Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Have you ever taken an instant dislike of someone?

63 replies

Poppet1974 · 10/09/2014 23:10

Have you ever just not liked the look of someone without ever having spoken to them?
What is it that you didn't like?
I think a school gate mum really dislikes me but yet I've never actually spoken with her! My DS has never have any dealings with her DS but they ended up at the same rugby class (outside of school), they just started last week. When we were there after school on Monday I sort of tripped whilst walking over to give my DS his water bottle and I could hear her laughing really loudly at me. Was def me she was laughing at, she was standing alone and was staring at me and laughing when I looked round to see who it was. It really upset me actually. I just don't understand it.

OP posts:

Aherdofmims · 11/09/2014 07:59

I have done on occasion although I try to give them a chance. There are a pair of mums who I feel like this about at school although I always make sure I am polite, as I prefer to dislike them secretly in my head!

There is a type of person who always dislikes me - the type that always had to dominate and be king/queen bee or whatever the expression is. I don't know why but they always do!

Fitzers · 11/09/2014 08:27

Yes an old college friend of my DH. They aren't close any more but occasionally meet up e.g, around Christmas. He's just an arrogant sod who really loves himself. I can tolerate him more than I used to be able to but I still don't like him very much.

thegreylady · 11/09/2014 08:33

Yes, the husband of a lady I became friendly with at a slimming club. I only met him once and he was very abrupt and sort of cold. I disliked him so much that I cooled what had looked like developing into a proper friendship.

Meerka · 11/09/2014 08:34

Yeah I have.

On one occasion it turned out to be a visceral reaction to the guy's aftershave tho people's personal scent tends to affect me and for some reason I can't stand this one.

I thought when we happened to meet again that I'd got him totally wrong the first time. Then a while later I met someone with the same aftershave and had the same reaction and twigged

Mrsjayy · 11/09/2014 08:43

Yip just last week and I need to see them every Friday till january its not fair because I dont know her she just rattled me for some reason I dont like dislking someone like that git its a feeling isnt it.

Mrsjayy · 11/09/2014 08:46

I didn't like my friends new boyfriend on meeting him they have been married 5 years still don't like him but he gave me reason to hes a creep

aermingers · 11/09/2014 08:58

I think that's really unkind actually. And a lot of the posters who've said they have are being a bit unkind. If you meet someone once and they've had a bad day and they're not at their best then writing them off forever seems a bit unfair.

I agree with Mrs Winnibago though, I think this woman is actually trying to be pleasant. It makes me think of the story about a mother who worked at US vogue and got her kid a job as an intern. One day the daughter was photocopying alone in a corridor when she saw Anna Wintour walking towards her and Anna Wintour tripped over. Her mother asked the daughter 'What did you do' and the daughter said 'I turned to face the wall didn't say a word and pretended nothing had happened.' And her mother said 'You did exactly the right thing'.

It's hard to know what to do in that situation. I tend to laugh anyway and other people laugh with me, but I honestly think you might be confusing friendliness and interest with dislike.

EssexGurl · 11/09/2014 09:23

Ooh, this could be me writing this post.

There is a school mum who obviously dislikes me. She sighs very loudly, in earshot, when my DS are misbehaving. In the summer I was going up to the station for a day out, dressed up in a new dress - usually only wear jeans - and thought I looked good. She passed me in the street and sniggered as she walked past. No one else around so not directed at anything else but me. I got on the train in floods of tears.

I have done nothing to her. I have spoken to her at one school event. But she obviously dislikes me completely for so e bizarre reason.

LittleMisslikestobebythesea · 11/09/2014 09:26

I know someone who doesn't like me, and for some reason it really bothers me! There are 4 couples including us, it's the men who got to know each other first, and I already knew one woman, who I get on great with, one of the others I get on great with too, but there's one who I just struggle with. I just get a vibe off her.

She sometimes says hello, but I just don't think she's genuine.

I can be polite, but I can just tell she doesn't like me, and I'm not saying she has to like me but I can't work her out.

This man you know sounds rude, even if you think something is funny, you don't laugh at someone unless they are laughing with you. If I see people fall over I check they are ok, though that might embarrass them more, but it's better than laughing!

UsedtobeFeckless · 11/09/2014 09:27

Oh yes - and been spectacularly wrong on several occasions! People I've hated on sight turn out to be lovely and people I felt an instant connection with turn out to be total gits ... My inner voice is absolutely rubbish so I never write anyone off until I've known them for ages now!

HazleNutt · 11/09/2014 09:30

No, but there have been a few people who have taken an instant dislike to me. Some at first sight, before I have even opened my mouth, so I don't think it's because I'm a really unpleasant person or anything. I'm also not that pretty, so it can be explained with jealousy.

I'm generally a decent person and most people like me, so I also don't think it's because they can sense the evils..The only explanation I can think of is that I must remind them of someone unpleasant.

Morloth · 11/09/2014 09:45

Yes, a couple of times. And have been quite right as well.

I don't need to like everyone and I don't mind if other people don't like me, thems the breaks.

pregnantpause · 11/09/2014 09:53

I have many times, but I'm usually wrong and tbh it's a defensive reaction. If I don't like people I don't invest in hope of friendship. Most people don't like me I don't know why really, but I never had friends at school, or college, or any of the places I've worked. Acquaintances yes, I superficially get on with lots and lots of people but it never develops into friendship. I have one friend.

People often take an instant dislike to me. Obviously so. And always have. When I was a child it was because I was quiet, then when I overcame my shyness it was because I was smart, people have accused me of being posh, stuck up and I have been told I'm scummy and under class one lady told me she didn't like me because of the way I smiled she liked my mother who I was with though and after parting this lovely insult sat with us chatting for half an hour,

SinisterBuggyMonth · 11/09/2014 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fun1nthesun · 11/09/2014 13:48

We can dislike people on sight for lots of reason eg they look like someone who has bullied us, their smell reminds us of something that has caused us anxiety, what they say might remind us of a "type" of person etc etc.

Interestingly, a recent experiment has proved that telepathic thoughts can be sent, and I think a lot of people pick up on that. What we might pick up on though, is someone feeling unhappy/annoyed/tired/frustrated and get a negative vibe from them, when really, that person feeling those feelings has nothing to do with us.

But yes, there is one woman who really dislikes me and goes to extreme lengths to avoid looking at or talking to me. I find it funny. That's probably wrong of me but I do

Thumbwitch · 11/09/2014 13:54

Only one that really stands out in my memory, and it was entirely mutual. WE just didn't "take" to each other at all; in fact, when she sat behind me in lectures, I felt my skin crawling.
I can't honestly say what it was about her - she looked nice enough, we had mutual friends, we even tried to be polite to each other - but there was something "wrong" between us.

Never was resolved.

flingingmelon · 11/09/2014 14:19

I recently had to battle an instant dislike of a woman who seemed like the living embodiment of Pinterest. She was just so perfect all my insecurities rose up and decided I hated her.

Thing is, she was actually a bit fake, which was almost definitely her just being overly nice in an attempt to stop people taking a dislike due to her all round loveliness.

WiseGuysHighRise · 11/09/2014 14:39

Agree with MrsWinnebago that you/the other person may have misjudged the sistuation - them laughing was not necessarily nasty.

I have taken an instant dislike to a number of people. I met someone for the first time who said "you probably already know all about me. I'm the one who..." and I just thought she was self-obsessed. I knew my friend's boyfriend (now husband) was a sleaze on first meeting him. He was and remains one. I could feel him sizeing me up when we first met. So yes, I have taken fairly instant dilikes to people but with some justification.

chockbic · 11/09/2014 14:41

Not an instant dislike but more of a gut feeling. As if something is off with that person yet unsure what.

underthebrownfogofawinternoon · 11/09/2014 14:42

firstly she sounds like a biatch and you sound quite nice.
secondly yes I have taken an instant dislike to people and if I listen to my inner voice am rarely wrong.
I don't think that is what this is about though

Serenitysutton · 11/09/2014 14:43

Yes quite frequently. I'm an excellent judge of character

AttentionSeekingFantasist · 11/09/2014 14:47

fun1nthesun any chance of a link to the telepathic thought experiment? I have an important deadline and need reasons to not work.

Topseyt · 11/09/2014 14:49

I didn't like my husband when I first met him.

No idea really what it was I didn't like as he is lovely. Whatever it was it didn't remain an issue. That was 28 years ago now. We have been happily married for 21 years now and have three daughters.

fun1nthesun · 11/09/2014 14:51

it was in the Daily Fail yesterday. Not that I ever read it of course. Never.

Littlegreyauditor · 11/09/2014 15:24

One of DH's friends hates me. From the moment I met her it is as if I am standing in front of an open freezer. Everyone tries to excuse her behaviour with 'oh, that's just X, she's so quirky'.

No. She's not quirky, she is a weer-beast.

Once, at a pub quiz, she climbed into a booth seat, squeezed between DH and me (there was not much room) and turned her back to me. Something tells me I was the flaw in her back up plan. I nearly ended up on the floor, everyone else was mortified, no one knew where to look.

Since then I channel the full force of all my thousand yard stare at her every time. When we got married she suddenly decided she was going to work abroad.

A pity.

So yeah. It wasn't instant dislike for me, but it certainly seems to have been for her

Flip

1 2 3