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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit surprised by this?

15 replies

bebebringingup · 11/09/2014 13:53

I'm doing NCT antenatal classes because apparently, local NHS ones are fully booked until a week before my due date. Not wanting to take a chance, I shelled out £200 for 3 sessions and a meet up after our babies have arrived.

However, the antenatal teacher has asked in our first session that one of the parents hosts the last meet up at their home as this 'works quite well'. Nobody has volunteered and I don't think any of us can get 16 people plus 8 babies into our homes. I'm going to suggest we go to somewhere with a function room.

AIBU that this is a bit cheeky to spring this on us after booking the course and to ask new and first time parents to do it?

Has anyone else's NCT done this or is it just our branch?

OP posts:

WhyBeHappyWhenYouCouldBeNormal · 11/09/2014 13:55

It's part of the usual course - it's to get you used to going round to each others houses for coffee (it would probably be the 8 'mothers' once on Maternity leave etc.)

SaucyJack · 11/09/2014 13:56

I've never done NCT but I think you're being a bit unreasonable to be surprised. It's my understanding of the NCT that a lot of people join precisely because they want to get into the mum's coffee morning scene.

Original poster

bebebringingup · 11/09/2014 14:00

They were talking about coming to one of our houses, the couples (it's on a Sunday) and the babies so 17 people (including the fathers and antenatal teacher) plus 8 babies.

OP posts:

Original poster

bebebringingup · 11/09/2014 14:02

I do want to get into the coffee scene but it feels like a lot to ask someone whose just had a baby.

OP posts:

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 11/09/2014 14:04

I've done NCT twice. Both times they suggested the meet up at someone's house. First time we did that, second time we met up at a local cafe in a park. Never with the dads though.

CromerSutra · 11/09/2014 14:11

I think we met at our NCT trainer 'a house. There were about 5 mums and babies in total. I loathed the whole thing and wish I'd never gone in the first place. All the other mums ever seemed to do was talk about John Lewis!

mineymo · 11/09/2014 14:20

My NCT meet up was at the same venue as the classes and we all brought food/drink contributions. We then went on to have a weekly standing date for coffee and cake with the mums and babies, often at someones house but sometimes at cafes or the park.

If someone is happy to host 16 people plus 8 babies then lovely, but it is a big ask otherwise. If I was you I'd keep my head down and hope someone else volunteers! Or suggest a pub lunch or something similar.

InternetFOREVER · 11/09/2014 14:21

Our course included post natal sessions at an NCT volunteers house, although following that we did start doing coffee mornings at each others houses. What will happen if no one volunteers? I agree for £200 for 4 sessions you don't want to find yourself suddenly hosting a party, a few weeks post birth!

Original poster

bebebringingup · 11/09/2014 14:29

I could cope with the mums, 8 people i could fit in but not 17 plus babies. We've got a dog who must investigate everyone who enters the house as well, although he's harmless, he might be stressed about our new arrival anyway and some people just don't like dogs. I don't want to cause him or anyone else any more stress.

I've kept my head down, mainly because I live in the middle of nowhere and
I'm not sure where we would manage to park 9 cars without seriously annoying our neighbours/roadblocking the village.

The NCT teacher has left it to us to organise and everyone's keeping their head down so perhaps it won't happen.

OP posts:

HemlockStarglimmer · 11/09/2014 14:39

Even if they brought their own chairs I couldn't fit them all in.

MissPenelopeLumawoo · 11/09/2014 14:40

Is it covered in the £200 fee or is it just a nice optional extra at the end? If it is part of the fees I don't think it should be at someone's house. Can you not hold it at the place you meet for the other three sessions?

MagpieMama · 11/09/2014 14:54

Our course didn't include a post natal meet up as part of it but the tutor did prompt us into arranging one. We went to Pizza Hut (at her suggestion). It was lovely, basically 5 breastfeeding women eating loads of pizza whilst the Dad's sat proudly with the newborns

HellonHeels · 11/09/2014 15:08

One of my former colleagues claimed that their NCT post-birth meetup consisted of the women meeting for dinner and the new dads going out to what he described as a "titty bar"

farewellfigure · 11/09/2014 15:15

We met up at the organiser's house when the babies were 3 months old as part of the course, (and took great photos of them all in a line), then weekly at each other's houses. In fact we'd already started the weekly get-togethers. It was a squeeze to fit 8 mums in our lounge but we managed it. It was an absolute lifeline to have new mums around to talk to and I highly recommend it. Most of the mums managed to fit everyone in but it wasn't easy. Going out somewhere is a great idea though.

PuppyMouse · 11/09/2014 15:21

Our tutor arranged this with us during the first class. My husband and I volunteered to host and then someone coordinated a list of who would bring what.

There were 7 couples, Dads and Mums and 7 babies in our 3 bed 30s terrace and it was fab! Very stressful getting ready as my husband was exhausted but did all the cleaning and prep (I was still recovering from c section) but it was nice to get the ball rolling on seeing each other.

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