetful sometimes and has had a couple of detentions throughout secondary school but not many and usually it's for forgetting things like the odd bit of homework.

Because she's never been in serious trouble we've never had phone calls from school to report back on any bad behaviour or similar - in fact I've only had calls from school a couple of times in primary school when she was ill and needed collecting. Never in secondary though.

So imagine my surprise when this afternoon I received a call from her school to let me know that she (along with a group of other students) had all been removed from their textiles lesson and all been given detention and forced to work in isolation for the duration of that lesson. As I've never received a call from them regarding other dentitions before and considering the fact she had been removed from the lesson I was thinking "shit, what has she done?". However it turns out that she and the rest of them had forgotten to bring in a piece of material for that lesson. I admit I did say "is that all?" because I was imagining something terrible had happened but alas that's all there was to it.

My DD has since been given a talking to by me to remind her that she really does need to get organised and take steps to make sure she remembers things. Her after school detention (which is next week) is being supported by me and I also support the fact they took the kids out of the lesson as they couldn't really do the work without it. So it has nothing to do with thinking my daughter can do no wrong but AIBU to think it is odd that they phoned me over this?

Like I said they've never phoned me for things like this before so I don't know if it's a new thing for this school or not. Would this be the norm elsewhere? I should add that everyone who forgot it had their parents called, not just her.

More importantly would you want to be called in this situation to let you know that your secondary age child had forgot something?

That seems a little extreme. Why not just put the pupils into isolation? No need to phone the parents.

If it were at DS' school I would just have a comment in his planner.

The problem is that its not a one off, its a regular thing that your dd is not bringing things into class.

I wouldnt expect to be called the first time dd forgot something, but if its a regular thing they are ringing to make you aware that this needs addressing.

Seems overkill but maybe they have some parents who would be down their like a charging bull to defend their little darlings honour and demand explanations as to why school didn't contact them.

I think detention for a first offence is a bit overkill too though!

Sounds a bit OTT.

Ah I retract the last paragraph I missed she is a regular offender!

I should add that the school always send copies of detention slips out to parents anyway with the reason for the detention written on. So it's not like I wouldn't have found out the reason for her detention anyway.

It was the head of textiles who I spoke to, it wasn't her teacher, although her teacher was the one who took them all up to the head of textile's office. She sounded completely pissed off on the phone that's also why I thought something really bad at happened. However I guess she's not going to like me much now I said "is that all?"

And there not their.

FFS it's like they removed my brain with DD3.

Don't they have to let you know in advance if your child has a detention after school? Just thinking of the logistics of getting home afterwards.

I read the OP to mean that a few times during her three years at school she's forgotten things not repeatedly in this particular lesson. Seems a bit OTT to bother you about it, maybe they should ave put a note in her homework planner for you so see. That said at least it's only a five minute call.

Is it a rough school?

Maybe the school have changed the way they deal with these sanctions. I have noticed with my dc's secondary school they have had a overhaul of things like rewards & discipline since July. maybe it's the same with your dd's school?

Yes MomOfABeast that's what I meant. She's forgotten a couple things over the last couple of years but I wouldn't say it was a regular thing. For instance last year she forgot her maths homework (left it on the kitchen counter) and another time she forgot her notepad for art. She was given detention for both of those things but those were the only two detentions she had last year.

When I say she can be dippy and forgetful, that side of her is mostly at home. She does manage to pull it together for school, barring the odd one or two one offs. This is backed up by her teachers at parents evenings and reports.

you got a call because she forgot something?? dear lord, what time they must have on their hands. I only ever get calls if DS or DD have been in a fight or are suspected truanting or if I need to go in and see the depute.

It does seem rather OTT, but it is the beginning of the year (is it a new teacher by any chance?) and they are setting standards for the rest of the year.

Quite understand that "Is that all?" is what you would say as a parent, having feared the worst. However, as a teacher you might see it differently, so you might like to drop the teacher/head of department a tactful email thanking them for the call and saying that you understand the situation and that you will work with her to improve her organisation.

Maybe they are trying to keep standards and wish to inform parents there will be no excuses.
isn't y9 when they start getting tougher with them as well, I seem to remember this with my ds x2.

Hmm reading between the lines, it sounds like the teacher was fed up and marched them up to HoD for them to deal with. As a former HoD, I would have been fairly hacked off to have to deal pupils who had forgotten something in my free lesson, especially if it's school policy to ring parents if pupils are taken out of a lesson for whatever lesson and sorry I would sound fairly annoyed on the phone too as I would be really fed up of losing my free to deal with it especially something quite minor. In any school I've worked at, the class teacher would have just dealt with something like that and not passed it up.

I'd be a little irritated if they called me to say DD forgot something. Detentions don't require phone calls.

At least in my school in the US you never got calls home over a detention, or even notes. Parents found out anyway if students had to serve them after school and needed to be picked up.

Sounds like they may have a particular problem with students forgetting things for textiles and are clamping down on it. Or they've overhauled their procedures. Or it was a bit of a whim to phone all the parents, but a whim like that would cause a lot of work for the Head of department, so seems least likely. If a whole lot of them forgot they either have a communication problem or a school culture problem, so I cna see why they may decide to escalate things. What did she forget?

I don't think I would be upset about being phoned though. It sounds like a small issue, but it must be a big distraction in a class, having to deal with a whole section of the class not having the required materials (of course they can't actually require students to provide materials in most cases, so they may be on dodgy ground in that respect, but it sounds like you think she should have taken in whatever it is, so that's probably moot).